kapgar

Man came by to hook up my cable TV...

Here I am coming at you with my first year-end "Best of" list and this first one will be dedicated to the fine art of small-screen production... the television awards.

When I've done television awards in the past, they usually occured around the end of the traditional TV season and I would call them the Primetime TV Kappy Awards (2007 | 2006). Katie and I would work together to come up with winners in several categories and provide witty banter justifying our picks.

However, since the timing of the awards is changing, so is the format. This year, we've cut down the number of awards mostly by eliminating the distinction between rookie and veteran as well as actor and actress. We've also cut out the banter. Katie and I were discussing this on the road and didn't feel like recording our discussions, especially since they weren't nearly as funny as in the past. I guess we're still a little bitter about some show cancellations and a few others that are being thrown around.

So, without further ado, here are the Primetime TV Kappy Awards for 2008!

Acting Awards:

• Best Dramatic Acting - Jon Hamm, "Don Draper," Mad Men although I also really like Harvey Keitel as "Lt. Gene Hunt" on Life on Mars (why can't I find the British version on Netflix?).
  
• Best Comedic Acting - Neil Patrick Harris, "Barney Stinson," How I Met Your Mother
• Best Dramatic 1-2 Punch (although, together, they are arguably quite comedic as well) - G.W. Bailey and Tony Denison, "Lieutenants Provenza and Flynn," The Closer
• Best Comedic 1-2 Punch - Kaley Cuoco and Jim Parsons, "Penny and Sheldon," The Big Bang Theory
• Best Dramatic Ensemble - (tie) Criminal Minds and The Closer
• Best Comedic Ensemble - The Office
• Best Comeback Role (after being away from a significant TV role for a while) - (tie) Benjamin Bratt, "William Banks," The Cleaner and Chi McBride, "Emerson Cod," Pushing Daisies
• Best Recurring Guest Role - Barry Corbin and Frances Sternhagen, "Clay and Willie Ray Johnson," The Closer
  
• Best One-Off Guest Role - Wil Wheaton, "Floyd Hansen," Criminal Minds
• Dark Alley Award (not that this should need an explanation, but it's the person you'd least like to meet in a dark alley) - Michael C. Hall, "Dexter Morgan," Dexter although a close second would go to Adam Baldwin as "John Kasey" in Chuck.
  

Show Awards:

• Best Drama - Mad Men
• Best Comedy - How I Met Your Mother
• Best Show Canceled Too Soon - (tie) Pushing Daisies and Eli Stone
• Biggest Drop-Off in Quality - Ugly Betty, is anybody else tired of how condescending Betty is becoming? If it weren't for the spectacular supporting cast, I'd probably have given up on this show already.
• Most Overstayed Welcome - My Name is Earl
• Lost in Left Field (a show that has lost its way and needs some guidance, or major restructuring) - Grey's Anatomy, the Denny ghost lovin' thing? Blech!

Network Awards:

• Best Network - any extended cable network with cool original programming like USA, TNT, TBS, and AMC.
• Worst Network - ABC, for killing some shows too soon and giving too much of a lifeline to others.

Bear in mind, these are based on the shows that Katie and I watch. And, while we watch a lot of shows, it's a small percentage of what's available. So let us know how you would amend these awards.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Katie received one of these iHome iH9 iPod alarm clocks from my bro and SiL for Christmas. It's pretty cool and she was stoked to finally be able to listen to some real music as her alarm as opposed to the crappy reception we get from the AM/FM radio in our current alarm clock.

Last night, though, we discovered a little glitch. After setting her alarm, it would make this little beep every so often and we'd see the alarm icon turn off and then turn back on. It didn't dawn on me until several minutes later that the on/off switching was happening as I was fast forwarding or hitting the flashback rewind or pause buttons on our TiVo remote. Yeah, it would seem the iHome clock radio and our TiVo share a frequency.

I think we're going to have to be much more attentive when we go to bed at night to make sure her alarm is still on.

Slip slidin' away...

It's one of those mornings where I'm both upset and grateful. No, not because of the holiday season, but because of what did and could have happened this morning on my way to work.

If you read any local Chicago news this morning, officials are calling it one of the worst road icing events they've ever seen. Hundreds of accidents reported by 8 a.m. It's that bad.

On my route to work, I was trying to turn off one road to get to the highway in to work. I'd already hit a couple small ice patches by this time but recovered without a problem. I've owned my truck long enough to know how to get out of just about anything. We've got a bit of a symbiotic relationship going... we can feel each other (no, not in that way). However, when I hit this turn lane, I could tell the plows and salt trucks had done nothing at all. I lost complete control of my truck for the first time. The pedals did nothing. The steering wheel may as well not have even existed. I just slid. And I had only been driving about 10-15 MPH into that lane.

I kept sliding. Right up to the car in front of me. At the last second, something shifted and made me drift into a giant snowbank on the side of the road.

While I was ticked that I lost control. I was entirely thankful that I not only didn't hit the car in front of me, nor the other car stuck in an extension of the snowbank, but also that the cars behind me were far enough away that they could avoid my lane and allowed me room to back out of the snow and onto the road.

No damage to the Beast whatsoever, though. Phew!

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Katie got me a camera bag for my new Sony! And it's pretty awesome. It's a Tamrac shoulder sling bag. Perfect fit for the camera with my 35-70mm lens on it. Plus some compartments for cables and chargers and a pocket for extra memory cards and whatnot. Also, it's built for add-on components like a smaller pouch just for my telephoto lens, etc. I love it.

And I got another gift that is going to assist my photo and music loving immensely... a 500GB Apple Time Capsule. Sure, I could've requested just any external hard drive for our computers. But, considering we're probably buying Katie a MacBook very soon, having this Time Capsule available for her to use with Time Machine on it will be very nice. I also have an additional $100 in Apple Cash, which I'm debating using to upgrade the Time Capsule to the full 1TB jobber. I think I'd have to pay another $100 on top of all this. Good idea to plan for the future?

Oh tidings of comfort and joy...

We interrupt this week-long 5Q Extravaganza to bring you... SNIPPET WEDNESDAY!!

FreeLee
I am an unabashed fan of Amos Lee. Have been since Katie and I first saw him perform live as the opening act for Norah Jones some years back. And I'm doing my part to promote his fantastic music by blogging when he releases new music or material. Well, he now has a five-track Live Session EP available on iTunes. While I would highly recommend just going over there and buying it outright for yourself (it's only $4.49 and it's iTunes Plus, meaning that it's higher bitrate and DRM free), I'm going to give away a copy here. The deal? Leave a comment saying you want to be entered in the contest. The catch? You have to be an iTunes user as this is an iTunes-exclusive album. Come next Monday at whatever time I decide to write my post, I'll close the contest, assign numbers to the entrants, and use some number randomizer to pick one of you to receive a copy. That simple. And, no, this is not limited to just people who have commented here before. Maybe this will serve as a bit of a delurker carrot-on-a-stick if you will. C'mon out and play!

Blogrolling
The third-party Blogrolling service has now been down for more than two months. Apparently they were hacked and are both fixing their security holes and upgrading to what they're calling Blogrolling 2.0 all in one fell swoop. And it's pissing those of us who still use the service (because we're too damned lazy to just handcode our rolls) off severely. I have a ton of people I need to add and some I just discovered desperately need to be updated. My blogroll still has Hilly's old Typepad URL for chrissake! So any of you more recent reads, don't think I'm dissing you. I'm not. I just can't make an update. If it's not fixed soon, I may have no choice but to handcode. I'll give them until the New Year or until I'm so inclined to do it myself, whichever comes first.

Faced
Just when you thought Facebook and other social media services were our friends comes this little bit out of Australia about a couple who were in default on their mortgage. After months of trying to find them and serve them with legal documents about their situation, lawyers convinced a judge to allow them to serve these docs, legally binding, via their Facebook accounts. The one condition was that they couldn't be posted in a publically visible area of their profile. Wow, if ever there was support for Miss Britt's belief that Facebook and MySpace were evil and used for stalking (listen to the episode dated 12/03/2008), this is it. Tip for anyone hiding from authorities of any sort... don't keep using social media accounts while on the lam, 'tay?

Cube'd
I found my ideal Christmas gift. It has to be one of the coolest things ever... the Cube Clock. Basically, it's a cube-shaped clock made to look like a Rubik's Cube. No, it doesn't have the full twistability (is that a word?) of its inspiration, but it does twist in at least the top layer. If you look at the top right cubit, you'll see a sticker indicating time (facing), alarm (right cubit), calendar (not visible), and temperature (also not showing). Simply, whichever of these panels is aligned above the clock face controls which mode the clock is in. And the three cubits underneath the display help with settings. I wonder if you just smack the top of the cube for snooze.

Blago
Okay, I'm sure you're all sick to death of me ranting and raving about busted Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, but I have one more thing I need to share with you. And I'm sure when you hear that it was sent to me by everyone's fave Sheila over at Charm School Reject, you'll likely read attentively. And it's also sort of a holiday song. Sort of.

"Blagojevich" by John McHugh
(to the tune of "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen")

Get packin', Rod Blagojevich
The state's in disarray

The Tribune wants you unemployed
At least by Christmas Day.
The TV pundits want your head
Could there by pay to play?
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Save Illinois!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Good riddance Rod Blagojevich
Your Elvis look's inane,
The Senate's mad, so's Lisa's dad
You drive us all insane.
Our transit's broke, the state's a joke,
The Tollway's one big pain.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Save Illinois!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Good luck old Rod Blagojevich
The feds have quite a place
Fitzegerald's poked his nose around
And if he has a case,
George Ryan's moving stuff around
Creating extra space.
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Save Illinois!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Until next week, I bid thee adieu!

I'm back in the saddle again...

After a two-week hiatus during which he saw the world, reinvigorated his persona, and bedded many other blog theme days, Snippet Wednesday makes his triumphant return!

Razr
Yeah, I'm back on my Razr for a little while as I had to send my Nokia E71 back England way yesterday. I may have griped about a few issues I had with it here and there, but it is certainly a great phone and I will miss having it around. Dammit.

Comments
So did you all notice anything new about the comments here? 

Yep, Typepad implemented a new comment system for their users. It's opt in only so not all the Typepad blogs you visit may have it rolled out yet. Basically we now have an avatar system (although you need to set up a free Typekey account, which is apparently now known as a "Typepad Profile," so your avatar will show up), nested comments with direct replies, and e-mail notification should a reply be posted to your comment (also requiring Typekey). The fact that it requires Typekey/Typepad Profile kinda bugs me, but it's a step in the right direction.

War
When Katie and I bought my camera the other day, I opted for a four-year warranty. The 20% off that I received covered the cost of the warranty, so why not? Anyway, the woman at Sony asked me if I was aware that the warranty covered X, Y, and Z, but not A, B, and C, with "C" being "acts of war."

Me: Acts of what? You mean the warranty actually says that?

Her: It does now.

Me: I'm guessing for reporters in warzones?

Her: Yep.

Me: Wow!

Panda
Jesus, we can't win for losing with movies on Netflix. First it was the travesty known as Fred Claus and, last night, it was Kung Fu Panda. Maybe it gets better the further you watch into it, but we got through the first half hour or 45 minutes and were bored to tears. We hadn't even chuckled once by the time we shut it off. I'm on the verge of deleting all films from our Netflix queue and just populating it with TV discs. Okay, not really, but you get my point.

Nottie
Speaking of bad movies (and I admit I brought this one on myself), I was flipping through the on-screen channel guide and saw that some channel was playing The Hottie and the Nottie last night so I flipped it on out of sheer morbid curiosity. "The what and the what?" you might be asking. It's a Paris Hilton attempt at an acting career. Need I say more? I got through three minutes and 32 seconds before flipping the channel. Simply put, David Caruso can out-act Paris Hilton and that's saying something. What it's saying, I'm not sure, but it's something. The fact that this movie came out earlier this year and is already on extended cable also says something... about it stinking like year-old eggs, perhaps, but still.

When you're all alone...

First off, I want to thank everyone here for all their birthday wishes. I was truly overwhelmed. To be honest, I wasn't sure if anyone would catch on to my image reference. Yep, that is Sweetness himself, Walter Payton, donning #34, the age I turned on Friday.

However, anyone who has friended me on Facebook needn't have bothered with the reference as they were reminded on their own and I received nearly 30 well wishes. After a couple years on Facebook, during which I've received only a couple birthday wishes, seeing approximately 30 this year just blew my mind. I guess I actually should start paying attention to the birthday list and returning these sentiments. So, anyone not on Facebook, please get on there. It's going to be my primary method of keeping track of your birthdays. Lord knows I won't remember on my own. Seriously... I won't. I'm bad like that. So I guess it's nice to have Facebook.

Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, I took some pictures of the Christmas decorations around our house. I would've taken more of the Christmas tree, but we have a bunch of unwrapped presents underneath and I don't want to reveal them. I'll get a new photo of that later on. Enjoy what I have otherwise in this pictobrowser (or over on Flickr)...

Did I forget to make note of the camera used to take these pictures? Yeah, it's my brand new Sony Alpha A350. Got it earlier today. I bought just the body of it, though, at the Sony outlet store. It's a refurbished camera and with nothing additional but the battery, covers, cords, manuals, etc., and with an additional 20% discount this weekend only, it came to $471. I did tack on a memory card and a four-year protection plan so it came out to a bit more total. But still. I love it. It's wonderful.

Thank you Katie!

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): I woke up this morning and took my shower then came into the bedroom to wake Katie up. She was buried under the covers. Up over her head, in fact. So I peeled back the covers from her head and said, in a sing-song manner, "Katieeeeeee."

She looked at me with the good ol' Katie stinkeye and said, "There is no Katie, only Zuul.

"Are you the Gate Keeper?"

My wife, the movie geek.

Where, oh where...

I'm being punished.

I'm convinced of it.

By the very technology I otherwise love.

My iPod Shuffle is lost. My trusty old Truffle Shuffle (named in tribute to a scene from one of my favorite movies, The Goonies) is nowhere to be found and I think it's a form of punishment for a vile betrayal on my part.

You see, I'm a fan of the second generation orange iPod Shuffle. I've been a fan of it since it came out and was saddened when newer generations of the clip Shuffle were not available in orange. So I've been shopping around the Web for a good deal on one. I keep looking, but I never buy.

And I think my first generation, gumstick Shuffle has had enough. It has sensed my near betrayal and is hiding from me just as I was about to charge it up and put a new playlist on it for my trip into Chicago today.

Yes, I'm anthropomorphizing technology. It's nothing new for me as I've made clear that I think iPods are capable of syncing themselves not only with our computers, but with our brainwaves and emotions as well.

Truffle, please come back. I promise not to cheat on you again. I miss you. I really do. Just come home. Let's talk this out.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): So, Quantum of Solace... we did finally see it Sunday night. A little later than we planned, but still during opening weekend. I'll be honest, it wasn't as good as I was hoping it would be. Was it as good as Casino Royale? Not even close. But it was still gritty and action packed and more daring than most Bond films tend to be.

This also proved to be its downfall to some degree.

As Delmer pointed out in a comment on my Friday post, and I completely agree, the camera work and frenetic nature of the filming did make it difficult from time to time to figure out what the heck was going on. For me, at no time was this moreso the case than during that strange operatic sequence. It almost seemed to me that there were three different scenes blended into one and it just got confusing.

But, Craig still kicks severe ass as Bond. I do think he's the best of the bunch now, officially. He brings a snark to the character that we have come to expect, but without being over the top. He likes the ladies, but the focus is not on bedding them at every turn. And he doesn't rely on gadgets like every other Bond, which I like. It's him, his car, his gun, and his instincts. I'm not saying there are no gadgets in this film. Wait until you see MI6's computer getup. Holy crap.

The reason I'm still holding out hope, though, is because they have a third movie that they are planning on to make this a three-film arc... a Bond trilogy, as it were. And we all know that in trilogies, the middle film pretty much always sucks. Save for The Empire Strikes Back, which is, by far, the greatest Star Wars film ever.

Oh, and where the hell was my Star Trek trailer??? So bummed. I'm not a Trekkie, but I'm dyin' to see this flick regardless. My dad is, too, so I think we'll be each other's date since our respective significant others likely couldn't be coerced to see this even at gunpoint.

My baby takes the mornin' train...

So guess what? The justice system is gettin' an overhaul... KAPGAR STYLE!

After a week of calling in and finding out that I wasn't needed for jury duty, I called in last night, yet again, and found out that I do have to report tomorrow.

The timing is actually much better than if I had to report last week considering I had some pretty big projects due at work that would've been painful to try and postpone. So I got all those done and now the jury duty kicks in. Cool. The plan is to hit up the 6:36 train from Geneva to Chicago, grab some coffee, hang around for a little bit, and then report for duty at 8:30 a.m. on Dearborn. 

Yes, I am still looking forward to it even though I checked out some of the daily court calendar from last week and they were all pretty boring cases. Nothing quite like the income tax evasion, capital crimes, etc., that I was hoping would make it all kinda fun. Bummer. Oh, for the chance to stand up in court and scream "STONE HIM!"

But I will do my civic duty, and I will do it without too much bitching.

Also, I will gauge my lunchtime based on how tomorrow goes and, if time will permit and I still have to report after tomorrow, I'm totally cool with doing lunch with anyone who wants to meet up. You still interested, Sheila? Anybody else? Maybe dinner?

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): We did it. We bit the bullet. Yesterday, we bought Katie an iPhone.

She's loving it so far even though the idea of paying the extra money for the data plan still irks her. It irks her to the point of feeling buyer's remorse over the purchase. But she, like me, has pretty much hated her Razr phone since day one. So anything that can make her enjoy owning a cellphone is a good thing.

I've played with it a little bit and am becoming much more accustomed to it. For the longest time, I was having extreme difficulty with the menu structure. I couldn't find things on the phone. Now I'm getting the hang of it and it's pretty cool. And at half the price of the phone I'm testing now, it's far more reasonable. But I still may be getting a free Blackberry, so we'll see.

Oh, and that Shazam app that they advertise that allows you to hold up your iPhone to a song and have the app identify it? Totally works. And it's free.

And her wallpaper? Totally appropriate for someone who wants to be a junior high science teacher.

Who cut off their tails with a carving knife...

I think I'm going insane.

Paranoia is taking its toll.

It's been a slow, but steady decline to the depths of mental despair, but I'm knocking on the door waiting for the gatekeeper to open.

Many of you have been reading here long enough to know of my Tails of Wildlife Woe. No, I did not misspell "tails." It is in reference to the mouse problem that has occasionally befallen us in our townhouse. There have been a few over the years.

No, we don't have another one. Not that I'm aware of anyway. But try telling that to my brain. Whenever I'm in my house, I see little shadows scurrying out the corner of my eye. Tearing across the countertop. Speeding across the carpet. Skidding over the bathroom linoleum.

But anytime I go to examine, I find nothing. No evidence of mousey miscreants anywhere. No poop. No moved articles. No nibbles in any paper packaging or in the foodstuffs we leave out on the counter.

There is absolutely no empirical evidence that any mice are in my house anywhere!

And I still swear I see them. Sometimes I think they're snickering at me. Their little whiskers fluttering up and down as they cackle at my futile attempts not only to catch them, but just to prove that they even exist.

It's driving me up a freakin' wall!

Make it stop!

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Has anyone ever had their iPod not recognize music that they know is on there? This has happened to me a few times lately.

The first was with a song by She & Him called "Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" I purchased this as part of a Starbucks compilation album called Have You Heard. Being a purchase direct from iTunes, you would expect it to work. And yet, I could never find it when I scrolled through the artist subfolder for She & Him. The only way I could find the song was by doing an album search for Have You Heard.

Next it was the Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins album Rabbit Fur Coat. I loaded it in iTunes and sync'd my iPod and it wasn't there. Not under the artist name anyway. I could find the album. But I'll be damned if it was available under the name Jenny Lewis or a variant thereof. After a while, though, it just spontaneously appeared.

The third was Jenny Lewis' other solo album Acid Tongue. Again, it would only show up under the album name. I deleted the files and reripped the CD and still nothing. I went into the album info and added her name anywhere I could find a form field related to artist. Still nothing.

The thing is I'm not sure that these are the only albums this is happening with. These just happen to be the ones I was looking for at a given moment.

I don't get it. I just reinstalled the firmware for my iPod and resync'd everything. It took a little over an hour, and I'm still not sure it's going to work. Wish me luck...

... and still no She & Him nor Jenny Lewis Acid Tongue. But Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins is on there.

I'm at a loss.

On the road again...

Sorry about the unnecessarily short post on Friday. I really couldn't think of much to say and I was trying out the Typepad mobile blogging platform on my Nokia E71 to see how it worked. Seemed to be pretty nice. Gave me enough basic functionality to write and publish a post, but not much else. I do have a second review of the E71 in my extended post if you're interested, though.

Oddly, though, there are several of you who seem to enjoy my potty humor implications. Twisted bastards... I love y'all!

In other news, I got word from the District Court in Chicago, and I don't need to report tomorrow. I actually am kinda bummed. I've really been building myself up for this. Who knows, maybe they caught word of me talking about it on my blog and disqualified me as a result. I wonder if they would do that for fear of me talking too much. Hmmm...

But there is still a chance I could receive the nod... I was told I have to call in each night before a possible jury duty reporting through the next two weeks. This means I could still go, but the fact that I have to call in so often and never know until the night before is annoying not just to me, but to my boss and coworkers because it's so last second. I pretty much have to leave an out-of-office message on my phone and e-mail account at all times because I won't know until after I've already left work for the day if I will be back in the next day or not. That doesn't seem right to me.

So that's all I've got for you right now. As I said at the top of the post, if you keep reading, there's a second review with some of the pros and cons of the Nokia E71 that I think I have about half a week left to play with before I, *sniffle*, have to send it back.

And I want it now...

It's been a while since I griped about the Jury Duty information request form I received some time ago. But I was laboring under the impression that no news is good news insofar as I had no desire to serve.

However, a few weeks ago, I received a follow up. This time with specific dates. That can't be good. Or can it?

Basically, I was told to block off a two-week period starting next Monday. At this point, I have no idea if they'll actually need me. But, pending the possibility that they might, I'm trying to make the most of it and be a bit optimistic.

For example, here are some positives:

• I get to visit Chicago, singularly the greatest city on the face of the Earth. I swear, after 21 years living here, I still get that googly eyed wondrous look on my face every time I go downtown. I'm a little kid. I love it.
• I get to take the train each day, which is going to save boku bucks on gas.
• I get to read or listen to my iPod or surf the Web on this Nokia smart phone while on the train. Fun!
• I get paid. Not much, but it's mine!
• I've never served on a jury before. The likelihood is that it will be boring stuff, if they even use me. Or it could be some big, juicy case. It is the District Court, after all.

So, yeah, I'm trying to stay upbeat about the whole thing. If I keep pissing and moaning, what good is that going to do? May as well make the most of it. That's so non-cynical of me.

Hey, not sure how lunch works during jury duty, but if anyone wants to meet up in the Loop area for lunch, let me know.

BTW, speaking of the Nokia E71 smart phone I'm playing with, I've got some initial impressions of it in the extended post.

Heads turning as the lights flashing out...

And now Snippet Wednesday is into those awkward post-21 years when nothing good happens. Guess we'll have to wait until he turns 25 and is able to rent a car. Bummer. Happy 22nd... meh.

Housekeeping
There are some magazines you expect to find in certain places. Boy's Life in dentist's offices. Mother's World in a day care. Two-year-old Sports Illustrateds in doctor's offices. But when I find a Good Housekeeping  on the floor of a bathroom stall in the men's locker room of my gym, I'm gonna start to worry.

Camera
I went out during my lunch break yesterday to start looking at some DSLR cameras. And, much as I thought I might, I fell head over heels for the Sony Alpha A350. It's a 14.2 megapixel beauty with in-camera image stabilization, live preview screen that tilts both up and down for those awkward shot angles, and just feels like a solid freakin' camera. Best thing yet is that since Sony bought out Maxxum, all my old Minolta SLR lenses will work on it, saving us a nice chunk of change. I think I mentioned this some time ago when I was drooling over Sony's first entry into the DSLR category, the Alpha A100, but I wasn't in a purchase place at the time. Now I think we really are. This is, barring catastrophe, supposed to be my birthday and Christmas gift from Katie while she scores a new MacBook to use for school. Sounds like a fair trade, right? Actually, she might be making out a bit more, but oh well. She needs a computer she can use in class and she, like me, is a Mac Whore (tm). Do any of you know much about this Sony? Many of you are really gifted photographers, I'd love your input.

Nokia
Don't ever let anyone tell you bitching doesn't work. I griped last week about how I wanted to take part in that trial of the Nokia E71-NAM smartphone but, 1) they never got back to me, and 2) I'd have to pay for the service during the trial period, remember? Well, very soon after that post went up, they mailed me back and corrected themselves. It is an unlocked phone and I can use it on AT&T. This makes me VERY happy. So now I'm going to play. Just a matter of them sending it my way. And this phone has received some pretty rave reviews on both Diggnation and Wired. I just don't want to have to send it back.

Soccer
And speaking of photography and all that good stuff, I'm finally getting around to posting photos and video that I took from the two Illinois Wesleyan women's soccer games Katie and I went to. Not the best sports shots I've ever taken, but, in the past, I always managed to sneak onto the sideline with my SLR. A bit different when you're in the stands with a point and shoot, don't you think? If you can't see the Pictobrowser, check out the entire Flickr album.

Out cold...

Guess what! Snippet Wednesday can now legally drink! #21, y'all!

Plurk'd
In the midst of my frustration over being frozen out of Twitter (which has allowed me back to play in their sandbox, BTW), I went ahead and signed up with sue on Plurk. It's a far different experience than Twitter although both are marketed as microblogging social network sites. Instead of being message on top of message, like Twitter, the messages you post are listed in a timeline and you can continue a conversation based on a single Plurk (?) in a threaded box as opposed to having to dig around to find a reply if your respondent forgets to throw the @ to make it a Twitter direct reply. I also like that it's all Ajax based and dynamically updates itself. It's pretty nice. The only downside is that there aren't nearly as many people in Plurk as there are in Twitter. So I'll use both. For now anyway. Gotta up my karma rating. ;-)

Griping
A friend forwarded this to me and, as a Web designer, I gotta admit that I love it. Thank you to vilain.com.

[click on image to increase size]

STD
It blows my mind to think that a Web site actually exists that allows a person to send an e-card to people that they may have infected with some STD. Yeah, you read that right. If you have contracted an STD, you can enter all the information you have about former lovers and have an e-card delivered to them informing them that they should get tested. While it's better than no notice at all, I'd really think that there must be a better, and less anonymous, way.

Single
I think I can now consider myself at least a tangential San Francisco 49ers fan. Why? Because my man, "Samurai" Mike Singletary has been named head coach of the team after the sacking of former head coach Mike Nolan. Need a reminder of my love of Singletary? Here you go...

Nokia
About a week and a half ago, I got a killer invite. Some site asked if I would be willing to trial a smartphone and write about it on my blog. It's a Nokia E71-NAM and it's a gorgeous phone, here's hoping the functionality equals the form factor. I began talking with the rep at this site and she seemed pretty gung ho about sending it to me. Then the ball was dropped. I could only have it for two weeks and I was required to pay for the service on the phone. First, two weeks is not nearly enough time to really get a feel for the phone. Second, it's a load of crap that if you are solicited to review something that they are not paying for it. You're using your time and your resources for it, right? It's one thing if I could take the SIM card out of my AT&T Razr and put it in this phone to try it, but this phone is locked to T-mobile. A week ago I asked them how much the service would cost for the two weeks and they have yet to get back to me. It could've been so much fun to play with this phone. Dammit.

Punched
If I never buy another game for my Nintendo Wii, let it be this one... a revised version of the classic Punch-Out! with all the same characters and even the same music, but updated and looking FINE! The only problem is that I have to wait until 2009 to get my grubby mitts on it.

Your own personal Jesus...

Welcome to Snippet Wednesday #17!

Authentic
Katie was driving this morning when she passed by a church with "Authentic Jesus" on its front sign. Can anyone tell us what constitutes an authentic Jesus as opposed to a fake Jesus and what studies have been done to validate these findings? Can I take them on their word on this? If they're lying, who would I file a complaint with?

Domobacca
I'm starting to wonder if these two little beasts were separated at birth. At left is one of the Target Domokun Halloween plushes and at right is the Mighty Mugg Chewbacca. Eerily similar, aren't they? And, yes, that's a candy corn in Chewie's mitt.

Henson
Speaking of little creatures, happy birthday to Jim Henson, creator of The Muppets and so much other great stuff that has entertained me throughout my life. You are a true artist.

Mattingly
My BiL Scott sent this bad boy my way. It's an oversized (5" x 7") 1985 Topps Don Mattingly card. Back in the day, I was a diehard Yankees fan (I was born in New York and raised a bit in Connecticut, so I'm excused) and "Donnie Baseball" was m'man. I collected all kinds of Mattingly baseball cards until I stopped collecting sometime in the very early 90s. Scott, who got back into card collecting recently, has been sending me the occasional Mattingly card for kicks. Two of them are in magnetic frames on our fridge while this one is now displayed on my overhead cabinet at work. Thanks Scott (and Becca).

Dairy
Winter twatted this morning about a report that PETA is asking Ben & Jerry's ice cream company to start using human breast milk as opposed to cow's milk. Seriously? Well, as she said, that would be one dairy I'd like to see.

Dew
When the first thing you do upon entering your place of employment in the morning is to head to the breakroom and buy a Mountain Dew, you know something is wrong.

Which is the way that's clear...

Don't ask why, but lately I've been forced to share my time of late on different computers. My arsenal of computers includes my G5 iMac, G3 PowerBook, a Dell desktop, a Dell laptop, and a Lenovo laptop. Plus, there can be any number of other computers I just happen upon to do something.

In one regard, it's kinda nice because I get to see what these computers are all about and run them through more paces than when you sit in a computer store and try a few menial tasks and are forced to make a purchase decision based on that scant information. Not that I'm necessarily shopping at the moment.

However, what drives me nuts are the differences between all of them. On one computer I may be typing up something and hit a long horizontal enter key, others are shorter, and a final may have a reverse L shape. My fingers never quite hit it just right on all of them. On the laptops, the function keys are combined with all these other options that require the use of a blue Fn (function) key and none of the additional functions, nor the Fn key itself, are ever in the same place. The Dell laptop has it just inside the Ctrl key while the Lenovo has them flipped. This is really messing with my use of control functions. Then there's the fact that Page Up, Page Down, Home, and End keys on Mac never work quite the same way they do on Windows machines (this is one of the few things that drives me nuts about Mac).

And finally, the trackpads and mouse buttons on the laptops are all over God's green acres. The Dell has the mouse keys spaced about a quarter inch from the bottom edge of the laptop. On the Lenovo, the mouse buttons run right up to the edge of the computer. After using the Lenovo last night, I had to figure out why, this morning, I was tapping my thumb below the trackpad on the Dell and nothing happened. I was hitting solid plastic. It's the space differential from the edge of the computer where the buttons sit. My hand sits in one place and becomes accustomed to finding the buttons at a certain angle on one, while that seemingly meager quarter inch completely threw me off on the other.

I think it's time to lock all these "form and functionality" designers in a windowless closet and force them to come up with a damn standard already. I know how to type, but this hunt and peck method I need to employ to get used to where things are from one computer to the next is for the birds.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): I don't know how many of you watch Mad Men, but I just started recently. I finished season one late last week and am now catching up on the two months worth of episodes from season two that have been sitting on mine and Katie's DVR. Last night I even twatted that I was finally catching up on Mad Men (along with last week's episode of Fringe).

This morning, I check my e-mail to find out that I'm being followed on Twitter by @bettydraper. I can only assume it's because of my Mad Men twat. If you know the show, you know that Betty Draper is the unsatisfied housewife of lead character Don Draper and is played by the stunning January Jones (of American Wedding fame). Of course, while it would be nice, I realize this is not really January Jones. But whoever did do this is having some fun. Not only do they have the Twitter account, but they set up a LinkedIn account for her detailing her work experience as a housewife and fashion model. It's pretty hilarious but clearly marks the beginning of the end of any legitimacy that LinkedIn may have had among business professionals.

Well done, @bettydraper.

Heh, and I just received a follow notice from @bertramcooper, one of the co-owners of the Stanley Cooper agency where Don Draper works. I wonder if the whole cast of characters have Twitter personas run by fans. This is kinda fun.

Every sperm is sacred...

Time for some snippets! It is Snippet Wednesday #15 if I recall.

Zazzle
I don't get it. The night before last, I created four items at Zazzle to tie into my declaration that I shall heretofore be known as "kapgar ocho cinco" (a declaration that true believer *lynne* reflects in her blogroll... y'all take notice!). Three of those four items were linked to in the post because they were approved immediately. They were the mug, sticker, and keychain. The fourth item, a pair of women's Keds sneakers were on hold pending approval by the "Zazzle Content Review Team." And they were sweet shoes. The kind even I would've worn if they made Keds for men. Yesterday, I receive an e-mail stating that my shoes were declined due to me violating their "No names or images of celebrities" policy. Well, okay, I guess on the extreme fringe I can possibly understand this. I am using, verrrryyyy loosely, a derivative of the name of a celebrity on my product; unless, of course, they're referring to moi as a celebrity (but I think I'd give me permission, wouldn't you?). So I go check, expecting that my other items were pulled, ex post facto. And they're all still up for sale. Now that's what I call consistency in policy enforcement.

Fringe
Speaking of fringe, I'm on the fringe regarding Fringe, FOX's new supernatural, paranormal, extra-terrestrial, semi-believable, über-weirdo, X-Files-channeling series that debuted last night. It was something that I had no desire to watch whatsoever, but, for whatever reason, actually tuned into. It was slow going. Not terrible, but far from great. If this was still summer and if my regular season shows weren't going to start within the next month, I'd likely keep watching it. But with all these other shows to take up my time, I'm not entirely sure. What did all of you -- if any of you watched it -- think about it?

Palin
I know exactly who I'm voting for in November! Thanks to occasional fish, via edenza's Google Reader account.

Seizure
I know this has been talked about before, but I thought it had been voted down. Apparently not. I ask, is anyone else terrified of the fact that the U.S. government can just up and take your electronic devices after international flights terminating in the U.S.? No rhyme or reason and no guarantee on when it will be returned. Sorry, but this scares me to no end. I know it says that this is only for people coming to the U.S. from foreign countries, but that doesn't necessarily mean it cannot happen to U.S. travelers returning home from overseas, does it? I can see the envelope being pushed to include that. Sometimes, the country I love scares the ever-loving bejeebus out of me.

Tracks of my tears...

Snippet Wednesday #14! We survived #13! Celebrate!

Okay, that's way too many exclamation points. Even for me. Yikes.

Madness
I had been hearing about this mockumentary of the making of the movie Tropic Thunder called Rain of Madness for some time and I've been wanting to check it out just about as long. I found out yesterday that this spoof movie is available... and free to boot. If you have iTunes, check it out. It's a free half-hour of video content. Even if you don't have a video iPod, you can still download and watch on your computer. How can you go wrong? I also love how they're spoofing the whole Apocalypse Now/Hearts of Darkness movie/documentary relationship. Seeing as how I studied both in grad school, I can totally appreciate it.

Nealon
Okay, I don't watch Weeds; not yet anyway. So I really have no way of knowing how good Kevin Nealon is in it. I'm hoping those of you who watch Weeds will confirm that his entertainment abilities haven't waned at all. Why? Because Katie and I have tickets to see him do a live stand-up routine at Pheasant Run in St. Charles, IL, next Friday night. And I'm really looking forward to it. I loved the guy in Saturday Night Live and, when you combine that with the fact I haven't seen a stand-up comedian in... well... I don't even remember how long, that's just a lot of expectation. Please tell me he's good. Please? Oh, and also please tell me that I shouldn't worry that this gig isn't listed on his official Web site.

Mourning
I'd like to hold a moment of silence for the poor, little guy at right. I found his broken, discarded body in a rock garden in a parking lot outside a Goodwill store. Considering how much joy these little minifigs have brought me throughout my life, I just knew I couldn't leave him there to rot in the hot, late summer sun. I've named him Louis after Dan Aykroyd's character in Trading Places; once a rich and well-dressed sort of fellow whose life and prosperity were taken from him and he was left a broken and forgotten man. It's just not fair. And now I must figure out how best to honor Louis' memory. Any suggestions?

Ratings
My God, I happened to be tuned in to FX last night as they began showing the premiere episode of the final season of The Shield (no, I didn't watch as I haven't seen any of the series yet; they're in my Netflix queue). But I was amazed by the announcement of the rating of the episode... TV-MA-L-S-V. Woah, when it takes nearly as long to say the rating as it does to play the episode, you know it's good!

Walk Idiot Walk...

I make no secret of my hatred of treadmills. I don't really hate running so much, but running in place always struck me as completely pointless. Sure, you get a good workout in very little space. You can control temperature and terrain and all that jazz, but it's just so. damn. boring.

Nothing changes and I hate that. Even running with an iPod set up in front of you to watch something doesn't really help so much. It's just too small a screen to counter the fact that nothing else changes around you. The same view in front, the same view to the sides, and you feel like you're winning nothing because you're "keeping pace" with everyone around you. No matter how fast you go, there they all are. After a while, you almost feel willing to trade a non-vital bodypart to convince one of them to leave so it looks like you've made headway on someone.

Or this could just be how my crazy, mixed-up brain perceives it all. Wouldn't be the first time.

However, yesterday at the gym, I was introduced to something that just might change my view. It was a new LifeFitness treadmill they receieved a couple days ago and finally finished assembling. Actually, they got two of them. And it is tres cool. I wish I knew the model number, but who really cares. Yeah, it's got the shock absorbing running platform, QuickStart, LifePulse, blah, blah.

Most importantly, it has full iPod compatibility! Plug in your iPod and it not only charges, but it starts to play on a 17" (maybe it was 15" - I wasn't carrying a tape measure) flat-panel monitor that is separate from the actual gauge monitor for your workout (mounted above the monitor you see on the treadmill at right). After figuring out how to use the on-screen controls (it takes a little getting used to), I was watching America's Game #2: 1985 Chicago Bears on the TV for the duration of my 45 minute workout. And I didn't even notice how the time flew. Very sweet, indeed!

Now if only I can guarantee that nobody else will ever use MY treadmill, I'd be happy.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Katie's other class started last night and, don't ask me how, they got on the topic of foreign films. Katie's teacher is a big fan and Katie was recommending the movie we saw a few months ago, Under the Same Moon (La Misma Luna), to her. And her teacher said she is always willing to accept recommendations for foreign films. So I began to think of some that I've seen and enjoyed. The list includes: City of God (Brazil), Run Lola Run (Germany), The Princess and the Warrior (Germany), Amelie (France), He Loves Me... He Loves Me Not (France), A Very Long Engagement (France), and some others.

And then I got to thinking, hell, I'd like some recommendations. Many of you are pretty worldly in terms of cinema. Throw some recommendations at me. You can see from the list above what I like (Franka Potente, Audrey Tautou, Tom Tykwer), but I'd never limit myself to just this. Throw me some ideas.

One last note...

don't forget to vote!

Welcome to the new dark ages...

I do believe we have now hit lucky number 13 in Snippet Wednesday! Woo hoo!

6669
Katie started her fall classes last night and had to pick up her campus parking permit before class started. I received a call from her on my commute home about it.

Katie: "You'll never guess what my parking permit number is... 6-6-6-9."

Kevin: "Wow! The best of both worlds... Satanism and sex!"

Katie: "Um, yeahhhhhh."

Segel
Avitable and I were having an e-mail conversation about Freaks & Geeks this morning and the fact that it was recently re-released on DVD (at a much lower pricepoint than the $160 set I had to pass on a few years ago). If you haven't seen the show, I highly recommend it. Fantastic cast. Great writing. It's one of Judd Apatow's early forays into entertainment and you could see the promise just oozing out of every episode. Hell, the only negative was that it was so short lived. Thinking about it made me realize how much a fan of Jason Segel I've become. You've got F&G, How I Met Your Mother, Knocked Up, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, among many others. And now I want to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall again. I mean like desperately want to see it. And it won't be out on DVD for another month. DAMMIT! But, when it does come out on September 30, it will be in three-disc set glory! Oh I can't wait.

Microsoft
For years, I've watched as Microsoft has fallen further and further behind the times. First it was their inability to fix bugs and security holes in their programs. Then they sat on their laurels as other companies like Mozilla and Apple developed better Web browsing software than their Internet Explorer. Recently, they finally decided to try to curb the exodus from their Vista OS by hiring Jerry Seinfeld as a commercial pitchman (as detailed quite nicely by Dave). And yesterday, I read an article that describes how IE8 is going to have a feature called "InPrivate Browsing." Microschlock's PR people are making it sound like the second coming. As though Web users have not known browsing until they've tried this simply because it will allow them to not record cookies, files, logins, etc., while surfing. As IE8 program manager Andy Ziegler says in the article, "Users should be in control of their information. That's at the core of privacy." Well duh. And before you strain yourselves patting each others' backs, perhaps you should realize that this has existed on Safari for three years or more. It's called "Private Browsing." Not only are you just now getting caught up on 2005, but you can't even come up with a more original name.

Whoring
Yes, I'm going to keep whoring myself out for votes until the contest ends this Sunday. I am almost in double digits! As Vahid pointed out, I'm beating Perez Hilton! That's big time, baby! Head on over and vote. Only 661 more to go and I can tie the Comics Curmudgeon.

Oh, and for every ten votes I receive, I'll put a piece of clothing back on! Sound like a deal? Haven't we seen enough of Avitable's nakedness lately? Wouldn't you rather see me clothed?

I got a devil's haircut...

Katie and I are up watching the Olympics last night, it's about 10:30 p.m. and I'm dying. Simply nodding in and out of sleep for the next 15 minutes until we decide to go upstairs. We turn on the Olympics up there and I decide I'm going to sleep regardless. I nod off and then Katie turns out the light. I wake up long enough to kiss her goodnight and see her fall dead to the world.

And, of course, I wind up awake until sometime after 1 a.m. How the hell is this fair?

So, um, yeah, my creativity is kinda shot and I had this really cool idea for a post I was going to write that would serve as a review of this razor that was sent to me as a freebie. You probably saw it over on Karl's site. Apparently we were both hit up at the same time. Combine my tiredness factor with the fact that Karl already did the cutesy review and I'm sorry, but you're not going to wind up with a bunch of photos of people with curious shavings in their heads and facial hair with parts of my own face Photoshopped over them. Just ain't happenin', folks. Shame because I was really looking forward to my face with Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn's zigzag hair from Major League.

[I realize not all of you appreciate product placement, but if you stay tuned, I've got a couple video snippets from the TDFN: Pizza episode in the extended post. No, really!]

Instead, you're going to get a straightforward review of the new Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer (to be referred to henceforth as the "SQTT").

In the simplest terms, the SQTT is an all-in-one razor and trimmer. One end is your standard razor with four blades, a moisturizing strip, and a single edging blade on the reverse face of the blade. I always like having an edging blade. Pretty handy when you've got cutoff sideburns and a goatee like me. However, on the opposite end of this device is a battery-powered trimmer with a three-setting protective head cover. While I haven't looked for it in stores, I was told by the guy that contacted me that this thing goes for about $14 retail. Not bad considering I spend about $7-8 for a razor and $15 for a trimmer.

The razor works just as well as you'd expect. Nice, clean shave. Didn't nick myself at all and the moisturizing strip makes the blades just glide over my face. One strange thing is getting used to how big this thing is. Most of my razor handles are about half the width of this thing, if not less. Plus the battery and motor used for the trimmer adds quite a bit of heft to the thing. It may sound odd, but once you've been shaving with a certain type of razor, this additional weight can take some getting used to in order to make sure you don't overapply pressure and cut yourself. Thankfully, it really took me no time to get used to it.

The trimmer is a nice little toy to have on this thing. It's a small trimmer head, but it's perfect if you travel a lot and don't want to carry a large trimmer in your luggage. However, the size means it is best used on small areas (no jokes, people!) like sideburns. I used it on my goatee and it took a little longer than I'm used to in order to finish trimming. But the results were quite nice. If you plan on trimming a full beard, you'd better have the patience of a saint, though.

The entire unit is waterproof, which is great. I almost always shave in the shower and knowing that I can use this thing without worrying about frying it or myself is a plus.

My only true concern now is with how much replacement blades cost. The housing used to connect the blade to the base unit is unlike any I've seen before (maybe this is the standard Schick Quattro and I just haven't used one yet), and the high cost of replacement blades is something that has irked me for years.

I would've also liked to see it come with a little bottle of oil that could be used to lube up the trimmer, though, and possibly a cleaning brush. Most trimmers I've owned come with both these things.

Would you like to see the final result? Here you go...

Ain't I sexy? Okay, so my creativity was only mostly shot. This was a quick grab and slap, though.
But, c'mon! Tom Selleck in Mickey ears is quality comedy gold!

Overall, I'd give it a B+ bordering on an A-. If you hurry over to TrimFlixx.com and make yourself a free gag movie (akin to those viral dancing elves videos around Christmas time), you can score yourself a free razor. Or at least I think you still can. It might end this week, though, so HURRY!

Gimme money...

I swear to God, every time I now think the words "Snippet Wednesday" in my head, I wind up singing a strangely bastardized version of The Bangles' "Manic Monday." That can't be right, can it?

Anyway, we're on to Snippet Wednesday #11! And there was much rejoicing!

Begging
While in Chicago for Davecago, Katie and I saw our fair share of beggars asking for money. I don't know why I thought this, but for some reason, the concept of these guys as actually having a lot of money hit me. What if they'd had such fantastic luck panhandling that they had tons of money and continued to play the role of poor just because it was so lucrative? Is this really such a stretch? We only see a little bit in their buckets, guitar cases, hats, etc., at any one time, but this doesn't mean that they hadn't removed big chunks of cash and put it in a pocket to make it look like they had nothing. What if they do return home at night to really nice houses and families and the like? Do you think this could be possible? Remember Orlando Jones in Office Space? He said he made more selling magazine subscriptions than he did in his software design job. Why not for panhandlers, too?

Van
On the way home from Chicago, we were driving near one of those big Ford conversion vans with all the windows blacked out and heavy duty, aftermarket locks welded on the back and side doors. Katie's response, "yeah, somebody is tied up and drugged in the back of that van." I think I agree. But I also think we may be watching too much CSI and Criminal Minds.

Homero
I think I'm going to find a quarter and etch Homer on it then return it to general circulation kinda like what happened here. How cool!

Gymnastics
I have always loved Olympic gymnastics. I really have no idea why. It's not something I ever wanted to try, it's nothing I'd ever be capable of doing, and the kids are so freakishly young and small that I actually said about one Chinese gymnast last night, "She's so tiny I could fold her up and put her in my pocket," so it's certainly not sex appeal (well, except Alicia Sacramone who I think is the first gymnast I've ever seen who actually has a body and doesn't look 12 years old and, yes, I feel horrible for her after what happened last night). I think I may have finally figured out the real reason, though, while listening to a commentator during the women's gymnastics routines last night. I think it might be because it's the one time you can say something akin to "she's got great spread in her legs!" and not be arrested for indecent public behavior.

Pryor-itized
Thank you, Cinematical!

Scraps
Are any of you scrapbookers or stampers? If so, and if you live in the Chicago area or are willing to pay for shipping, my mom is having a big scrapbook and stamping supply sale this weekend. Here are some of the details...

Rubber Stamp/Scrapbook Supplies Closeout Sale

Many Thousands of New Items

Everything Must Go!!!

Rubber stamps, card stock, envelopes, ribbons, embellishments, punches, stamp pads/re-inkers, storage units, handmade cards, embossing powders, adhesives, markers, specialty papers, handmade cards and much, much more!

Friday - Saturday, August 15-16, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m.

I know my mom said it's okay to post her address and phone number, but I still feel weird about it. You never know what kinds of freaky people are crawling for that information. So, if you're seriously interested, e-mail me at kapgar5@gmail.com and I'll give you her information. Sound good?

Do you believe in magic...

I think I have officially found the strangest word ever included in a spell check dictionary. Or it could be a sign that the world truly is ruled by J.K. Rowling. Take your pick.

In an homage to an episode of Ace of Cakes when Mary Alice calls Duff "Dumbledork," I called a friend by the same name in an e-mail. The spell checker flagged the word and offered "Dumbledore," the character in the Harry Potter books and movies from which Mary Alice's comment was taken, as a viable alternative.

Now, unless "Dumbledore" has some other valid reason to be included in a Microsoft dictionary (I was using Outlook for the e-mail), I think I can say I've seen it all.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Mark David Chapman, the man who shot John Lennon four times in the back outside the latter's NYC apartment in 1980, has been denied parole for a fifth time. The question remains whether it was for the safety of society or for his own safety.

I say let him out and see what happens. It can be a Running Man of sorts to see who gets to him first. Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha. ha.

Are you diggin' on me...

Are you ready for Snippet Wednesday #10??

Yeah, I'm not either. Just thought I'd ask in case. But, yanno, I have now broken into the double digits. That's a big accomplishment considering we bloggers usually have the attention span of gnats and give up on regular things like this way too quickly.

Oh well.

Tube-Tied
As you all know from my paltry post yesterday, YouTube decided not to play nice. Well, I can't really fault them as it is their policy to not accept videos longer than 10 minutes in length and I was openly defying that. But it sucks no less. However, thanks to Marie and Hilly, I've now discovered Vimeo and am in the process of uploading videos there. Much nicer user interface and so far it's playing well with what I'm giving it. One video done and processed and another one in the works. I'll try posting the new video tomorrow. Wish me luck... I'm cooking yet again!

Wal-phone
Katie and I have pretty much ruled out getting iPhones again. Even though they've dropped in price and whatnot, they're still comparatively expensive and we just don't have that kind of a budget for a phone and don't plan to anytime soon. However, I'd still like a smart phone and have discovered the Palm Centro. What I like about it is that it works just like the Palm Pilots that I've been using for years now, just with a phone in it, so I know it will work on Mac and PC and sync with my Outlook account at work. Plus it has threaded SMS messaging so you can maintain a conversation with someone kinda like using Gmail and not have to search all over God's green acres for past messages. That's pretty sweet. The biggest bonus, though, is that they're currently available at Wal-Mart of all places for a mere $18.88 each. And that's taking into consideration that we're not new AT&T users. The free Centro deal at Best Buy this week is for rookies only. I hate that. I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that we're thinking about buying cell phones from Wal-Mart. That's just strange.

Knighted
The Dark Knight has broken $400 million... in a mere three weekends. That's just insanely cool. We all know it's repeat business that is driving this one and Katie and I have seen it twice. How many times have you seen it?

Homely
I take issue with this headline... Joss Stone playing homely wife in "Tudors." Sure, the character she will be portraying was not known for being good looking. But this is Joss Stone. You do not make her play "homely." No no. Never.

Scooter
In celebration of Marty's birthday, I am going to celebrate Scooter Wednesday (yes, all this happened this past Saturday, not today, deal with it). More photos are available at Flickr.

I don't feel like dancin', no sir, no dancin' for me...

Grab your scissors, it's time for Snippet Wednesday #9!

Waiting
I've always read the stories about how Netflix supposedly flags your account when you rent too many movies in too short a period of time. The theory is that this is them thinking that you're ripping movies and making your own copies. I was what I liked to think of as a Netflix Preferred Customer... not renting too many, not renting too few. Therefore, I was not being penalized and I was always sent the "long wait" or "very long wait" DVDs immediately. Not anymore apparently. I've been waiting for Mad Men, s1 d1, ever since its release. I'm getting tired of it. I know it's popular, but damn Netflix. Give it up already.

Cuil'd
Some of the developers that worked on Google have splintered off and launched their own Web search engine, which they tout searches three times as many pages as the king. The engine is called Cuil (Irish for "knowledge" and it is pronounced "cool") and to be honest, I'm not impressed. Okay, so some bugs may need to be worked out of the system, but why the hell would you launch it if it weren't at least close to ready. I played with it on the first day and none of the links off the main page worked at all and I'm not too keen on how the results are presented on the page either. Seriously, when the search engine doesn't even find your own site when you enter its name into the search, there's something wrong. Hell, Google already registers Cuil as the top result when you search for the name. Cuil, not so much. I don't see this happening. Sorry. And I'm not the only one.

TEAL
This is my kinda street team. TEAL stands for Typo Eradication Advancement League and they are four people who traveled the U.S. this year trying to correct typos that are out there for the public to see. It's funny as hell. Click on any of the points on the map and you can go through to their blog where they detail what they did in each locale. Great stuff.

Hero
I have a new hero. His name is Daniel Morey and he is a carpenter from nearby Naperville. He also recently won a Lego building competition and has been added to the Lego payroll so he can build all day long every day at the new Legoland Discovery Center that is opening tomorrow at the Streets of Woodfield outside Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, IL. Lucky bastard.

Quaked
I think everyone I know was in the LA area for the quake that hit yesterday. My brother, Karl, Whit, Erin. I can safely assume Hilly and Neil as well. And I am so so jealous. I miss the New Madrid earthquake, I miss all tornadoes. Eventually karma's just gonna hit my ass with the perfect storm, isn't it?

Fifth
According to a recent study, one fifth of Americans are watching TV online instead of on their TV. Really? That many? I know a handful at most. And I'm not one of them. I'm sorry, but I can't stand sitting in front of my computer to watch a TV show. That's what my TV and DVD player are for. And I'm not about to trade my 42" plasma for a 19" computer monitor... a couch for a card table chair. Now if this study includes watching on an iPod, okay. I do that when I'm away from my beloved plasma, but not otherwise. Do you?

Rollin'
I've been meeting a bunch of new bloggers lately via teh Intarwebs and I have my guestposting stint on Karl's site to thank for many of them. So last night I started adding a bunch to my blogroll. In recent weeks, my roll has jumped from the mid 60s to about 81. And I'm not even sure I got them all. I was half asleep as I made the updates, so please do me a favor and check for your site on there. If it's not posted, please don't think I overlooked you intentionally. I just glazed over. Seriously. Just tell me and I'll add you in. That's really all it takes.

I wanna run to you...

I can't remember if it was yesterday's ad for Circuit City or Best Buy, but one of them was having a sale on all video games that were tied in to summer movies. Wall*E, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, The Dark Knight, etc. It blew my mind to see how many games had been made to accompany movies.

That's when I started to wonder who made the decision as to what movies get greenlighted as video games. I also started wondering why some movies, that are seemingly born to be made into video games, are not.

So I began pondering what movies would be great games. And it hit me... JUNO!

The game is played as Paulie Bleeker and the goal would be to bed as many of your classmates as possible. This is a strategy game, first and foremost. You have to scout your school to find a person whose intimacy levels most match yours. It would be like comparing Playboy centerfold profiles. Obviously, your levels will be very low when you start playing for the first time. However, you can create a savable profile and build your levels up. Eventually, given enough time and skill building, you can achieve the Dancing Elk o' Intimacy level and be able to bed anyone in your school, including teachers and administrators (if you manage to get your superintendent in bed, the game will self destruct and you will forever be remembered as the Minnesota Mastodon o' Love).

Once you scout your target, the next step is to woo them. This would be done using the guitar controller that comes with Guitar Hero. You have to show your mad strumming skillz and make them swoon for you. As soon as you do this, you have to then use the Wii Fit Balance Board to prove your sexual prowess. Rock, roll, sway, whatever it takes to bring them to the brink of ecstasy.

Money can be earned by winning track meets and these are run by jogging in place on the Wii Fit Balance Board. While it may sound unnecessary as the goal is to get in bed, this money is necessary so you can purchase energy boosts in the form of tangerine Tic-Tacs and Hot Pockets. You can also improve your running by purchasing deodorant that can be used as leg lube as well as progressively showier shorts. Given enough money, you might be able to afford the Cadillac of running outfits... Velcro tear-away shorts. This purchase would benefit you both on the track and in bed.

However, there is a catch... if you do successfully woo a classmate but you subsequently fall flat on your face in bed, your name and details of your inadequacies will be posted up to a pseudo MySpace profile and you will have to start over from a level below where a normal person would start the game. Also worthy of note, if your guitar skills are not up to par, you will wind up using the Wii Fit Balance Board to run in place to work off your sexual frustration. These runs will not earn you money as they are not school-sanctioned track meets. And you will not be able to move on to another target until the frustration level -- as determined by the immensity of the peer rejection and negative comments on your MySpace profile -- is worked off.

I can see this game being HUGE! Bigger than Ellen Page's belly!

Anyone out there with programming skills want to work on this one with me?

I wonder what other movie tie-in games I can come up with?

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Okay, "Semi Related Aside." Katie and I broke out the Connect Four board last night and started playing. I wish I had a Web cam running because it was funny to watch as the game started friendly, but quickly became a study in human competition. After just a couple rounds, we started playing it like it was some city park speed Chess game... just slamming the checkers into the grid square with no time between for play consideration. It was fun! Well, save for Katie throwing a checker or two at me. I think I wound up sleeping on one last night.

Hey now, you're an all star...

Hey all! Welcome to Snippet Wednesday #7. Buckle up!

Ninja
Just as I was clearing out the junk mail in my Gmail account, I caught a subject line that actually might've made me read had I not already known that the sender was a notorious spammer. It said "Ninja attacks in NYC's Times Square." How cool! Hey, I've got tons of NYC friends. Anybody witness or been victim of ninja attacks?? Any pictures??

Yeah, that's what I thought. Bummer. No cool stuff ever happens.

Stars
For the first time in my life, I actually watched (and listened to) the MLB All-Star Game. I have no idea why I committed myself to that whole damn thing. It was 15 freakin' innings after all. I started it with a friend after work, then continued it on the radio while I drove home, and then Katie flipped it on as we were trying to fall asleep. I can't imagine having been a fan watching it in person in NYC where it didn't end until 1:30 or so in the morning. Time to call in dead to work.

Poehlerized
So Amy Poehler is being considered for a leading role in the new spinoff of The Office set to debut after the Super Bowl in February, eh? Could be interesting. I'm not a huge Poehler fan, but she could be good. Personally, I'd love to see her real-life husband, Will Arnett, in the show. Maybe just in wildly inappropriate cameos like David Koechner currently does in the primary version of the show as Todd Packer.

Desnudo
Apparently, Megan Fox wants to star in a movie in which she's naked 100% of the time. I don't see any problems with this. Do you?

Windmill
This is the coolest thing in the world (well, until the next coolest thing comes along)... a Lego windmill! Two feet tall and it actually works on battery power. Sadly, I doubt we'll see any of these dotting the sides of the highways. That would be a lot of Legos. But I want one!

Knighted
For those of you following me on Twitter, you already know, but Katie and I got our tickets to see The Dark Knight at 9:15 a.m. on Friday on our local IMAX screen. I can't remember how long it has been since I've geeked out this much. Well, probably last night, but still.

You've been thunderstruck...

Well, it's been three weeks since I returned my iPod to the store, they lost it, they found it, and, finally, they lemon'd it out. I now have my new iPod Classic, as it's been dubbed. But there's an interesting little twist to the story...

I got to the store and they went through my massive collection of receipts and service orders on my old iPod to determine how much was paid for the last one so I knew what trade-in value I would have. Turns out I spent just about $300 on the old one. The new Classics are $250 for the 80GB and $350 for the 160GB. I asked if I could get the 80GB and use the residual value toward the cost of a service plan or some accessories. They said no, if I opted for the 80, they would price up the value of it to match the $300 I previously spent. However, if I wanted the 160, I would have to pay the difference. Basically, either way, they would gain money off me.

Well, it didn't strike me as fair to lose money, so, with Katie's blessing via text message (she was in class), I opted for the 160 figuring I'd rather pay out a little more than lose out entirely. As I'm waiting in line and prepping another text to Katie, I look up and there she is! Her class was canceled because her teacher is stuck in Colorado due to weather.

We continue our wait in line and are prepping ourselves to spend about $110 ($50 difference in cost plus the $59.99 for a new service plan). The guy rings it all up and announces our total of $60.04 and asks how we'd like to pay. Katie, very nonchalantly, replies that we'll pay by card and we do and we leave.

Outside, Katie and I look at each other and I ask, "how did that just happen?"

Katie's reply? "I have a v-neck shirt and big boobs."

Hey, sex sells. What can you say?

Note 1: Upon looking at the receipt, we discovered that instead of trying to calculate the difference, the register jockey decided to apply a discount to the cost of the new one. All we paid for was the service plan.

Note 2: I filled this thing up with all the music on my computer plus three full-length movies and I've still only got a whopping 25GB taken up. Time to work on that, eh? Might have to pull some stuff off my archive DVDs.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): On the way home from the store, I looked in the direction of our house and saw some of the wickedest storm clouds I'd ever seen in my life. And, thankfully, I had my camera handy. Here's a gallery...

You will need to click through from your feed reader (at least from Google Reader, anyway) to check this thing out. Sorry, I cannot control the fact that readers don't work with this and I love this applet too much to not use it. Or you can just go straight over to Flickr.

Peace and love and who's number one...

Welcome to Snippet Wednesday #5! 5 is my lucky number. Always has been. So why does it feel like it's luckier for you this time around than it is for me? Oh, that's right, because today is the day I announce the winner of the Wii Fit Sock contest and I have to pay for shipping. That's why! Well, anyway, that's at the end of this post. If nothing else, I'll make you read this whole thing before you find out who won. NO SCROLLING TO THE END, YOU CHEATERS!

Byzantine
I love this like nothing else. An internal Microsoft memo was leaked written by Bill Gates to his former minions regarding the insanity he experienced trying to download some software from the MIcrosoft Web site. It's funny as hell to read. But what's strange is that, even though I'm a Certified Mac Whore (tm), I must admit that I've never experienced this level of Hell on the MS site. Of course, I've never really downloaded much more than copies of IE and a multitude of security patches and upgrades for their software, but still and all the same. I do hope this is legit and not some joke post.

Tipping
Just to avoid any confusion regarding yesterday's post, Katie and I are good tippers and we've never not tipped a waiter. Typically we tip about 20% and have been known to give more (especially when Dave2 follows up with table dancing). But, if they give crappy service, they will receive a crappy tip. That's the truth.

Scranton
First it was The Office Convention last October, now it's The Office Games this month to launch the new video and board games that are associated with the funniest show on TV. And the whole shebang will be presided over by Mindy (Kelly Kapoor) Kaling. Man, Scranton gets all the cool stuff (I keed, I keed). But, at least the games will eventually be released to the rest of us non-Scranton residing folk.

Helmethead
I went to my parents' house yesterday during my lunch break to go through some boxes of stuff I had in their crawl space. I got rid of a box, condensed a few others, and brought some stuff home, much to Katie's chagrin. The loot included a collection of sports and non-sports cards, my autographed David Mack Kabuki comics and trade paperbacks, my collection of KISS stuff from my friend Mike, and this gem...

It's a kids batting helmet for the Pittsburgh Pirates that my grandfather (Pop Pop) gave me probably when I was about two years old. I never got rid of it and I'm glad I didn't. It's pretty sweet, although it only barely fits my huge head. I kinda had to slam the top of it to get it that far down my skull and it left welts. Go fig, eh?

I think I'm going to start a Flickr album with all the cool crawl space swag I find. Eve may be interested in the KISS stuff I dug up. Some seriously cool shit in there.

Five
I guess five is lucky for more than just me, though. It's SJ's five-year blogiversary (spread out over 13 different blogs, apparently) this week. I know we're already like halfway through the celebration, but go give her some love!

Socks
Okay, now let's figure out who won the free pairs of Wii Fit Socks. I promise you that I have not worn them... yet. We had entries from Sheila (Charm School Reject), BA, Odie, Scott, Beth, and MadIrishMan (I think).

As much as I'd like to see those socks come back to me as the wrapping paper around a copy of Donnie Brasco, I'm going to have to DQ MIM since I don't think his was a legitimate entry. And BA made me jealous by taunting me with the fact that he now has a copy of Wii Fit. Grrrrr... And, Scott, sorry, while it was quite celebratory in nature, that was a brain-numbing amount of exclamation points. Gah.

So our winners are:

• With her creative English contractions - Sheila
• With her promise of green polka dots contrasting with purple skin - Odie
• With her desire to not share toe jam amongst family members - Beth

Congrats! E-mail me your mailing addresses and I'll send them out as soon as possible.

Winner takes it all, loser takes a fall...

Time for Snippet Wednesday #2! (and there was much rejoicing... yay.)

Closer
Katie and I started watching the TNT series The Closer on DVD recently and are loving it. The final disc of season one should be in today from Netflix and then we're on to season two. We've also set the DVR to catch any episode it can find including the upcoming season four. I mean it, we are hooked. Katie walks around using Kyra Sedgwick's twang as she says "thank yewwwwww." And me? I just get a kick out of seeing G.W. Bailey who was always one of my faves in the Police Academy series. Overall, though, the cast rocks.

To all you people who are Closer whores (I know I read a post from one of you recently, but I cannot find it for the life of me now), does it really stay this good throughout the series or are we setting our expectations way too high?

Gag
Does our gag reflex get more sensitive as we age? I ask because, while I'm brushing my teeth, I also brush my tongue to get rid of that morning/dragon breath that tends to occur. Bear in mind that I don't brush that far back on my tongue at all, but it seems like my desire to toss, and thus ruin all my brushing efforts to that point, is heightened of late. Sometimes it's so bad, I start to see stars. Can't be good, right?

Spam?
We've all had the discussion about deleting spam comments from our blogs in the past. If it's garbage and it has nothing to do with the topic at hand, nix it, right? Well, what if it's from someone you don't know, a company actually that is promoting sex paraphernalia, but the comment they leave actually is related to a post? Not just in some peripheral way, either (for example, saying "Oh, I totally agree with you" and not being more specific). This referenced my actual post. Are spambots getting that intelligent that they scan your text to develop smarter comments or do you think this was a legitimate comment? Nix or keep?

Playlist
It's time for a little spring cleaning of my iPod playlist. No, not the big iTunes Master List, but the smaller subset that always makes it on my iPod. It was already pretty small as it is but it will be even smaller. To the point where having a larger iPod almost seems foolish.

Out of curiosity, though, do you ever clean up your playlist? If so, what criteria do you use to make the decision what to nix? Is it like clothing... if you haven't worn (listened to) it in such-and-such amount of time, it's gone?

Pod
Speaking of iPods, with the warranty-related problems I've been having, I'm thinking about just swapping out for one of the new iPod Nanos. I may do this today, even. With this trade-in, Best Buy will kick in their lemon rule and allow me to swap and the next available iPod is the whopper 80GB, and this just seems like a ridiculously large iPod to own. I don't see the purpose in having such a large damn iPod that I wouldn't even fill up 25% of the way. If I could use it as a portable hard drive, then I could see it. But each time I plug my Mac-formatted iPod into a Windows-based PC (computer at work), it always prompts for a reinstall of the firmware and won't read it without me doing this, so hard drive usage of this iPod is non-existent unless I never use it on anything other than my home computer. So whaddaya think? A Nano? In anticipation of picking up one of the new iPhones down the line? Sadly, I have no choices other than this. The swap must be done within the same product line.

Winner
First of all, a big thank you to everyone that chimed in last Friday to congratulate me on #1,000.

As for the winner of the contest, I counted up the number of correct answers for each entrant and then employed a highly scientific method by which to pick a number; well, not really. But it still seemed to work and thus we have our winner. And it is... [drum roll, please]... #63...

KILAX! Drop me a note and let me know if you'd prefer a gift card for Amazon or iTunes and I'll figure out how to get it to you.

Boom, here comes the boom...

I'm starting to wonder if I should just declare Snippet Wednesdays. Everybody seems to have themes of some sort... Dave's Bullet Sundays, ajooja's Friday Bullets, Avitable's Lazy Sundays... and they all center on weekends. I think we need to give some recognition to the middle of the week. So, yeah, I'm declaring this the Snippet Wednesday #1 (even if I've done these on Wednesdays before, this is the official start)!

Obama
Well, Barack Obama has apparently sealed the nomination for the Democratic Party. And I still don't know who I'm voting for. No, this doesn't mean I want to vote for McCain. I don't. I guess I keep hoping for some killer third-party candidate to come along.

I think I've finally nailed down why I'm suddenly so indecisive and negative. In the beginning, I was all about Obama. I bought into his promise of change. And yet I've seen nothing but the same shit only amplified over past campaigns. I was expecting the "change" to start with campaigning. I thought he'd remove himself from the mud slinging that typified American politics. In fact, I expected him to. And he didn't. He just dove right into the pit and began flinging like everyone else. And this Democratic Party campaign has been more divisive than most I remember.

Obama's luster, in my mind's eye, has been tainted by his willingness to participate in bullshit politicking.

Death?
No, this is not a snippet dedicated to Brandon's wife.

If you were given the choice between certain death at the hands of an invading army or an uncertain future being whisked away to an alien world, which would you choose? This was the dream my brain graced me with in the 10 minutes of snooze time I had this morning. An army, much akin to the invading Latin American army in Red Dawn (they were advised by Russians, otherwise they spoke perfect Spanish; never noticed that when you watched the movie as a kid, didya?), was barreling through all U.S. towns killing everyone. Then, when they got far enough away, they would wipe out the remainder of the town with a nuke.

However, aliens that looked like a cross between Whitley Streiber's vision (not modern teenage girls) and those from Shyamalan's Signs and other more recent films were preceding the army offering the chance for people to go with them to their world. But there was no way to know if this was going to be some paradise or a human smorgasbord.

If you had to make a choice right then and there, what would it be?

One thing is for sure, I'm never hitting the snooze bar again.

Games
I'm upset with both Target and Circuit City right now. Their Sunday ads looked like they were offering some cool stuff with a couple of new release video games this week and I wanted them.

Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures came out and Circuit City was offering a T-shirt and Belloq Lego. I could give a rat's ass about the T-shirt, but I thought it would be cool to have a Lego minifig that looked like Belloq in his Jewish ceremonial garb from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Well, that was how I interpreted it with how quickly I glanced at the ad. So I went into CC yesterday only to discover that Belloq was an unlockable character in the game and not a toy to use with my Indiana Jones Legos. Dammit. (You'll have to forgive that I'm not a big gamer so "unlockable" didn't register in my head as video game jargon.)

Target's ad promised some cool swag with copies of Guitar Hero on the Nintendo DS. I have no idea how Guitar Hero would play on the DS, but color me intrigued by both it and the swag. So I went in there only to discover that the game isn't coming out until the 22nd. I've seen CC and Best Buy advertise ahead of time, but never Target. Even the sales guy was confused by this tactic.

I walked out without buying anything at either place. Since there's no free shit to be had yet, I must wait until it's more cost effective to buy them. I need to save up some coin to pay the balance on my copy of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith coming out soon.

Explosion
I've heard of some great excuses for why an online service has been rendered temporarily unavailable in the past, but this one takes the cake.

StatCounter, the service I use to count hits on my site, was giving me single and very low double digit counts over the weekend. At first, I wondered how I offended so damn many people. But yesterday, I found a post on the StatCounter blog explaining that they had an explosion at one of their data centers. A big explosion.

Not that I'm doubting the authenticity of this story. It's just a whopper of a tale, don't you think?

Daisies
Pushing Daisies was ranked in an AOL poll as the best new TV show. Cool! Totally deserved although I would've also been happy with that honor going to Eli Stone.

Contest
Oh yeah, I've got a little celebrating to do on Friday and I hope you'll join me. There will be a giveaway. But you have to be a commenter on this site. Not a regular one... a single comment will do. So if you're a lurker and want to participate, comment on any post sometime before Friday to be eligible. Details will be forthcoming.

Nevermore
Best. 404. Error. Screen. Ever.

I see your true colors...

Oh holy hell, Mother's Day is coming up (Update for Diane: It's Sunday, May 11). This, in my pained world of stacked holidays also means that my mom's birthday is nigh. Do I have any idea what to get her? Of course not. That would require a little something known as "forethought," a concept I have yet to grasp after 33 years.

So imagine my sheer delight when I see an e-mail in my inbox from Apple with the subject line "Find gifts to make Mom smile." Well, not that my mom is a Certified Apple Whore (tm) like Dave or myself, but whose to say there won't be something kinda cool in there?

What do I do? I actually open the damn thing and am greeted with this...

Ah hahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha. ha. A MacBook?!?! For Mother's Day?!?! My Dear Apple, let's get something straight... I love my mom, but I can barely afford a MacBook for Katie and myself let alone one for somebody else. Even if she is my mom. Even if she would take this opportunity to remind me that she spent some God-awful number of hours in labor with me (it was more than a day, for the record).

But you tell me what's better here... buying her something more reasonably priced (like waayyyyyy less than the $1,100 price tag on a low-end MacBook) or buying her something lavish like this, winding up in the poorhouse, and subsequently being forced to move back home with her and my dad. That's a lose-lose for all involved.

Sure, Apple had more than just this MacBook in the e-mail, but after seeing this as the first thing listed, do you really think I bothered looking any further in the message? Hell no. For all I know, they probably asked me to buy her a MacBook Air or a Pro or an entire friggin' farm of Xserves, not that she'd have any idea what to do with them.

Quick tip, Apple, build up to the expensive recommendation next time.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Not only is Tony still alive, but he's gone rogue!

Yeah, baby!

On the Dark Side, woah, yeah...

Once again, Katie and I have begun to look into some new computers. Likely a pair of laptops, but not necessarily at the same time. I need one I can use for work and she needs one she can use for school.

As you all probably know, we're both Mac whores, no question about our status in this regard whatsoever. However, for a little bit, I actually considered jumping ship and buying a Windows laptop for myself and a Mac for Katie. Why? Well, price primarily. Macs are not cheap.

Guess what else I discovered? Neither are PCs. Once you get them to a proper performance level anyway.

The thing about Macs is that they are built pretty standard. With one company doing all the design and construction of them, they wind up pretty much the same. Sure, you can tweak with higher RAM and HD space and the like, but it's not at all like when you visit, say, Dell.com and start to build there. I thought for sure I'd be able to save some dimes by building myself a custom laptop. So I tried it out.

Well, I had some things I needed to do with my computer. I needed a working copy of Windows XP. And there isn't a single purveyor of Windows laptops (recognized purveyor anyway) that loads their computers with XP as an operating system. You can pay them to wind it back, as it were, to XP from the dreaded Vista and the quote I got from Best Buy for that was $300 for a copy of XP and $130 to install it. That alone took just about all their laptops up over the $1K mark even before tacking on a service plan. Even the low-end systems. On Web sites where you custom build your laptop, I couldn't even find the option to purchase XP anywhere.

Speaking of low-end systems, if I were to stick with Vista instead, I would need to make sure that my RAM was at least 2 MB and my processor was greater than 2GHz. Anything less with Vista is just pathetic. Sure, I can go out and buy myself a little Toshiba laptop for $599 just about anywhere. But have you tried really taking Vista through the curves using the default system that comes on a computer that costs that little? It may work for less memory intensive apps, but the hogs I use like Adobe Creative Suite 3 ain't gonna play nice here. Vista, by itself, is a system hog and taxes everything you've got beyond belief. So, once I mark higher processor speeds and RAM quantity as needs, I'm up over $1.5K as well. Unacceptable.

The Macs that I'm pricing right now come in well under this mark.

I guess I know what this means... I'm back to the good side of computing. The Apple side. And we're going to buy two Macs. It's just a matter of when now. And it should be soon. The need is really here.

You may as well mark the roof of our house with a giant white Apple.

Go Speed Racer, go...

Oh sweet Mary, mother of God, I've been on a major geek high since yesterday at lunch!

I love, love, love it!

First, I was attempting to pick up a gift for Katie to give at a baby shower. The gift was available on the couple's Babies 'r' Us gift registry. However, since most of the Babies, Kids, and Toys 'r' Us stores have shut down or merged in recent years, I wasn't quite sure where to go find an actual BRU. So I went to the local TRU.

Well, they didn't have what I was looking for. But they certainly had what I wasn't looking for! An entire wall of Speed Racer movie tie-in products! Holy crap! I sat there looking for something like 10 minutes debating what I wanted. I knew I had to get something. Then I found it! The Holy Grail of Speed Racer products. The Lego Speed Racer sets!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

There are four kits total, but TRU only had two in stock. The first is Speed himself with Snake Oiler, the second is Racer X with Taejo Togokahn, the third is Cruncher Block and Racer X, and the fourth is Grand Prix Race.

Oh too freakin' cool! I bought the Mach 5, of course. And built it. During the remainder of my lunch break. And I have pictures for you all (note: you can't see the photos in your feed reader; you'll have to click through; sorry, I have no control over this)! I plan to build Snake Oiler during lunch today.

I totally need to dig through my old Legos for one of those pirate set monkeys so I can have a Chim Chim.

The Second Coming of the Geekification (tm) manifests itself in the Mario Kart Wii Driving School Tour that will be coming to Chicago in May!

Lessons! Competitions! And a free personalized license!

Is there such a thing as Geek Overload? If so, I'm a chronic sufferer.

Hit me with your best shot... fire away...

Okay, prior to the E3 conference in 2007, it was announced on IGN that Gibson Guitars had become an official partner with Activision, the creators of the ridiculously successful Guitar Hero series of games, so that the guitars that would be released with the then-upcoming Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock game would be styled after Gibson axes and bear the Gibson logo on the headstock.

The game has been out for months now on, I believe, all modern console video game stations. Again, it sold like wildfire. Hell, even I have it and love it because I'm rocking out with my Wii-model Gibson Les Paul, one of the finest guitars known to man.

Fans are happy, Activision is happy, and Gibson Guitars is happy.

Er... maybe not.

ComputerWorld reports that Gibson is claiming a patent infringement against Activision. They own a patent, filed in 1999, for technology that is intended to simulate a musical performance. Now, they believe Activision has violated it with Guitar Hero.

Never mind that this infringement claim was filed only this January... after three iterations of Guitar Hero have been released on multiple video game systems over the past three years... after Gibson became an OFFICIALLY LICENSED PARTNER WITH THE COMPANY MAKING THE GAME!

If you feel a company is violating a copyright, why the hell would you partner with them? Maybe I'm just a simpleton, but wouldn't this partnership imply some sort of tacit approval of the product that bears your logo and design work?

Wouldn't this be like the NFL suing Reebok for making replica jerseys after giving Reebok permission to use both the NFL logo and all the team logos on said jerseys?

How fucking stupid is this?

Oh, for the record, I have begun playing it just on trial mode to get used to it before I start a career or whatever they call it. I freakin' love it! My best songs are Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" on which I scored a 98% and Mountain's "Mississippi Queen" that, on my first try, I nailed with 100%.

Now that I've played through all eight of the songs available in trial mode, I need to get working on that career.

RAWK!

By the way, I'm still waiting for Dave to create stickers of his Lil Dave with a Wii guitar so I can put it on my mini-Les Paul. Because that would just be cool.

I'm blue, if I were green I would die...

It's been several months, but Katie thinks Bernard is finally making a return "appearance" in our house. And we think he's become a bit of a tech snob. In a good way, of course.

For the last month or so, I've had a laptop at home from work. I have it because I need Windows to run some programs and we don't yet have a Mac with an Intel processor so I can get Boot Camp and a copy of XP. So the Dell laptop has been my Band-Aid approach to remedying the situation.

On Sunday, I fired up the laptop to get some stuff done. Before I even reached the login screen, I received the dreaded BSoD (Blue Screen of Death) with what had to be the longest error message in the history of computing. Most BSoDs are just a couple lines of text that mean nothing to the average human other than "Oh crap, my computer's FUBARd!" All I remember from this message was something about a physical memory dump and I needed a restart. So I did.

The second go-round, it started and I logged in fine. Did a couple things, saved them, and then the whole system just spontaneously died. No BSoD, no warning, no nothing. Just died.

So I rebooted again. Right after I logged in, the viewable area of the screen collapsed to the upper 40% of the monitor and started racing back and forth sideways. It was like watching speedlines in anime.

Third time was the charm for me, so I shut it down and took it to the IT department yesterday morning. My tech guy checked it out for several hours, ran what he called "the most thorough diagnostic check I've ever performed in my life," and found nothing. No notes in the log files at all. Not one indication that the system had crashed or that there had been a BSoD or anything.

Katie is now convinced that we have created a monster; that Bernard has become a Mac freak because we leave our iMac on for him to play with when we're gone. And now he doesn't want anything else in our place. PCs not allowed, so he kills them. Hey, my Mac has spontaneously awoken from sleep in the middle of the night. I've seen it happen. Just wakes up for no reason whatsoever.

I guess we can add another bullet to the list... Mac owners are more likely to be found in the spirit world than PC users.

Hey, can't fault Bernard for having good taste.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Kristy Yamaguchi, Adam Carolla, Priscilla Presley, Shannon Elizabeth, Steve Guttenberg, Marlee Matlin, Monica Seles, Penn Jillette, Jason Taylor, and a couple others. Hey, you had me at Yamaguchi. I'm tuning in!

Lovin', touchin', squeezin'...

So I was back at Goodwill yesterday scanning the book racks (yes, again) and I saw one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.

On one shelf, I found a copy of Pregnancy for Dummies. Not only did I have no idea that such a Dummies book existed, but I found it odd that someone suddenly felt they had no use for the book anymore. I'm afraid to ask for a clarification of the circumstances surrounding the decision to donate it. But something tells me that if you either felt the need to buy it at one time or someone felt the urge to buy it for you, you should probably never get rid of it.

But wait! It gets better.

It was sitting on the bookshelf labeled "TEEN."

Heh heh. Someone must've really hated Juno.

On a semi-related note and to be filed under "This World Would Be So Much Better If Rick Hilton Had Just Wrapped His Wang" comes this little gem from everyone's favorite socialite... Paris is putting out (heh heh) a line of girls dolls.

Blissfully, mercifully, thankfully (I feel like I'm writing the next Journey hit), they are not sculpted in her image, just designed by her.

So who wants to be the first person to come up with a new doll name to be added to the line?

On a related aside, I love how Wikipedia's filmography for Paris lists 1 Night in Paris (her porn) as one of her "films." Funny stuff.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): No wait, I guess, considering I was talking about Paris Hilton, this could still be considered "related." Meh, semantics. Oh, and NSFW.

Thank you, FunnyorDie.com.