kapgar

They call me the whore...

There's a girl I met recently. I don't really know her other than as a relative acquaintance. I see her from time to time and we say "hi." Not much more.

That should do well to establish our "relationship."

So when you really don't know someone any better than this, is there a "good" way to tell her that her excessive use of facial makeup results in her looking like a dime-store hooker?

I'm not saying she's quite up to Tammy Faye standards just yet, but she's getting dangerously close.

I tread dangerous ground.

Hey! Got a meme in the extended post...

To terrorize y'all's neighborhood...

Halloween 13
I nabbed this from SJ a bit ago but I only now got around to completing it. I was waiting until closer to the actual holiday. Seems close enough now, don't you think?

1. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?
   The "Version You've Never Seen" of The Exorcist. That damned spider walk scene gives me the willies.
2. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child?
   It's a tie between Perseus from Clash of the Titans and Emperor Palpatine from The Return of the Jedi. Both homemade by my mom.
3. Given enough money what would be your fantasy Halloween costume?
   I would be one of the Colonial Marines from Aliens. Specifically Drake (Mark Rolston) because he had that mutha of a gun.
4. When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?
   I think it was back in 1997 while in grad school. I could be wrong. Maybe it was the year before that during my senior year of college.
5. What is your favorite Halloween candy?
   I love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Although, I would love to get my hands on some of SJ's Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins. Never heard of them before.
6. Tell us about a scary nightmare you once had.
   I'd really rather not talk about it again, so I'll link it.
7. What is your supernatural fear?
   Ouija boards. I tried one once and it worked. Never touched it again.
8. What is your ‘creepy-crawly’ fear?
   Spiders and cockroaches. Not much of a fan of either. Although taking pictures of spiderwebs has made me a bit more tolerant of the former.
9. Tell us about a time when you saw a ghost, or heard something go bump in the night.
   Never saw one, per se. But was visited by the spirit of my friend Mike who died back in 1993. He visited me via my radio cutting songs in and out and playing songs he liked that the station I was listening to at the time never has played before.
10. Would you stay overnight in a real haunted house?
    Absolutely. Might take me a while to actually enter, but I'd do it eventually.
11. Are you a traditionalist or a creative carver of your Jack-O’Lantern?
    More traditional. Actually, I don't even really carve that much. I like whole pumpkins for decoration along with gourds and indian corn. That and you don't wind up with rotten, smelly pumpkins by the time the actual holiday rolls around.
12. How much do you decorate your house at Halloween?
    We decorate the inside moreso than the outside. Pumpkins, lights, gourds, the works.
13. What do you want on your tombstone?
    I'm not even entirely sure I want a tombstone to be honest. I'd rather have my ashes spread in a few different places as a tribute. A little bit spread on Hawk Hill near Sausalito, CA. Some along the lakefront or at Soldier Field in Chicago. Maybe a little urn along the bar at my fave pub, Old Towne, in Geneva, IL (just don't put me in a mixed drink, please).

Steal at will, as per usual.

They had some character...

Typically, I'm not a big Hollywood gossip whore. Sure, I've mentioned a few things here and there on this blog, but they certainly do not constitute a majority of my posts. But this one was too good to pass up simply because of how it was handled by one of the subjects.

According to IMDb, both Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are battling rumors they are gay. If you recall, the celeb mags and tabloid rags were alight over the summer with shots of McConaughey and Armstrong, along with Jake Gyllenhaal, bicycling together everywhere. Apparently, they even coined a new word for it... the "bro-mance," which sounds like something that belonged in Monday's episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Yeah, so they spent a lot of time together and even, *gasp*, biked shirtless. But to automatically come to the conclusion they are gay simply because of this and the fact that both had recently broken up with their significant others? Please.

McConaughey's response [in an interview with Details magazine]? "We tried it (being gay). It wasn't for us."

That's classic! I give Matt big props for having such fun with it and not coming off as a jackass like so many other celebrities would.

If you're interested, I have a TV meme/list in the extended post. Check it out.

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Latest Fun With Dead Trees reviews - I come back with my second review in as many days in Augusten Burroughs' Magical Thinking: True Stories and *lynne* does the same with a review of Yann Martel's Life of Pi. So am I now exempted from reviewing again for another month? Claire and *lynne* seem to be covering the site pretty well in my absence. That's gotta count for something, right?

Well, it's a free for all...

After yesterday's mental and emotional drain, I think today will be a snippet post... yep, a little fun for everyone!

911 is a joke in yo' town . . .
Walking across campus today, I observed a campus security officer getting out of her golfcart (nice!) and pushing one of the emergency alert buttons. Now I realize she was just testing it to make sure all was good, but when you see a cop pushing an alarm button, doesn't it unnerve you a bit?

I'm strong to the finish . . .
Can somebody please tell me when the damn spinach recall/ban is going to end? I miss my spinach pizzas and spinach on Subway sandwiches and spinach salads.

I'm truly suffering here, people!

Film processing . . .
I know I'm a couple weeks late on the stormwatch photos, but they are in the process of being, well, processed. And, thanks to Dariush for the head's up on Wal-Mart's great $5.88 prints/CD deal. Actually, when I took them in there (along with a third roll of shots from a trip to Kuiper's Farm in Maple Park, IL, this past weekend), I discovered that if I only have a CD made and no prints, it only costs $1.98 per roll. That's pretty flippin' awesome.

Chinese Democracy?
Listening to the radio on the way to work this morning, they announced that tickets will be going on sale this Saturday for the Guns 'n' Roses Chinese Democracy world tour. They will be arriving on the "Nightrain" in Rosemont, IL, on November 27.

My first issue, clearly, is that only one of the original members of Guns 'n' Roses is in this band and that would be Axl. They also have Dizzy Reed from the Use Your Illusion era of the band now, too, but he doesn't count. He was just a keyboardist. Seriously. Check out this lineup... W. Axl Rose on vocals, Richard Fortus and Robin Finck on guitar, Tommy Stinson on bass, Bryan Mantia on drums, and Dizzy Reed on keyboards. Actually, G'n'R have two keyboardists, having retained the services of Chris Pitman in addition to Reed. The only person in the bunch I've heard of is Stinson because I worship The Replacements. Otherwise, Fortus and Finck are known for giving the "bluesy chops" to Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful." Hmmm...

My second issue is that they still haven't released the damn album. It's more than a decade in the making and it's release date has been pushed away more times than Mark Foley in the YMCA of Greater D.C. Do they have a drop date for the album yet? The G'n'R site doesn't even mention the album.

My final issue is that this is Axl. How many tours has he personally sabotaged? How many shows have been canceled in the past due to his antics and volatile personality?

Okay, I'm not buying into it. It might be cool, but that's if the concert defies the odds and actually goes as planned.

Meme/list/whatever . . .
I have a meme, or is it a "list," in the extended post for anyone interested.

Goodbye my friend...

My dear friend,

Why has our friendship failed? I feel as though our relationship was never quite given the chance it so richly deserved.

Was it something I said? Was it something I did (or did not do)?

I've tried to be a good friend. I talk about you on occasion. I visit. Even when I'm exceptionally busy, I will check in to make sure things are kosher with you.

Yet you spite me so.

Regardless of the efforts I have made to allow our friendship to bloom, you make absolutely no move whatsoever to take "us" to the next level. You seem more than happy to just sit there and do nothing; content in my actions, but never reciprocating.

I don't get it.

But I don't want it to end. Clearly, I feel more indebted to our friendship than you.

Some might call it codependency, others obsession. Me? I prefer to use a Web acronym to describe it... BFF... yes, "Best Friend Forever." That's what you mean to me. And that's what I thought I meant to you.

Is it because I am just one man? A lone soul in a sea of millions striving to be your pal?

I know you are well loved. You have many, many friends. But none of them would ever treat you the way that I would if you'd just give me a chance.

Those other 101,872,606 "friends" you have? They don't care about you the way I do. They're nobodies. Just faces trying to be cool by association.

Tom, why am I not your friend? Please explain this to me and help me reconcile my feelings.

Still your BFF,

Heartbroken in Chicagoland

I've got a meme for you in the extended post, courtesy of C(h)ristine.

Everybody's down on their knees, listen like thieves...

This post idea originally came from Tiff and I really dug it. So I asked, she said yes (I think), and here it is.

I'm 31 years old and have been a music fan for quite a vast majority of that time. Be it listening to whatever my parents happened to have playing in the car when I was a child or those first early cassettes I bought on my own (The Beach Boys, "Weird" Al Yankovic, Europe, The Beastie Boys, and Bon Jovi - motley mix, isn't it?) or any of the hundreds of CDs and digital tracks I've purchased or downloaded over the years. Music has been there for me.

But I, like Tiff, have always run into a problem that plagues the music industry as a whole. This problem is that there are very few albums out there that can be considered wholly listenable. Sometimes you'll hear a song on the radio that you like and are interested in purchasing but you fear buying the entire album on which the song is contained because the rest may be, and usually are, complete crap.

Yes, this problem has been abated somewhat by digital downloading in which you can just buy individual tracks, but it still hasn't stopped the music industry from putting out tripe and calling it music.

This has made me appreciate, even more, those "perfect" albums. The ones where I can sit and listen to the whole thing beginning to end, with no desire to skip tracks at all.

No, despite the prominence of the album cover on this post, I do not consider Europe's "The Final Countdown" to be a "perfect" album.

While there are more, here are ten such albums that I have on my iPod...

• Depeche Mode "Violator" - my first DM experience and still one of my favorites, although "Ultra" is up there.
• Bruce Springsteen "Born to Run" - 10th Avenue freeze out!
• Van Halen "OU812" - not nearly their most popular, but my personal favorite.
• Motley Crue "Dr. Feelgood" - one of my first and best live music experiences ever.
• The Replacements "Pleased to Meet Me" - damn you, Eric, for making me a Replacements freak.
• U2 "Boy" - heaven; pure heaven.
• Radiohead "The Bends" - I still prefer the older Radiohead.
• Michael Jackson "Thriller" - he's a freak, but this album rocks.
• INXS "Listen Like Thieves" - there are several INXS albums I could have picked, but this is one of the coolest.
• Aerosmith "Toys in the Attic" - nothing like the classics.

What would make your list?

Oh, and I've got a meme for you in the extended post, courtesy of *lynne*.

God put a smile upon your face...

This has got to be one of the coolest things I have ever seen in terms of independent video production.

Basically, an artist named Ahree Lee began taking a digicam self portrait of herself on November 1, 2001. This trend continued every single day. I think it's still going on as she calls this film a work in progress.

Well, she has now taken each shot and spliced it together into a film showing her evolution over what amounts to nearly five years. Each photo is a single frame within the video and, while it may sound a bit weird, the end result is fantastic.

And the music on the video was written by her husband. It, too, is really good.

Yes, this video is also available on YouTube, but if you watch it on AtomFilms, she actually receives a royalty for it. Either way, it's free to you.

Check it out.

Oh, and I've got a meme for you in the extended post, courtesy of SJ.

Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it...

Okay, some of these questions may be a little similar to Meme-ology, but there are enough new ones in here to justify doing it anyway. Oh yeah, stole it from Wordnerd.

The Food Meme

How do you like your eggs?
Really depends on my mood. I like 'em scrambled, fried, hard-boiled, soft-boiled, smashed, whatever.

How do you take your coffee/tea?
Coffee would be black and medium to medium-strong in taste. I also like Frappucinos. Tea would have to be green and hot or unsweetened and cold.

What are you favorite breakfast foods?
I love plain cereals like Cheerios, Rice Krispies, and Corn Flakes. But I also like eggs, waffles, pancakes, English muffins, and bagels. But these latter ones I don't eat all too often. Typically because they take too much time to prepare. Unless it's a weekend.

Peanut butter: smooth or crunchy?
Smooth Jif. That's the only one I'll eat. Actually, it's the only peanut butter that either Katie or I will eat. The rest just doesn't cut it.

What kind of dressing on your salad?
Bleu cheese, ranch, Italian, vinaigrette, French.

Coke or Pepsi?
Coke. Preferably Diet Coke varietals anymore.

Tell me more, tell me more...

Before I go into my post today, I wanted to take a second to hype up what I feel to be a very important post by one of my brothers in blogger arms, Mikey Miller of Who Do I Have to F&$k to Get Laid. He recently interviewed Jeanne White-Ginder, the mother of Ryan White, the young boy who contracted HIV via a blood transfusion treatment he received for hemophilia back in the early 1980s. Ryan died in 1990, but his mother is still very much involved in HIV/AIDS advocacy.

Mikey's interview is posted on his site in its entirety.

Please take a moment to go check it out. It's an incredible interview.

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Speaking of interviews, what follows is part of an ongoing interview series begun by Kelly and thrown my way by Belinda as part of the BlogHer 2006 Conference. I may be doing it wrong as it seems as though they each interviewed someone else, but I wasn't sure who I'd want to interview or who, in their right mind, would want to interview me. So I'm answering the standard questions myself. If it makes you feel better, pretend that Belinda is interviewing me and the answers are posted on my site instead of hers. Here goes...

1. When did you start blogging and why? Or talk about your blog. What can I learn about you in under five minutes?
Using blogware (in my case, Typepad), I've been blogging since June of last year. However, using whatever means were at my disposal (read: "static HTML"), I've been posting online blog-like entries since early 1998. Yep, more than eight years. That's a long time.

Five minutes may be more time than you really want to spend with me. Trust me on that one. Well, if you decide to stick around the full five minutes, you'll learn that I am a movie, TV, and book nut; I have several regular readers whose friendship I cherish greatly; and I love my wife almost too much for it to be truly healthy. I'd like to think that's what you'd walk away with.

2. How do you use blogging to build friendships?
I read my favorite blogs and learn about people and comment on their sites and hope that they reply if it necessitates one. I also use my favorite blogs to find other new people and wind up on their sites and learn about them. It's the ultimate social network.

3. Who do you read every day, rain or shine?
I'm hoping rain never becomes a factor in my reading. My bloglines subscription is about 87 strong, but this also includes a few news sites and Flickr feeds so I know who has added new photos. I have many that I read on a regular basis including Dave, Karl, SJ (both sites), Johnny, Neil, Dustin, Sandra, Sizzle, Jax, Jacynth, Kim, Mikey, Pauly, Alissa, Carly, Chanakin, DGM, Dagny, RW, Hyperion, Brandon, Eve, Gary, Bec, Sheryl, Elaine, Jill 1, Jill 2, Tracy, Kelly, Ryan, Belinda, Nicole 1, Nicole 2, Nat, Jackie, BA, Sass, Jenny, Hilly, Claire, MM, Rabbit, Dariush, Bre, Lynne, ChickyBabe, Suze, Anomie-Atlanta, and Shane. Then there are also Jack and Xtine, if they'll return from their self-imposed hiatuses. And, I suppose Chase as well (heh heh). You'll notice I'm being much more thorough this time around than the last time this sort of question came up.

That's a lotta damn links. God I hope I remembered everyone. If not, please don't be offended.

While I may not necessarily be on their sites every day, I do read every post as often as they post 'em. There are a few others that I've only recently discovered via some blog affiliations and I'm currently getting to know them as well.

4. Why did you choose to share that piece of yourself in a photograph?
My head? Seemed like a no brainer. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

What'll you do for money honey...

Got this from Nicole and also saw it at Karl's and Dave's as well as others I may be forgetting. It's called Meme-ology.

Grub-ology:

• What is your salad dressing of choice?
  It really depends on the salad and my mood. Sometimes it's bleu cheese, sometimes ranch, sometimes French, other times a nice vinaigrette or Italian, then there's always Caesar.
• What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
  I think Subway and Chipotle constitute "fast food," so I'll choose them.
• What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
  Eduardo's Mexican restaurant in DeKalb, IL.
• On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
  15-25%. Unless you really piss me off; then all bets are off.
• What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
  Rice.
• Name three foods you detest above all others.
  Mushrooms, olives, pickles.
• What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
  Kung Pao chicken.
• What are your pizza toppings of choice?
  Sausage and pepperoni if I'm in a carnivorous mood; spinach otherwise.
• What do you like to put on your toast?
  Peanut butter.
• What is your favorite type of gum?
  Cinnamon. I have no real preference for actual brand.

It doesn't matter who's wrong or right...

I don't know why I'm clustering two into one, but both are memes I like and I want to answer before they become too passe (sp?).

The first is a fun meme I got tagged with by Dustin. With a title like this, how can you not want to participate? The second comes from Chase and, while I wasn't tagged with it, I really liked it. So I stole it... it's mine. Just try and prove otherwise.

Top Five Nouns I Want to Fight: A Meme of Violent Proportions

Here are the instructions, as per Dustin: "We all have those nouns that annoy us to no end and would love to rough up a bit, so here is your chance. Fighting doesn’t mean killing (that’s a separate meme currently circulating Riker’s Island) or even drawing blood. Whether it’s cuss out, bitch slap, or body slam, it really all depends on your own pent up rage.

So here are my five nouns...

Randall Road 
Ran-hell Road is the main thoroughfare that runs north and south near our home and is used to take both Katie and I to our respective places of employment as well as being the most available route for traveling to see Katie's parents. A mere 10 years ago, the greatest level of commerce this road had seen was a Chevrolet dealership. Not anymore. There is more shopping now than you can shake a stick at. We literally never have to leave Randall Road to find absolutely anything we could possibly need (pending availability, I suppose).

Of course, with the convenience of this shopping comes the traffic, the road expansion projects, the accidents, the cop traps, you name it. This road is hell. Fortunately, I can take alternate backwater routes to work. Katie, however, is stuck.

Dumbass Drivers
I know I've covered this extensively before, but it has happened again since that time. A woman was about to turn in front of me not realizing I was right there. In front of her. Not in a blind spot. In a bright red truck. Flashing not-safe-for-work hand signals in her general direction. Dumbshit. A select few drivers should be given the right to install rocket launchers on their vehicles to deal with such problems. I would like to officially volunteer my services to test such a contraption.

Comment Spammers
Admittedly, I was proud when I received my first bit of trackback spam some months ago. I felt it was my own little coming-of-age celebration as a blogger. However, in the last couple months, I have received dozens of trackback spams and quite a bit of comment spam. One particular attack screwed up my comment functionality entirely. Luckily, TypePad makes it very easy to eliminate comments and trackbacks that you don't want. And I do just that on a regular basis.

Despite these problems, I still refuse to activate CAPTCHAs to verify comment validity simply because the TypePad CAPTCHAs are practically impossible to read and I want to make your interaction here at kapgar as painless as possible. Here is an example...

Sadly, this is actually one of the easier Typepad CAPTCHAs I've ever seen. I hate 'em.

Child Pornographers/Statuatory Rapists
How? Why? What? I... I... I am just in shock that somebody can actually perpetrate such horrific acts on children thus stripping them of the childlike exuberance and love of life that is telltale of their age group. I just don't get it. What kind of sick fuck do you have to be to do this? Sorry Dustin, but in these cases, "fighting" does equate with "killing" in my book. Or, at the very least, "severely maiming."

Mac Haters
Most of the people I know who hate Macs are people that have never used them at all or at least not extensively enough to develop a well-rounded opinion. I really cannot respect people like that. They diss and dismiss without really giving it a shot.

Well, I'd like to tell you about a couple friends of mine, both former Mac haters. They bashed and bruised and attempted to sway me of my Mac-loving ways. The continuously espoused the merits of Windows XP and other PC related hardware and software. Last year, one of those Mac haters bought a new computer... it was a Mac dual G5 tower, and he loves it. The other recently announced that when he buys his next computer, it'll be a Mac. These are techie people. Freaks for their computing. Their lives revolve around their computers. And they've both gone back on what they claimed. Hmm...

I, at least, use both on a regular basis. So my hatred of Windows is well rooted in more than a decade and a half of personal experience.

I had to leave you on a slightly lighter note after the severity of #4.

The soundtrack starts, the scene begins...

I've been looking for a movie meme for sometime but have not been having much luck finding a decent one. Until, that is, SJ e-mailed this one to me that she created all by her lonesome. Eventually she will answer her own meme and post it either on The Write Coast or on Listaholic. Until that time, though, I have it here for you. Oh, and I love the title.

Movieographeme

1. What was the very first movie you saw? How old were you, and what did you think of it?
Star Wars when I was two or three years old either in 1977 or '78. I'm assuming I loved it considering my subsequent addiction to all things Star Wars.

2. What do you consider the all-around BEST movie you've ever seen? (Only one, now!) What's so great about it?
I'm going with To Kill A Mockingbird since I can only pick one. Great film with a timeless story and spectacular acting.

3. Now choose the hands-down WORST movie you've ever attempted to watch. (Again, only one!) What makes it such a dud?
I could tick some people off and say Empire Records, but it wasn't the worst. Just bad. But I'll go with Howard the Duck... c'mon, do I really have to detail why? That should be rather obvious.

4. Good, bad or otherwise, pick your all-time FAVORITE movie, and tell us why.
The Shawshank Redemption. There is nothing bad about it. It's one of the only films that can make that claim.

5. Name a movie you've seen so many times you know every line of dialog, and give us your favorite quote from it.
Real Genius - "was it one of those dreams where you're standing in sort of sun-God robes on top of a pyramind with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?... why am I the only person who has that dream?"

6. Who's the one film character you could swear was based on you? How so?
Clark Kent... minus any chance of ever becoming Superman. I'm an awkward, bumbling idiot. I admit it.

7. Ever been told you resemble an actor? Which one?
No actor that I'm aware of. But, back in the days when I had hair, I was told I look a lot like Mancow Muller the shock radio DJ.

8. If you could play any role in a film's remake, which would it be?
Michael Bolton (David Herman) in Office Space. Not sure why.

9. What actor makes you reluctant to see a film, just knowing s/he's in it?
Lately, Tom "the raving lunatic" Cruise

10. Best book-to-movie translation you've seen?
Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness into Apocalypse Now. No, it's not a direct translation of the book -- hell, it's not really all that close at all -- but Francis Ford Coppola did such a fantastic job with it that it deserves recognition. He brought a whole new angle to the interpretation of Conrad's words that I think the author would have been awfully damn proud.

11. Worst book-to-movie translation you've seen?
Michael Crichton's The Lost World (the sequel to Jurassic Park). Crichton was practically forced to write the sequel to Jurassic Park because of contractual obligations, so he did it begrudgingly. And then Steven Spielberg and the writers ditched his words entirely. Really sad because Crichton did, what I thought at the time, to be a great job considering the pressure. The movie is nothing at all like the book.

12. Crappy movie, awesome soundtrack: What film comes to mind?
Grosse Pointe Blank. Another movie I just don't get, but both volumes of the soundtrack rock.

13. What movie do you think is most highly over-rated?
There's Something About Mary. 7.1 out of 10 at IMDb? Are you kidding me? Fargo makes this list as well.

14. Pick a little-known film you feel everyone should see.
Hable Con Ella (trans: "Talk To Her") - a spectacular Spanish film about love and obsession. Additionally, any Star Wars fan should see Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress just to see from where Lucas' derived his inspiration. Some runners up include Narc, The Red Violin, and Requiem for a Dream.

15. If they make a movie about your life, what should they title it? Who should be cast as you?
Misery about a female blogger who, out of obsessive desperation and a need for new posts, kidnaps her favorite blogger (me, played by Eric Bana - I feel he's the closest Hollywood likeness to myself) and hijinx ensue. Yeah, okay, so it's not about my real life, per se. But, really, who knows what kind of wackiness is in store for me in the future.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head...

The Rainy Day Meme stolen from Bec and Karl...

1. If you could be doing what you really want to be doing for a living, what would it be?
Be paid to review movies and books.

2. If you could slap the shit out of any famous person, alive or dead, who would it be?
Ann Coulter, duh.

3. What’s the dumbest decision you’ve made in the past five years?
I don't know that I've made any that, in hindsight, are really that "dumb," per se. They've all seemed to work out despite any initial doubts.

4. Give up one for a year: (good) sex or (good) music.
Well, since most new music sucks the sweat off a dead donkey's shriveled nutsack, I think I could give up the music. But I'd certainly be listening to a boatload of podcasts.

5. Dudes, would you rather have a big dick or a great sense of humor? Ladies, nice tits & ass or common sense?
Do I have to choose? Oh fine, I'll pick nice tits & ass. Woah, wait...

My name is...

I stole this one from Nicole who stole it from her sister. And it's a fun one, so enjoy.

There is only one little change to it that I made, since so many credit ID verifications rely on "mother's maiden name," I think I'll change the relative questions below to my grandmother's maiden name if that's okay with all of you.

What's Your Name?

1. Your Rock Star Name (first pet and current street name):
   Tippee Caldwell
2. Your Movie Star Name (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, favorite candy):
   Bill Hershey
3. Your 'Fly Girl/Guy" Name (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name):
   K. Way (works, doesn't it?)
4. Your Detective Name (favorite color, favorite animal):
   Blue Kitty
5. Your Soap Opera Name (middle name, hometown):
   Wayne Fairport
6. Your Star Wars Name (first three letters of your last name, last three letters of mother's maiden name, first three letters of your pet's name):
   Apgzac Mea or Apgzac Jin (We don't currently have pets, so I went with my two late cats, Meatball and Jinx)
7. Jedi Name (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards):
   Enyaw Cazc
8. Porn Star Name (middle name, street you grew up on):
   Wayne Filkens
9. Superhero Name ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive/want):
   Drive: The Blue Ranger • Want: The Blue Cobra (YES! Either are pretty cool actually)

Steal away!

Who's gonna drive you home...

I know that I've read some memes lately on a few blogs here and there that I've liked and wanted to take part in. However, at the moment, they're avoiding me. That's right, I cannot find the sites where I originally read them. So I guess I will have to create one for today.

I shall call it...

AutoMeme

1. Driver's seat or passenger seat?
2. What was the first car you owned (could have been purchased by someone else)?
3. What is the first car you paid for yourself?
4. How many cars are currently housed in your place of residence? How many are still operable?
5. If money were not a factor, what kind of car would you own?
6. If a police investigation was not a factor, what kind of car would you destroy any time you see it? Why?
7. Does driving in big city traffic fill your veins with adrenaline or your pants with something a bit worse?
8. What is your biggest pet peeve regarding driving and/or your fellow drivers?
9. What's the most expensive traffic ticket you've ever received (could be monetary or jailtime)?
10. What is the name you've given to your current vehicle (be honest, everyone names their car)?

And my answers...

1. Driver's seat, definitely. While I do admit to liking being a passenger in my wife's car from time to time, any time I'm in the passenger seat of my truck, I feel like an alien without a green card.
2. A 1984 Chrysler LeBaron purchased by my parents in 1992. I flipped it a month and a half later. I didn't own another car until late 1997, although I drove one of my dad's old business cars when I was home from college.
3. My red 1997 Ford Ranger that I'm still driving.
4. Two, the Ranger and Katie's 2000 Dodge Stratus.
5. Tough choice, but I think I will have to go with a 1964 Shelby Cobra.
6. Honda Element. The fugliest car I've ever seen. It looks like those old-styled train engineer caps. In a close second is the Pontiac Aztek. Gah! Thank God they killed that line.
7. Adrenaline, baby! I live for competing with taxi drivers. So long as it's not Travis Bickle, I suppose.
8. Idiots of any variety. Slow drivers, drivers that cut you off, drivers more attuned to their cellphones than the job at hand, you name it.
9. $75 for 15 over. No jail time. Sorry to disappoint.
10. A few different names.
    
    • "Lordbug" - a name given by one of my friends since my truck is black and red like a ladybug but far too manly to be given that name; so the Ranger got a variant.
    • "Beast" - with Katie's car being "Beauty." 
    • "Red Ranger" - for obvious reasons.
    • "Anduril" - for all you not so well versed in Lord of the Rings lore, Anduril is the sword that Aragorn carries and he's a Ranger from the west. My truck is a Ranger and he resides with me in Chicago's far west suburbs.

You know the routine. No tags. Just takes.

I want to know what you're thinking...

Stolen from Dave who, in turn, stole it from Neil (not of the Kramer variety; thought I should clarify).

1. What curse word do you use the most? More than likely the four-letter "f" varietal. Although I'm a big fan of words that make use of "a$$" -- a$$hat, a$$hole, jacka$$, a$$face, George Luca$$, etc.
2. Do you own an iPod? I've owned two (3rd gen and the 5th gen video) and Katie owns a 4th gen.
3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most? Probably Jacquie.
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? 5:45 a.m. and then I snooze once or twice before I actually get my lazya$$ up.
5. What color is your room? Two of the opposing walls are a light sage green and the other two walls are a  light cream color.
6. Flip flops or sneakers? Given these two options, sneakers. However, I am a big fan of my Birkenstocks.
7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take it. Don't want to crack the lens.
8. What was the last movie you watched? In theaters, The Sentinel; on DVD, The Presidio. 
9. Do any of your friends have children? Yep.
10. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Yep.
11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? I was once addicted to NyQuil. Giving it up was a bitch.
12. What CD is currently in your CD player? None. That thing hasn't been used in quite a long time.
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Skim. But I do feel the need to indulge my sweet tooth every once in a while.
14. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Yes.
15. Have you ever given someone a hickey? Yes.
16. Who was the last person to call you? A co-worker. Sadly.
17. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? I'm convinced of it.
18. Did you watch cartoons as a child? You betcha.
19. How many siblings do you have? One by blood, two by marriage.
20. Are you shy around the opposite sex? Perhaps initially. But not for long.
21. What movie do you know every line to? Real Genius and Ghostbusters.
22. Do you own any band t-shirts? Yeah, but not any recent ones. Still wishing I bought one from the Depeche Mode show last November, though. Or that old Pearl Jam Che Guevara-inspired shirt from a couple tours ago.
23. What is your favorite salad dressing? No faves, really. But I alternate amongst ranch, Italian, bleu cheese, raspberry vinaigrette, and honey mustard.
24. Do you read for fun? Oh yeah.
25. Do you cry a lot? Not really.
26. Who was the last person to text message you? My wife.
27. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Both.
28. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? Another tattoo eventually.
29. What is the weather like? Grey and dreary.
30. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? If I was single, yes.
31. Is sex before marriage wrong? I don't think so.
32. When was the last time you slept on the floor? About half a year ago.
33. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? Six if at all possible.
34. Are you in love or lust? Love. Very much so.
35. Are your days full and fast-paced? Unfortunately.
36. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Yep. I have the need to.
37. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 32.
38. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Very much so; even though I often make mistakes as well.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes. Great America in Gurnee, IL.
40. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? Depends on the situation.
41. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes. But I only recently developed a taste for it.
42. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? Fall asleep on my side, but am known to wake up on any one of the three listed.
43. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Yes.
44. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Yes. Again, dependent upon the situation. Obviously, I will not hug Dave now.
45. What song did you last sing out loud? Bon Jovi, "Wanted Dead or Alive." Damn you, Chris Daughtry.
46. What is your favorite TV show? Currently, Grey's Anatomy and 24; all-time, Quantum Leap or Cheers.
47. Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with? Jim Henson.
48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Wow, I'm not sure.
49. What one thing do you wish you had? The means to travel whenever and wherever Katie and I want.
50. Favorite lyrics? Not necessarily my absolute favorite, but one of my favorites, "Home" by Depeche Mode.

Steal at will. And have a good rest of your weekend.

Pour your forty out...

How many places was this taken from? Let's see... Dave, Karl, Jax, Brandon, Nicole, Bec, SJ. Anyone else? If I saw this on your site and forgot to give appropriate credit, I apologize. But this meme is making the rounds like wildfire.

A Meme for Adults

1. What's in the glove box of your car?
Nothing particularly interesting... paperwork for the car, an old portable AM/FM radio, a cellphone case, paper, pen, toothpicks. Told ya it was nothing special.

2. Favorite classes in college (or high school):
Western Civilization from 1850 to Present (taught by a Marxist) and Southeast Asian Cultures. Fun times in both.

3. Shampoo brand:
Neutrogena T-Gel, I think. Katie picked it up for me, I just use the stuff.

4. Favorite piece of furniture you own:
Our armchair... you just sink into it.

5. Idea of a really good first date:
One that results in a second date. That is always a good thing.

6. Favorite fruit:
Blueberries.

7. Pick a passage from a favorite book:
I don't remember passages from books, just books that I like and I'll take this opportunity to plug Paul Davidson's The Lost Blogs, particularly the entry by Albert Einstein. All you fellow bloggers will love this one.

8. What would you eat for dinner if it were your last night on Earth?

• Local: Anything Katie makes, but I do love her pasta sauce.
• State: Eduardo's in DeKalb.
• National: The Beach House in Kauai, HI.
• International: Ummm... couldn't really tell ya.

9. Free will or destiny?
I'd like to think we all operate completely on free will, but I tend to think some things are predetermined. What those things are for me remains to be seen.

10. What would you sing at karaoke?
Anything where I keep my mouth shut. You'll thank me.

What the world needs now...

First, an apology. I'm not sure if this will actually affect you or not, but if you've had an influx of posts showing up in your RSS aggregator from me lately, I'm sorry.

I've been cleaning up old posts by recategorizing them. I've noticed that my old category system is not working well. I'm not able to find a bunch of the posts I need to find for the sake of linking in more current posts just because I have no idea how I would have categorized a certain topic. What makes sense as a category now, clearly didn't make sense when I first wrote it. Now I can't find jack on my site. It's just become such a pain in the butt.

And, to add a little salt to the wound, the Technorati search box really doesn't work worth a crap. Anyone else notice that? It's free, but it doesn't do so well. I think that may be going bye bye very soon. I'll keep the profile link, but to the search box, I shall bid adieu.

So everything's being recategorized. And I'm proud of the job I've done so far. Going back to my 2005 posts, I've pared down 21 different categories to just nine. That will make life so much easier. And when my 2005 posts are done, I'll start weed-whacking the '06 stuff.

I'm just tired of all the confusion I've been having finding old stuff here at Kapgar.com. And if I'm having problems, that means that someone else out there is likely having trouble as well.

I'm doing some more cosmetic work around here as well in anticipation of my first blogiversary (sorry, no cool prizes like at Dave's place). I will do a little tweaking of my template and colors a la Secondhand Tryptophan and I'm also in the process of developing a new header banner.

Okay, enough techie talk. How about a quickie meme?

This one comes from Nicole and she took it from some MySpace thingie.

The point of this meme is to perform a Google search with the phrase "[your name] needs" but replace [your name] with, well, your name... obviously. Then list the top 10 results that come back. You may have to look in the title or in the body of the results to get your answer. So here goes...

Kevin Needs:

1. Kevin needs your money - AMEN! PayPal it this way!
2. Kevin needs your help! - see the first one.
3. Kevin needs expert witnesses, research... - apparently I'm in legal trouble.
4. Kevin needs sleep on Flickr - too. many. pictures.
5. Kevin needs help amplifying his message - ummm... okay.
6. Kevin needs sexual and emotional tension - sure, why not?
7. Kevin needs Js help - whatever. This J better be damned good at what s/he does.
8. Kevin needs a picture - I've got plenty; but I prefer to be behind a camera, not in front.
9. Kevin needs his own fan club - AMEN! Who's starting it?
10. Kevin needs to get some! - some what? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Steal if you so desire.

Find one hundred ways...

Here I am going against every fiber of my being and doing a 100 Things meme about myself. Hope you're in it for the long haul...

1. My name is Kevin and I was born in upstate New York.
2. My middle name is the same as my dad's, although he uses it as his first name.
3. I have also lived in Kentucky, Connecticut, Illinois, and Iowa.
4. All told, I've lived in Illinois longer than the other four combined.
5. I hope to always live in Illinois - Chicago is the greatest city on the face of the Earth.
6. Although there are other places I wouldn't mind living if the right opportunity presented itself.
7. I have been employed at my current job for nearly six years.
8. My anniversary is 9/11. The actual unfortunate events of that day marked my first anniversary here.
9. I do many differen tthings here at work and I always joke that my business card should read "renaissance man."
10. Sadly, it does not.
11. I have two college degrees.
12. The skills I earned my degrees for are not used in my current job.
13. In fact, most of what I do was learned OTJ (On The Job).
14. I'm really not sure if that's a testament to my adaptability or a condemnation of my indecisiveness.
15. Funny thing is that there are still many things I'd like to try.
16. I really want to learn some more computing languages to round out my "abilities."
17. I want to be a more capable graphic designer.
18. I would love to be a published writer, outside of what I do at work.
19. I'd also like to fine tune my photographic skills.
20. I'm a licensed EMT-Basic, but I never did anything with my certification.
21. I've got a 4.0 GPA in my M.B.A. program, but I feel like I haven't earned it.
22. I have a degree in Spanish, but barely speak it.
23. Puedo sobrevivir en un pais Hispanohablante.
24. And this knowledge has given me a basic understanding of Italian, French, and Portuguese.
25. I also took some German in college.
26. To quote Stephen Collins (yes, the dad from 7th Heaven) in a recent interview, "I am a jack of all trades and a master of none."
27. I'm a music freak.
28. I will listen to just about anything once.
29. No genre is safe from my prying ears.
30. Oddly, though, I never started to develop a personal taste in music until I was 12 or 13 years old.
31. Despite this love of music, I can't play an instrument to save my life. Not well, at least.
32. Throughout the course of my life, I have played electric and acoustic guitar, electric and upright bass, harmonica, and flutophone... yet none of them particularly well.
33. I prefer to leave the music to the pros.
34. My first concert ever was Kenny Rogers and Crystal Gayle in Lexington, KY, with my parents.
35. I didn't go to my next concert until a half a decade later and it was Huey Lewis and the News with my mom.
36. In 1989, I saw Motley Crue on their Dr. Feelgood tour; it changed me forever and I was a freak for live music shows from that point on.
37. Until the cheap seats started costing about the same as a low-end iPod.
38. Now I just listen to the music on my iPod.
39. I'm also a movie and book whore and run Web sites with reviews of each.
40. While I've gone so far as to upgrade my book review site to blog format, my movie site has fallen a bit behind.
41. I haven't updated the movie site in more than three months and I'm 13 reviews behind.
42. I've run out of ways to say, "this movie is crap."
43. I, seemingly, have not run out of ways to talk about books, though.
44. But I've only written 150 of them as opposed to more than 1,000 movie reviews.
45. I grew up a Star Wars geek and still am to some degree.
46. the prequel trilogy did chill my fandom a bit, although I'm not nearly as opposed to them as some people are.
47. My favorite of the bunch is The Empire Strikes Back.
48. I collected nearly all the action figures as a kid.
49. I still have all the ones I collected.
50. My dad and I used to play a game where I'd be blindfolded and ID the figures by feel.
51. I never got under 95% right.
52. Princess Leia was a dead giveaway.
53. Like most men my age, I have had the gold bikini fantasy.
54. 54 is Brian Urlacher's jersey number.
55. He's a great player, one of the best ever.
56. But I still don't forgive him for dating Paris Hilton... bitch slut whore tramp.
57. I do not suffer from Tourette's Syndrome.
58. Urlacher's Chicago Bears are my favorite team in my favorite sport.
59. I wasn't always a pro football fan, though.
60. My high school football coach ruined the game for me.
61. It wasn't until my father-in-law and brother-in-law took me to my first NFL game (Bears v. Buccaneers in 2000) that I became a fan again.
62. Now I'm a Bears nut; Katie likes watching them, too.
63. But I'm also a closet Pittsburgh fan.
64. Nearly my entire famiily is from the 'Burgh.
65. I was very happy when the Steelers won the last Super Bowl.
66. I'm also a baseball fan and I root for the Cubs.
67. My baseball passion is not what it once was.
68. Probably because the Cubs suck and show no signs of improvement.
69. But I still root for them.
70. I grew up a N.Y. Yankees fan.
71. I was born in New York, so I'm excused.
72. I could give a rat's ass about them anymore.
73. I hate when teams buy championships.
74. I know I've told the story before, but Katie and I met when we were in college.
75. I was her Hall Director. I abused my executive privilege. Heh.
76. We were dating less than three months when we went on our first vacation to San Francisco.
77. Of course, my brother and mother were on the trip with us.
78. We loved S.F. so much, we went back a year later.
79. We're supposed to go again this August. Stay tuned for details.
80. I love Katie and would go to the ends of the Earth with her.
81. Even if she does think I'm cheating on her with our iMac.
82. Admittedly, blogging is my mistress.
83. I enjoy it far more than I ever thought possible. But hey, Katie knits, I blog.
84. In one month, I will have blogged every day for a solid year. Quite a feat in my mind.
85. I've only rarely struggled for a topic.
86. Writer's block is a bitch slut whore tramp.
87. Maybe I do suffer from Tourette's.
88. I've only met one blogger in person - Dave.
89. That may soon change. Details forthcoming.
90. There are a ton more that I want to meet.
91. And I've got some real-life friends who I think would make great bloggers. Gotta work on them.
92. I told myself a while back that I never wanted to do a 100 Things post.
93. I really don't know why I finally relented.
94. I never thought I could find enough to say.
95. Now I feel like I could go on for another 100 Things.
96. Even if these last several are fluff.
97. But isn't this entire post just that? Fluff?
98. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.
99. The other good thing about a post like this is I can use it as a starting point for newcomers to the site.
100. God bless memes.

Did you learn something? Anything?

Was it worth reading through to the end or did you glaze over at about #25? I tried to make it interesting, I swear. But, well, I'm not all that interesting a guy.

Secrets stolen from deep inside...

10 Questions From Jacynth:

Jacynth developed this little beaut. And I'm now jumping on the bandwagon, albeit a little later than most. C'est la vie.

Basically, just answer the questions with as much honesty as you can muster.

1.  If you could live in another era, what would it be?
Victorian England. I know, I know, you just asked for a time, not a place. Well, living in America during the time period of Victorian England does nothing for me. Actually it does as it was the time period with the great Western push and cowboys and whatnot. But this era in England is so completely different. That's why I kinda have to specify a place as well. I've developed a little fascination with the time period. I love the literature from that era, I love the history, I love it all. Plus I want to find out who Jack the Ripper really is.

2.  If you got paid $200 million per year, would you be an Alaskan crab fisher (keep in mind this is one of the deadliest jobs)?
I would do it for a day just so I could have a cool Sebastian Junger-ish story of my own. He's lived such an incredible and enviable life.

3.  Did you eat glue as a child?
Nope. I did like mixing it with hand lotion and spreading it on the back of my hands and letting it dry. The purpose was to scare the bejeezus out of my female classmates who thought I was ripping off my own flesh. Worked like a dream. The lotion made it all stay in one piece instead of shredding in mid peel.

4.  If you could be in a movie, what would it be and why?
What a tough, yet fascinating question. I feel like Brodie Bruce in Mallrats being asked what comic book character he would prefer to be. I would pick something simple like the deck officer, Major Derlin, in The Empire Strikes Back that was played by John Ratzenberger (Cliff Claven from Cheers). Or maybe Admiral Ackbar, right, in Return of the Jedi. He was pretty cool... "It's a trap!"

5.  If you could set up your own mafia ring, what would you call it?
The Quasi-Corsicans? I don't know.

6.  If you had the choice between meeting David Hasselhoff or Tom Cruise, who would you choose and why?
While I would relish the opportunity to be able to prove to Tom Cruise that Scientology is a cult, I know he wouldn't go for it no matter how much evidence is laid before him. On that note, I pick the D-Hoff. He did drive KITT and worked with Donna D'Errico, right?

7.  Would you ever fly Hooters airlines?
Abso-friggin-lutely! And I know Katie would fly it with me! Wings on wings, baby!

8.  Would you rather hear no evil or see no evil?
I'd rather hear no evil. At least this way I could still watch their lips and make up my own dialogue. That would be fun. Especially with Dubya.

9.  If you started a search engine, what would you name it?
Ask Kap! Sounds like "gas cap" or "asshat," doesn't it?

10.  If you had the ability to see five years into the future, would you do it?
I'm afraid I'd be too disappointed with what's happened to the world to want to know. Five years in the past? Sure! Show everybody what will happen if they re-elect Bush and maybe attempt to thwart 9/11. It kinda makes you wonder how the world would differ today if 9/11 never happened.

Well, you know how it goes. Steal away!

Papa's got a brand new bag...

I decided I wanted a unique meme to do today, so I did a Google BlogSearch and found this little jobber from a blogger named Helen in Malaysia.

It's the What's In My Bag meme and your mission, should you choose to accept it (c'mon, with M:I-3 coming out this weekend, you didn't see that one coming a mile away?), is to list all the crap you carry in your bag. Be it a purse, messenger bag (like me), backpack, briefcase, etc.

Here goes...

What's In My Bag:

1. The book I'm currently reading - Marley & Me by John Grogan
2. The next book I plan to finish reading - The Lost Blogs by Paul Davidson; I tend to keep a back-up book in my bag in case I finish one and need something else to start
3. Two books on CSS coding
4. Two CDs of photos from my SLR shoots around town
5. A package of clear plastic screen covers for PDAs, iPods, etc.
6. My lucky pen/pencil/PDA stylus
7. Two USB thumbdrives
8. A thumbdrive extension cable
9. Post-It flags - those things are ridiculously handy
10. Extra pencil leads and erasers
11. Business cards - no, they do not read "Overlord of Hell"... damn
12. A Metra train schedule, despite the fact I do not commute to work by train
13. One or two direct deposit pay stubs from work, maybe more
14. My Palm Pilot
15. A tin from Altoids Soft Chews that I use to transport my iPod earbuds so they don't get knotted, tangled, or torn
16. A little bit of paperwork
17. A clipboard
18. One extra pen
19. My passport and I have no idea why; I think I used it for ID one time and just never took it out of my bag

That's a lot of crap. Time to clean.

Well, you all know how it goes around here... no tags. Steal at will.

If I was a rich girl, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...

I got this one from Suze at Work in Progress... who, in turn, got it from Danigirl at Postcards from the Mothership.

Are you spoiled?
You are if you can BOLD 40 or more of the following:

Do you have...

• your own cell phone - well, yeah... do people actually share 'em?
• a television in your bedroom
• an iPod - two, but I'm only going to count them as one
• a photo printer
• your own phone line - well, we own our own place, so I guess this would constitute our own phone line
• TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
• high-speed internet access
• a surround sound system in bedroom
• DVD player in bedroom
• at least a hundred DVDs
• a childfree bathroom - can't really count this one as all our bathrooms are "childfree" for the time being
  
• your own in-house office - it's a combination guest bedroom/office; but it gets used more as a guest bedroom
• a pool
• a guest house
• a game room
• a queen-size bed
• a stocked bar - does a cabinet with a half dozen bottles count?
  
• a working dishwasher
• an icemaker
• a working washer and dryer
• more than 20 pairs of shoes
• at least ten things from a designer store
• expensive sunglasses
• framed original art (not lithographs or prints)
• Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
• a multi-speed bike
• a gym membership
• large exercise equipment at home
• your own set of golf clubs
• a pool table
• a tennis court
• local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
• your own pair of skis
• enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
• a boat
• a jet ski
• a neighborhood committee membership
• a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
• wealthy family members
• two or more family cars
• a walk-in closet or pantry
• a yard
• a hammock
• a personal trainer - we did, but not anymore; and only because they are our friends and gave us a big discount
• good credit
• expensive jewelry - not me, but Katie; and it's not that expensive; not exactly Allen Iverson grade bling here (see right)
• a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
• at least $100 cash in your possession right now - sheyah, right
  
• more than two credit cards bearing your name
• a stock portfolio
• a passport
• a horse
• a trust fund - I did, but it paid for some of my college
• private medical insurance - when they say "private," I'm assuming this means "outside what you're offered at work," right?
  
• a college degree, and no outstanding student loans

Do you:

• shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week - only when shopping for music at the iTunes Music Store
• do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
• pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes
• go on weekend mini-vacations - not yet, but soon
  
• send dinners back with every flaw
• wear perfume or cologne (not body spray) - very rarely
  
• regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon
• have a job but don't need the money OR stay at home with little financial sacrifice
• pay someone else to cook your meals
• pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
• regularly pay someone else to drive you
• expect a gift after you fight with your partner

Are you:

• an only child
• married/partnered to a wealthy person - we both wish
• baffled/surprised when you don't get your way

Have you:

• been on a cruise
• traveled out of the country
• met a celebrity
• been to the Caribbean
• been to Europe
• been to Hong Kong
• been to Hawaii
• been to New York - born there; that shouldn't count
• eaten at the space needle in Seattle
• been to the Mall of America - never struck me as "exotic"
• been on the Eiffel tower in Paris
• been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
• moved more than three times because you wanted to
• dined with local political figures
• been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast

Did you:

• go to another country for your honeymoon
• hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
• take riding or swimming lessons as a child - swimming through the local park district; that, too, shouldn't really count
• attend private school
• have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you - I think some friends and I went and saw Good Morning, Vietnam; not really worthy of MTV's My Super Sweet 16 or anything.

Missed the cutoff by four. Phew! And some of those are even questionable.

As always, no tags; but feel free to steal.

There we were, just we 3...

Stole this one from SJ at Chronic Listaholic. I seem to prefer to do memes on weekends. Works nicely.

Three schools you went to:
Although there are a lot more than just three in the grand scheme of things, I'll keep it to just major universities for simplicity's sake

1. Iowa State University
2. Northern Illinois University
3. Aurora University

Three things in your purse/wallet:

1. Bank card, credit cards, etc.
2. Engagement photo of Katie and me
3. A Firewire sticker I tore off an iPod cable (don't ask)

Three things you do when you're really stressed:

1. Blog
2. Eat (not the healthiest response, I'm sure)
3. Work out (considering #2, this is probably a good thing)

Three favorite places to shop at:

1. Border's Books and Music
2. Best Buy
3. iTunes Music Store

Three places you go to on a daily basis:

1. TypePad (how I bring you all these wonderful posts; "wonderful" is being used very loosely)
2. Bloglines (so I can see who of all you, my favorite bloggers, have made updates to your sites)
3. Gmail (now that I no longer need to say "Hotmail")

Three favorite fruits:

1. Blueberries
2. Bananas
3. Mango

Three names you go by:

1. Kevin
2. kapgar
3. garrrrrrrr

Three of your everyday foods:

1. Skim milk
2. Granola or protein bar of some sort
3. Orange juice (if available)

Three things you are wearing right now:

1. Warm-up pants
2. Gym T-shirt
3. New Balance running shoes

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:

1. Eyes
2. Lips
3. Legs

Three places you want to go on vacation to:

1. San Francisco
2. Seattle
3. Kauai

Three people you see everyday:

1. Katie
2. Not really anybody else "every" day

As per usual, no tags. But steal it if you're so inclined.
 

People are strange when you're a stranger...

I was tagged with this meme by Chase who was, in turn, tagged by Dawn at WriteWingBlog.

Rules:

1. Write a few weird/strange/quirky things about yourself, the total number is up to you.
2. Post it in both my comments here and on your blog (if you do memes).
3. Leave a comment on their blog telling them they've been tagged (if you, unlike me, like to tag).

My weird/strange/quirky things:

1. I'm not terrified of balloons, but I refuse to drive a car in which balloons are in the main portion of the car (I had a bad balloon-related, car-flipping accident the summer before my senior year in high school).
2. I have brown hair (although it is becoming progressively more grey speckled), yet my goatee has a distinct red tint to it.
3. I only recently overcame my propensity to buy DVDs of movies I've never seen but was convinced I would like. Now I rarely buy DVDs at all. Even of movies I have seen and liked.
4. It would probably take two trips to move all my personal crap out of my office. Good thing I don't commute via train.
5. Everything on my desk has its own place and it drives me nuts when coworkers move my stuff and don't move it back (sorry if you're reading this, D; but it's the truth).
6. I constantly wish the world would return to a barter system of doing business.
7. Although I say I'm unaffected by celebrity, apparently my actions, in their presence, defy my words. A friend said I geeked out when I met Kevin Smith. Go fig. And I'm a sucker for a good signing opportunity.
8. I'm terrible at sports despite my love of them.
9. For years, I was a diehard Yankee fan living in the Midwest. Not a bandwagoneer, mind you. I was a fan since their crap days in the mid-80s (Don Mattingly is my favorite player of all time). And once they started becoming the perennial favorite, I dropped them entirely.
10. I pay better attention in meetings when I'm playing a game on my Palm Pilot. I have found that my brain is more awake and aware. Even though I look like I'm not paying attention, I take more away from meetings when I'm playing a simple puzzle game like NoNo or Sudoku than when I pretend to "look interested." You just can't scoff at alternative learning methods.

As per usual, no tags. Steal it if you will.

I'm gonna see that you be back home in thirty days...

I stole this from Nicole because I like it. And there ain't a damn thing you can do to stop me! And she stole it from some ridiculously long line of family members. Don't ask.

Here are the rules: Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. The results can be pretty funny.

Unlike Nicole, I did not use my entire music collection for this. Just what was on my iPod at this point in time. I'd be afraid of what would happen if I had a catalog 46 GB big to "help" me through this one. I figured 15 GB/3,000 songs is enough of a selection.

30 Songs:

1. How am I feeling today? Please Please Please (Fiona Apple)
2. Will I get far in life? The Real World (Jesus Jones) - not much hope there, eh?
   
3. What's your current state of mind? To Have and To Hold (Depeche Mode)
   
4. How do my friends see me? Crosscut Saw (The Freddy Jones Band)
5. Where will I get married? Good Times Gone (Nickelback) - Hey! That's not nice!
   
6. What is your view of marriage? What is Life (George Harrison) - well, at least it wasn't the last one.
   
7. What is my best friend's theme song? Parachute (Guster) - not good considering he just had his second child.
   
8. What is the story of my life? Behind the Wheel (Depeche Mode)
   
9. What is/was high school like? Hand Me Down (The Wallflowers)
   
10. How can I get ahead in life? Vaporub (Bob Mould) - Yeah, baby!
    
11. What is the best thing about me? Turn of the Century (Pete Yorn)
    
12. What is today going to be like? Daisy Duke (Rooney) - What? Catherine Bach? Where?
    
13. What is in store for this weekend? Real Love (Smashing Pumpkins) - see comment #10, minus Vaporub.
    
14. Describe my parents? Why Don't You Come Over (Garbage) - NOOOOO!!
    
15. Describe my grandparents? On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Propellerheads) - Bwahahahaha! Nano the spy!
    
16. How is my life going? Ain't Ever Goin' Back (John Hiatt)
17. What song will they play at my funeral? Cockamamie Business (George Harrison) - how eerily appropriate.
    
18. How does the world see me? Think About It (Fleetwood Mac)
    
19. Will I have a happy life? Tell What You See (The Von Bondies)
    
20. What do my friends really think of me? Careful (Guster) - I could've told you that.
    
21. Do people secretly lust after me? Fashion (David Bowie) - there's hope in that one.
    
22. How can I make myself happy? Agent Orange (Depeche Mode) - there are a few I'd give this to.
    
23. What should I do with my life? Locomotive Breath (Ian Anderson) - does this mean I should be a train engineer or have chronic halitosis?
    
24. Will I ever have children? Asking Me Lies (The Replacements) - yikes!
    
25. What is some good advice for me? Mexican Radio (Wall of Voodoo)
    
26. How will I be remembered? Banana Pancakes (Jack Johnson) - that's it!?!?
    
27. What is my signature dancing song? Revolution Rock (The Clash) - I was wondering if I'd ever get anything even remotely heavier.
    
28. What is my current theme song? Shame of the Nation (New Order) - well, let's take a look at our government, shall we?
    
29. What do people think my current theme song is? Jealous Again (The Black Crowes)
    
30. What type of men/women do you like? Best of You (Foo Fighters) - six Foo albums on my iPod and shuffle waits to the end.

I really would have liked to see some of the Poison, Crue, Warrant, etc., that I have on my Pod, but apparently "shuffle" had other ideas in mind.

You know my rules, no tagging. But feel free to steal it if you want to.

They call me Mimi...

Well, I thought it might be a cute title considering I'm posting two memes in here. Get it? Mimi=Meme. Okay, maybe it was cooler in my head than it is here. Plus, you have to know Rent to really get it.

So here are a pair of music memes from Chase and S.J.

Tickle Your Pickle:
As described by Chase, "list seven songs you're into right now. Old, new, whatever... just whatever is ticklin' your picklin' at the moment."

So here goes:

• Sugar, "The Slim" from Copper Blue
• Jane's Addiction, "Superheroes" from Strays (you may recognize this song as the theme from HBO's Entourage)
• Kris MacQueen, "If I Lift My Hands" from BrokenHearted Palace
• Queensryche, "I'm American" from the forthcoming Operation: Mindcrime II
• Pearl Jam, "World Wide Suicide" from their forthcoming self-titled album
• Guster, "The New Underground" from the One-Man Wrecking Machine single
• Jeff Buckley, "Hallelujah" from Grace (Damn you, Johnny; I had forgotten all about this until I read your blog)

How are those?

Band for a Lifetime:
Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.

I'm gonna try this out with my boys, the Foo Fighters. Luckily I have my iPod loaded up with all their albums and even a few rare singles.

1. Are you male or female?
"Weenie Beenie" (it was the best I could do)

2. Describe yourself:
"Exhausted"

3. How do some people feel about you:
"My Hero"... not likely... probably more like "M.I.A."

4. How do you feel about yourself:
"Good Grief"

5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
"Stacked Actors" (tell me that one's not perfect)

6. Describe your current significant other:
"Miracle"

7. Describe where you want to be:
"New Way Home"

8. Describe how you live:
"Overdrive"

9. Describe how you love:
"Best of You" (the title sounds more positive than the song really is; so let's go with how it sounds)

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish:
"See You"

11. Share a few words of wisdom:
"Another Round"

12. Now say goodbye:
"Come Back"

Those were fun!

As per usual, no tagging. But if you'd like to steal them, feel free.

I would die 4 u...

I've got another meme for you today.

While I will admit that this is awfully similar to the sevens meme I did a couple weeks ago, there are several new categories in this meme that I think are pretty interesting. Plus, this is the first one that my non-blogging friend, Allison, has sent me so I felt compelled. Also, she gave me a shout out in her answers that made me feel pretty good. Maybe it was a suck up to make me actually do this, but still and all the same.

And, how weird is this... two memes each with a Prince song as the title. Strange.

Fours:

Four jobs you have had in your lifetime

• Food service (waiter at Baker's Square and Barista at Starbuck's)
• Hall Director, R.A., Hall Council President, and Front Desk staffer at Northern Illinois University
• Web developer and graphic designer
• Shoe salesman at Sportmart

Four movies you would watch over and over:

• The Shawshank Redemption
• The Empire Strikes Back
• Fletch
• Real Genius

Four places you have lived:

• Rochester, NY
• Lexington, KY
• Bristol, CT
• Geneva, IL
• The only other places were Naperville, IL; Ames, IA; and DeKalb, IL

Four TV shows you love to watch:

• Grey's Anatomy
• 24
• NUMB3RS
• How I Met Your Mother (can't get enough of Neil Patrick Harris)

Four places you have been on vacation:

• San Francisco (twice)
• Hawaii (twice)
• Mexico (twice), Grand Cayman, and Belize (on a cruise)
• Florida (too many times to count)

Four websites I visit daily:

• Blogography/A Mind Awake/Internal Monoblog (there are many other blogs as well, but these are my first three)
• Hotmail/Gmail
• Aurora University (I designed and maintain the thing)
• Typepad (so I can blog)

Note: this was Allison's #4 that I liked so much... "Hotmail and/or Kapgar.com (to read the gossip pages/Kevin's daily blog... I do have the occasional vice)"

I like being a "vice."

Four of my favorite foods:

• Anything that Katie makes (and I do mean that)
• Texas Chimichangas at Eduardo's in DeKalb, IL
• Macaroni and cheese
• Grilled cheese sandwiches (mmm... samitch!)

Four places I would rather be right now:

• Home
• Movie theater
• Bookstore
• Electronics store

I'm going to throw an additional category on here for good measure...

Four bands I can't live without:

• INXS
• Foo Fighters
• Depeche Mode
• The Replacements

Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond:
You know my rules, I do not tag. But if you want to steal this, go ahead. Free for the taking.

One day your seven will die...

First, I'd like to thank all of you who sent your virtual well wishes my way yesterday. It really was an incredible feeling to read how much everyone cared. For the record, I do feel better. Not entirely over it, but much better. Thanks again.

On to today's post...

Alissa hit me up with this meme that I had read earlier at Ms. Sizzle Says, Mikey's blog (even though he did it as fives instead of sevens, and played with the categories a bit), and Bre's site. I wasn't going to do it, but then thought "why not" as I read Alissa's take on it only to find that she tagged me with it. How fortuitous, eh?

Sevens -

Seven Things to Do Before I Die:

1. Visit Europe
2. Skydive
3. Eat a Chicago-style hot dog
4. Launch my damn book-review blog
5. Become a PADI-certified SCUBA diver
6. Enjoy 15 minutes of fame; doing what I don't know
7. Write a book

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. Wink
2. Read lips
3. Imagine my life without Katie
4. Stay away from my Typepad stats and e-mail
5. Not listen to music or podcasts while working
6. Eat a Chicago-style hot dog (ironic, considering the first category, but I feel I must)
7. Come up with a topic for the book I want to write

Seven Things That Attract Me To Blogging:

1. The people I meet
2. The immediacy of comment feedback
3. Being able to speak my mind on anything
4. A distraction from the everyday
5. Reading other blogs
6. Having Bloglines tell me when a site is updated instead of having to remember for myself
7. Stress relief (when I don't have writer's block, that is)

Seven Things I Say Most Often:

1. "Whatever"
2. "Uh-huh, sure"
3. "It's your choice"
4. "I love you"
5. "English speak well very I"
6. "I was reading on the Web today" (bad habit, I admit)
7. "You'll never guess..."

Seven Books I Love:

1. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore
2. Different Seasons by Stephen King
3. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (AKA Blade Runner) by Philip K. Dick
4. Gates of Eden by Ethan Coen
5. Dune by Frank Herbert
6. Last Breath: Cautionary Tales From the Limits of Human Endurance by Peter Stark
7. Battle Royale by Koushun Takami

Seven Movies/DVDs That I Watch Over and Over and Over Again:

1. The Empire Strikes Back
2. Office Space
3. National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4. Fletch
5. The Shawshank Redemption
6. Tombstone
7. Real Genius

Seven People I Want To Join In:
Okay, I never "tag" people with memes anymore as I don't want them to feel obligated. But if you're looking for a cheap, quick post, feel free to steal it.

99 ways to die (we're not ready to see you yet)...

I found this post on Roveberg.  His instructions are to use Google to discover how you and, perhaps, others are going to die.  Basically, just type the following line -- "[your name] was killed by" -- in Google.  Put your first name only in where appropriate and use the quotation marks.

Sound morbid?  Well, yes, it is.  But I am one morbidly curious bastard.  So, of course, I checked it out.

Here's what I got...

"Kevin was killed by drug-dealers because his brother had failed to pay a debt" - thanks for getting my back, bro.  Really appreciate it.

"Kevin was killed by the Chicago police—shot in the back of the leg and head" - actually, the CPD somehow wound up in several of the results involving my death and that's just on the first page.  Really makes me want to never visit the city again.  And it's even creepier because I live so close to Chicago yet never prompted Google to search for Chicago-based results and here it found them anyway.

Both of these were the first result of my search.

A little further down the results page, though, we find...

"Kevin was killed by an alien that got loose in the facility" - alrighty then.  I apparently now work in Area 51.

But why end my fun there?  I figured, let's take this a bit further.  I decided to look up several family members and friends/bloggers.  Just in case you don't want to read them, avoid the extended post.

I figure the odds be fifty/fifty, I might have somethin' to say...

Although she didn't really "tag" me with this meme, per se, SJ's belief that I would be the most likely to steal it left me feeling obligated.  So here's a new meme courtesy of SJ, which, in turn, is courtesy of Kazza.

Ten Questions (times five):

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:55 a.m.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Personally, neither.  As a gift, diamonds.
3. What was the last film you saw at the theater? Rumor Has It. Even though our overall theater-going is down, we saw a flurry of films over Christmas.  And, I have yet to review this one.  I'm slacking again.
4. What is your current favorite TV show? 24.  The ticker below is marking Katie's and my progress toward completing all four of the original seasons before this Sunday's start of season 5.
5. What did you have for breakfast? A carrot cake Clif Bar.  I was in a hurry.
6. What is your middle name? Wayne.  Also my dad's middle name.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? It all depends on my mood, but I typically like Mexican, Chinese, and Italian.
8. What foods do you dislike? Mushrooms, pungent onions, pickles, etc.
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? I prefer boring old normal chips.  Unless its Pringles in which case I prefer salt and vinegar.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? "Ultra" by Depeche Mode.  Katie's been listening to a lot of Depeche Mode lately, as well.  I've also been listening to Guster's "Lost and Gone Forever" quite a bit.
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Ford Ranger.
12. Favorite sandwich? Whatever lunchmeat I happen to have around.  Otherwise, ham/turkey subs at Subway.
13. What characteristics do you despise? Hypocrisy is the worst.
14. Favorite item of clothing? Jeans.  It seems so rare that I get to wear them anymore.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Australia and Ireland are very high on my list right now.
16. What color is your bathroom? North/south walls are a very light khaki while the east/west walls are a light blue.
17. What color pants are you wearing? Khaki.
18. Where would you like to retire to? Haven't thought that far in advance other than the fact that I would simply like to retire, period.
19. Favorite time of the day? Sunset.
20. What was your most memorable birthday? Not in a good way... It was my 25th and Katie was in my apartment sick while my brother and I and some friends went out to "ride the rail" at Molly's in DeKalb, Illinois.  We were blitzed. My brother nearly got in a fight with one of my good friends on the way home.  And I passed out in a bathtub with Katie cursing and swearing my existence because she was already sick taking care of a drunken fool.
21. Where were you born? Rochester, New York.
22. What’s the last thing you ate? A miniature Take 5 candy bar.  I needed a sugar fix.
23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Midnight blue.
24. Favorite flower? I really liked the one that Katie and I saw at Ben Pao's in Chicago.  Rex Enigma thinks it's a spider mum.  I'll have to take his word for it.
25. What fabric detergent do you use? I think it's All right now.
26. Coke or Pepsi? Coke, normally.  Pepsi when they offer free songs on iTunes (I have no loyalty when it comes to free stuff).
27. Do you wish on stars? It's been a while, but, yes.
28. What is your shoe size? 10.5-11.5 depending on the shoe manufacturer.
29. Do you have any pets? Nope.
30. Last person you talked to on the phone? My wife, Katie.
31. What did you want to be when you were little? An astronaut or a firefighter.
32. What are you supposed to be doing right now? I prefer not to say so as not to incriminate myself.
33. What do you first notice about someone? The tone of their voice and I adjust my posture and facial expressions accordingly.
34. Siblings? One brother.  Now I have two brothers-in-law and one future sister-in-law.
35. What was your favorite toy as a child? Star Wars and G.I. Joe figures when I was playing with friends.  Legos otherwise.
36. Summer or winter? It's easier for me to stay warm in the cold than it is to stay cool in the heat.  So, winter.
37. Hugs or kisses? Hugs are nice because you can tell if someone really means it.
38. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
39. Who is most likely to steal this meme? No obligation here, but I would be curious what Sandra would say.
40. Who is least likely to steal this meme? Jenny.  I don't think she digs memes.
41. Living arrangements? Townhome purchased December, 2004.
42. When was the last time you cried? The ending of The Family Stone.  Yes, I can be a sentimental sap sometimes.
43. What is under your bed? A few flat storage boxes for extra clothes.
44. How many countries have you visited? Five: U.S., Mexico, Canada, Cayman Islands, and Belize.
45. In how many cities have you lived? Eight: Fairport, NY; Lexington, KY; West Hartford, CT; Bristol, CT; Naperville, IL; Ames, IA; DeKalb, IL; and Geneva, IL.
46. Favorite movie of all time? The Shawshank Redemption.
47. Mountains or beach? Mountains.  I love the seclusion and the adventure.  Although I'm a big scuba diving freak so this is a tough one to answer.
48. The current friend you have known the longest? That I remain in touch with?  Frank.  Known him since junior high although we lost touch for a few years during college.
49. Full names of your potential kids? I refuse to answer this on grounds the names may be stolen.
50. Usual bedtime? Between 11 p.m. and midnight.

And, since I forgot to post the ticker yesterday...

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Episodes Elapsed: 43 (now in season 2) Episodes Remaining: 53 Season 5 Premiere: Jan. 15 (4 days) Official 24 Web site