Hold on a sec! I think I may be on to something here...
The other day, I was talking to an old friend on the phone and she mentioned something strange that happened to her.
"So The Man (her husband) and I received a wedding invitation today and I'll be damned if either of us know who these people are. We've been sitting here for an hour running through lists of friends, family, colleagues, and their kids and we can't figure it out. We even tried Googling them in hopes of finding a picture and we've got nothing."
After I was done laughing, an idea popped up in my head. How brilliant a scam would it be, if you're about to get married, to just drive around the ritzier neighborhoods in your city and surrounding towns and find the addresses of those people who look very well-to-do. Then you Google their addresses or use some other method to get their name. Next step is to send them a wedding invitation, but you must personalize it as well. For example, handwrite a note at the bottom of the invite saying something like, "I really can't wait to see you again, it's been far too long!"
Odds are they won't show up, but maybe they'll send a gift out of some twisted sense of obligation. And even if they do show up, it's no burden on the bride and groom who don't even know half the people at their wedding anyway because their parents invite a bunch of old friends and lost family members. Regardless of who it is, and I know this from experience, you smile, hug, shake hands, and pretend like you know who they are anyway. It's part of the wedding routine. That's just how it goes.
But don't you think this is a great idea? I know it's too late for me or Alissa or Kilax to try, but how about Suze or Kazaa? You're both soon to be married, right? I think you should give this a try.
Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Katie received a catalog in the mail the other day from Urban Outfitters. I think it's the result of having purchased some T-shirts from them a couple years ago for her brothers. I'll be honest, the catalog actually has some pretty cool stuff in it like a replica of Linus' blanket and Chuck's sad little Christmas tree from Peanuts. But I'm afraid to order from it simply because I fear that, packaged within the shipping container will be a packet of suicide-inducing sorrow.
Holy crap, have you ever seen a more morose bunch of models in your life? You can even see some examples on their Web site if you click above. I think I saw one picture in the entire catalog in which one of the models even slightly upturns the corners of her lips.
I know people claim to possess "cans of whoop ass" they are willing to open on a moment's notice, but do you believe in the existence of "sachets of self despair" or "lockets of loathing"? If so, I'm sure Urban Outfitters carries it.
Smile, people!
This meme is entitled Toast & Tea & Me and comes from the lovely Miss Sizzle.
1. What is your occupation?
Webhead.
2. What color are your socks right now?
White.
3. What are you listening to right now?
A train passing by. Before this, it was the James Bond theme song as I just finished watching Casino Royale.
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
A packet of trail mix.
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Nope. Sad, isn't it?
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Katie. She's pretty much the only person I talk to on the phone. I hate phones. So it has to be someone worthwhile like Katie.
7. Do you like the person who sent this meme to you?
Well, she didn't send it to me, but I dig her.
8. How old are you today?
32 and 11.5/12 months.
9. Favorite drink?
Green tea? Orange juice? Vodka? Tequila? Depends on my mood and what's around.
10. What is your favorite sport to watch?
American football.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Not enough hair to dye. But a friend tried to dye my goatee blond one time.
12. Pets?
None at the moment.
13. Favorite food?
Anything cooked by her Katie-ness. She whipped together a pretty wicked batch of chili last week. Yum!
14. What was the last movie you watched?
Watched Casino Royale the other day while working on the walls and Batman Begins before that.
15. What’s your favorite day of the week?
Friday. Duh.
16. How do you vent anger?
Blogging or exercising or just finding some way to retreat away from anything that could anger me further. Typically involves and iPod and earbuds.
17. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Just as a child? Legos were my fave along with Star Wars toys. But Legos continue to be a favorite and one whose play I plan to promote to my own kids.
18. What is your favorite season?
Fall. Didn't I answer that already?
19. Hugs or kisses?
Whichever Katie will grace me with.
20. Cherries or Blueberries?
Blueberries. No question. Greatest fruit ever.
21. Do you want your friends to try this meme?
If they want.
22. Who is most likely to respond?
No clue.
23. Who is least likely to respond?
No clue.
24. Living arrangements?
Katie and I own a townhouse.
25. When was the last time you cried?
When Rex Grossman returned to the field for the Chicago Bears. Tears of terror.
26. What is on the floor of your closet?
A laundry basket and some shoes.
27. Who is the friend you have known the longest that you are sending this to?
I'm sending it to nobody.
28. What did you do last night?
Went to a movie and dinner with Katie and my parents. We saw Bee Movie.
29. Favorite smell?
The kitchen after Katie has cooked something. But I also like the smell of burgers and dogs that I whiff when I pass by a Portillo's.
30. What inspires you?
Anything. Just a matter of whether it moves me when I see it. Could be big, could be small. Could be something that nobody else even takes notice of.
31. What are you afraid of?
I think I answered this one as well. Yep, #1 in the meme back on Wednesday.
32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
What the heck is a spicy hamburger? Pending that answer, I'm sticking with cheezborger, cheezborger!
33. Favorite dog breed?
Never owned a dog so I can't say I have a favorite breed.
34. How many states have you lived in?
Five - New York, Kentucky, Connecticut, Illinois, and Iowa.
35. Favorite holiday?
For the longest time, it's been Halloween, but I feel that waning of late because nobody else gives a rat's patootie about it. Takes the fun out of it a bit.
