But what it don't get I can't use...

I was having trouble figuring out what to post today. Not so much having trouble writing as I wrote what I feel to be a pretty good post, but I just don't feel quite ready to make it public yet. I'm thinking possibly Friday on that one. You may soon figure out why.

However, then I received a forward from my dad. A man who never sends forwards. Hell, I've questioned whether he knows how to use e-mail... or read books that aren't technical manuals or work-related catalogs... or cook something other than a bologna sandwich...

But, I love him all the same. And this was too good to not post. So here is my Tuesday post as contributed by my father.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be an American!

Are you investing wisely?

While I can say I currently invest conservatively, I think it may be time to be a bit more aggressive with the market. What are shares of Guinness going for these days?

I do have a meme for you in the extended post, though.

This is called Thirty One and comes to you courtesy of g-man at Man Overboard! The sad thing is that many of my answers mirror his, so I guess I'm cheating to some degree.

The Rule: Answer the questions using only one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? Counter
2. Your significant other? KT
3. Your hair? Going
4. Your mother? Traveling
5. Your father? Homebound
6. Your favorite thing? iPod
7. Your dream last night? Unmemorable
8. Your favorite drink? Guinness
9. Your dream/goal? Happiness
10. The room you’re in? Kitchen
11. Your hobby? Photography
12. Your fear? Alone
13. Where do you want to be in six years? Debtfree
14. What you’re not? Skinny
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. One of your wish list items? DSLR
17. Where you grew up? Illinois
18. The last thing you did? Typing
19. What are you wearing? Warm-ups
20. Favorite gadget? iPod
21. Your pets? None
22. Your computer? iMac
23. Your mood? Bored
24. Missing someone? Yes
25. Your car? Truck
26. Something you’re not wearing? Hat
27. Favorite store? iTunes
28. Like someone? Love
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Minutes
31. Last time you cried? Forget