I really wish Heaven would institute a screening policy before allowing some people to live amongst other humans.
[phone rings]
Me: Hello?
Him: Who is this?
Me: You called me.
Him: So who is this?
Me: You called me and you don't know who I am?
Him: Mutha f&*ka, you tryin' to punk me?
Me: What?
Him: You called me.
Me: Uh, no. You called me.
Him: My caller ID says you called me.
Me: Believe me, I didn't.
Him: Bi%^&, tell me where you live and I'll come beat yo' ass.
Me: Uh huh. Sure.
Him: Fu&%$, I'm gonna come over there and... [I'd really rather not repeat what was said]
Me: Yeah, okay. Good luck with that.
Him: What??
[I hang up the phone]
Gee, and we could've been such good friends.
