So the ever-crushable Hilly's most recent challenge is to tell four truths and one lie about ourselves.
I wasn't sure I really wanted to do this one. Is it truly possible for me to lie about myself? I mean, why lie when there are just oh-so-many fantabulous truths I could tell that would make all of you just swoon (even the guys).
Then I read diane's contribution to the effort and figured, "oh what the heck."
So here I am telling five tales. And you, my astute readers, must cleverly disseminate between fact and fiction. Are you up to the task?
Here we go...
1. I am prone to workshop injuries.
This includes nearly chopping off the final metatarsel of my right thumb on a band saw and watching as a chisel slid like a warm knife in butter through the skin at the base of my left thumb. On that last one, I was so unaffected, I walked up to my shop teacher and asked if I could go see the nurse. He asked why. I showed him the wound while making it open and close like a mouth talking. You could see the muscle inside my flesh and it was gushing blood the whole time. I don't think he appreciated my sense of humor.
2. I am a third-degree brown belt in Kenpo.
This is a form of karate that translates to "open hand." I was only about a year and a half away from earning my black belt. But we moved to Illinois and Kenpo was not taught in any of the local dojos, so I gave up. I started taking karate because I was constantly in fights in school and needed help learning to defend myself. My brother was taking classes with me but quit after he got his orange belt. My lead sensei was the uncle of Tia Carrere (Wayne's World and True Lies). Of course, no one knew who she was back then.
3. I played water polo.
... and hated every minute of it. From the stupid Speedo swim"suits" to the God-awful headgear to the treading water for hours on end. I did everything I could to just make it through the season and get it over and done with. During practices, the coaches rarely watched us doing our warm-up laps. So I stole the weighted rubber bricks from the storage closet and perfected my underwater diving and lung control skills collecting them off the bottom of the deep end. Perhaps I should've been a pearldiver. After one season in high school, I never played water polo again.
4. Despite my current overweight status, I was a running back in high school.
No, not a starter. Heck, not even the immediate backup to the starter. I was what amounted to a third-string running back at the varsity level, but first string on the JV squad... when I was healthy. However, I was not too motivated to do well in football. I knew there was no way in the name of all that was holy I would ever be first string considering our starters were All-State athletes, so I just coasted by knowing I'd get to play in the JV game. But I still scored my fair share of touchdowns. To this day, I wish that I had played a more "inert" position simply because I injured myself far too much. Both of my ankles and one of my knees is shot. I can't wait until the day arthritis sets in. Yay.
5. I was a winner in my first Texas Hold 'Em tournament.
The first time I ever played in an unofficial, semi-organized Texas Hold 'Em ("poker" for you non-players) tournament, I won it. I believe there were seven or eight of us at the table and I just sat back and started playing. I kept a low profile for much of the game, but played safely enough to remain in it. I took out the last two players in back-to-back hands and walked away with $100. I haven't played in a money tournament since that day.
So which is it? It's really not that tough. Lying comes easy to me so long as I'm not bookending it with the truth. So this exercise was rather difficult.
