Friday, 26 July 2002: I am so friggin' tired today. Yes, this time it was definitely all my fault. Katie was working last night, so it was time for a guy's movie night out. My Dad, brother, his friend, and I all went to see Reign of Fire. Not an entirely bad flick so long as you go in expecting nothing. The ending was a bit of a letdown, but the special effects were second to none. I have yet to see SFX better than these. Yeah, this movie did have scenes of dragons swooping by which would be easy enough to do on computer. However, it also had scenes where the full body of a dragon was hovering in midair over a target and rearing back it's head and neck, puffing up it's chest, and unleashing a fireball. The entire time the dragon was on screen, it looked so real. I was in awe at how realistically it came across. There was none of the typical digital artifacting that is always so apparent in computer generated effects (i.e. the horrible SFX in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone).
Well, anyway, as we were leaving, I turned on my cellphone and had a message waiting for me from Kate. She asked me if I wanted to just stick around at the theatre and she'd meet me so we could go see a late show of Austin Powers in Goldmember. I figured 'what the hell' as it was an excuse for Katie and me to spend time together outside the apartment. So I called her up and we met for the flick. It's been quite a while since I've pulled a theatrical doubleheader (last one was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back followed by The Others). It was pretty damned good and more than made up for what I felt were a lot of shortcomings in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. The first 15 minutes of the film alone are worth the price of your ticket. Tons of cameos. Katie and I couldn't stop laughing. It was also nice to see how much they had expanded on the roles of Mini Me (Verne Troyer) and Scott Evil (Seth Green) - he was listed third in the credits and definitely deserved it... he had a big part in the flick. I will also admit that, as much as I was not looking forward to her being in this movie, Beyonce Knowles was surprisingly good as Foxxy Cleopatra. She's easily the best of all the Austin Power femme fatales (not that it really takes much to be a better actress than Heather Graham, but I was quite fond of Elizabeth Hurley in the first movie).
Well, by the time we left the theatre, it was around 12:15 or so. We got home and, of course, I couldn't fall asleep. And, of course, as soon as Katie's head hit the pillow, she was out. I am so jealous of her ability to do that. She can say she's wide awake (which she did last night), but she'll still fall dead asleep the second she lays down). Dammit.
Thursday, 25 July 2002: Ohmigod! Holy Hell! The Apocalypse is nigh! Why do I say this? Read on...
According to a foxnews.com article, a NYC-based lawyer is suing McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, and KFC Corporation for making his client fat.
...the dead rising from the grave... seas burning...
I've always felt that the legal system in the U.S. needs a serious revamping. Now, I think it's time I actively crusade for said changes. This is absolutely ludicrous. As Katharine Kim, a spokeswoman for the National Restaurant Association, said, "it's senseless, baseless, and ridiculous." Seriously, people, if you are afraid of getting fat, you know as well as anyone, not to go to these restaurants or to carefully choose a lower calorie/fat item from the menu. All four of these restaurants clearly post the nutritional content information in their restaurants on huge friggin' posters and they typically have little fliers that you can take home with said content listed. All this information is also available from toll-free phone numbers or off their websites.
...dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
Jesus, even I acknowledge the fact that having eaten all that crap is the reason why I peaked out at 280 pounds during grad school. And not eating it is the reason I now have lost 42 pounds (and counting). Katie is the same way, she's lost about 18 pounds since we cut that crap out of our diets. Not that we avoid it entirely, but we realize how bad it is and, therefore, have reduced consumption of this stuff to a once a month treat. (Don't worry, when we get to our goal weights, we'll probably post before and after shots on the site. 'Til then, though...)
People, open your eyes! If for no other reason than to be able to dodge the hellfire and brimstone that's raining down around us all right now.
I suppose I should now sue my high school football coach for not clearly explaining that football is a contact sport that can, and did, cause me grievous bodily harm (I have two bad ankles and a bum knee). Or, how about suing the automotive industry for not telling me that driving their vehicles makes me walk less to get where I'm going and, therefore, I may not get as much exercise as I otherwise would? Hmmm, so many prime opportunities for a class action lawsuit. Time to jump on the bandwagon.
Yeah, so suffice it to say that this dipshit and his lawyer get a permanent spot in the "Darwinism Missed Me" file.
So, who y'all planning to sue?
N.B. The indented, italicized quotes are both from Ghostbusters when the four of them are describing a hypothetical apocalypse to the mayor of NYC. Remember?
Wednesday, 24 July 2002: The following entry is rated PG-13. Not necessarily dirty, but definitely sexual in content.
Everyone who has ever watched a movie or TV show or read some magazine that has dealt with sex has likely come across some kind of reference to the male inability to incorporate foreplay in sex. I will admit that foreplay is not necessarily always at the forefront (pun intended, of course) of every male's mind during an intimate encounter (myself included). However, until now, I have never heard any sort of defensive argument as to why males seem to fall short in the foreplay arena. It's pretty good, too. It comes from the book I'm currently reading -- "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby (the basis of the movie starring John Cusack). Here it is in its entirety...
Read any women's magazine and you'll see the same complaint over and over again: men -- those little boys ten or twenty or thirty years on -- are hopeless in bed. They are not interested in "foreplay"; they have no desire to stimulate the erogenous zones of the opposite sex; they are selfish, greedy, clumsy, unsophisticated. These complaints, you can't help feeling, are kind of ironic. Back then, all we wanted was foreplay, and girls weren't interested. They didn't want to be touched, caressed, stimulated, aroused; in fact, they used to thump us if we tried. It's not really very surprising, then, that we're not much good at all that. We spent two or three long and extremely formative years being told very forcibly not even to think about it. Between the ages of fourteen and twenty-four, foreplay changes from being something that boys want to do and girls don't, to something that women want and men can't be bothered with. (Or so they say. Me, I do like foreplay -- mostly because the times when all I wanted to do was touch are alarmingly fresh in my mind.) The perfect match, if you ask me, is between the Cosmo woman and the fourteen-year-old boy.
Makes quite a bit of sense, doesn't it? Think about it from a Pavlovian perspective (you know, the whole drooling dog experiment). If a guy tries to put the moves on a girl when they are both young... he tries to touch her... make her feel somewhat turned on (as much as a fourteen-year-old boy is capable of, at least)... she slaps him. Maybe he tries it again somewhere down the line either with the same girl or with another and gets slapped again. Eventually, he'll figure that one and one do make two and make the association that touching a girl erotically leads to being slapped, shoved, kicked in jibblies, etc., etc., ad infinitum. Hence, subconscious foreplay avoidance.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not using this as an excuse to avoid foreplay. I, like the author, do enjoy foreplay as well. But, I'm not necessarily the be-all-end-all King of Foreplay. I acknowledge this fact and realize that this, too, might be one reason why it's not always the first thing I, or other guys for that matter, think about. But it is always fun to partake in such escapades. I'm just presenting Mr. Hornby's argument for popular consideration.
Tuesday, 23 July 2002: Oh, thank God. Just when it looked like an animated mouse in a sequel, no less, was going to take the cake, the final tallies for this weekend's box office take were calculated. When all was said and done, The Road to Perdition eked past Stuart Little 2 by a mere $300K. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't stand the thought of that mouse (even if he is voiced by the likes of Michael J. Fox whom I do respect as an actor and all-around human being) doing better than a class act flick with the multi-star power of Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, and Jude Law. My faith in the moviegoing public has been restored. Thank you all.