Lost Blogs: Day 4

After reading my earlier posts, you may be scratching your head wondering how the hell I could remember all those details from the early part of my life. I’ve heard my story told several times. And, while I don’t understand every word (as I explained previously), I have heard enough of the same words repeated over and over enough times that I can figure it out. Plus, I have a ton of those flat images of me. I think they’re called photographs. They’re taken with something called a “camera.” Cameras are the strangest contraptions in the world, aren’t they? It’s a big, black box on a three-legged stand. The box has a hole in the middle of it that they point at you while they hold a big broom-looking thing in the air. Then the person behind the box pulls their head out from under a blanket, makes a goofy face, and pushes a button. What happens next is a bit of a blur as I’m temporarily blinded by that broom-looking wand when it erupts in a flash of light. What the hell is that all about? I digress. I began racing really early in life and Sam and my coach, Louis (I call him “Louie Louie” – it’s my one chance at revenge for him constantly calling me “Big Red”… the prick), knew I was something special immediately. After all, I won my first race. And not by some small margin either. I won my next couple races, as well. I was quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with. In fact, there was only one race in my life that I didn’t win. And you wanna know why? My partner distracted me at the starting line. I was all kinds of discombobulated (what a great word!). The starting gun fired… and I missed it. Everyone was well ahead of me on this race. But you wanna know something? Even though I started late and they were all so far ahead of me, I still finished in second place. Yep, I came from behind and only finished about a few heads back on the leader. How’s that for drama? Welcome to the Lost Blogs/GBBMC promotion. If you liked what you read here and would like to see what other bloggers from throughout history might say, check out Paul Davidson's The Lost Blogs coming soon to a bookstore near you.