This means war!!!
Anybody who is married or regularly shares a bed with a second person knows that there is an inherent adjustment period when going from sleeping in your own bed to sharing one, right? It can be difficult and the amount of time necessary to make the adjustment varies from couple to couple.
Well, Katie and I adjusted relatively quickly to it.
However, sharing a bed and sharing blankets are two. entirely. different. things.
For a long time, I was always more of a sleep-on-top-of-the-blanket kind of guy. This was a problem for Katie because when I'm on top of the blankets, I'm effectively pinning them down and keeping her from being able to move... a sort of bed-top straitjacket.
So she eventually weened me into becoming a sleep-under-the-blanket guy. This has it's own set of problems entirely. Now we are engaged in a bedroom civil war over blanket territoriality. She says I hog it, I maintain she does. She complains that I grab an edge and roll to the outside of the bed, I insist that she cocoons herself.
At some point, we reached a bit of a middle ground. Even though I'm now a blanket guy, I can get away with just a sheet. It's something covering me, and that's good enough.
However, she recently started violating this armistice by kicking the sheet, which she apparently is not fond of sleeping with, down to the foot of the bed. She does this completely unconsciously. She'll start out sleeping with the sheet and blanket up; but, by the time she wakes up, the blanket is still there while the sheet is nowhere to be found. And I'm left freezing my tookis (sp?) off.
The other night, in a final act of symbolic defiance, she intentionally kicked the sheet off me and down to the foot of the bed, grabbed the whole comforter, and cackled like a witch on speed.
Oh, it's on, baby girl!
I turned on my nightstand light and got out of bed, and, immediately, her eyes expanded in fear of the unknown. I tucked the sheet back in the bottom of the mattress. Then I tucked in the comforter. She latched her hands on the top edge of the comforter as I maneuvered into a flanking position on her side of the bed, repositioned her arms down by her side, and tucked the sheet and blanket around her in a virtual mummification.
Katie: "Noooooooooo! I won't be able to move!"
Me: "I could strap you down like a mental patient."
"But what if I have to go to the bathroom?"
"Hold it til morning."
"Noooooooooooo!!!"
I jumped back in bed and shut off the light quite satisfied with the results of my militaristic strategery.
Schwarzkopf's got nothin' on me.
