Work

Quitter...

I had this great idea for a blog post today. Another good current events one, but I cannot find the news article and any Google search I perform comes up with older stories that are not at all the one I want. I don't know what happened. Weirdness abounds on the web. I'll keep searching, but, in the meantime, I'm bumping up a post I was holding until later.

Continue reading "Quitter..." »


Soup-er...

A coworker decided to run a charity drive at work that she calls the "Soup-er Bowl." To take part, you place a can of soup in the box representing a team you want to win in the NFL Playoffs that week. Then you do the same the next week and then again for the Super Bowl. Oh, and if you tell her that the Green Bay Packers are your favorite team, she will match your donation (she loves the Pack).

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Avocado...

Katie and I use a lot of avocados when we make our homemade guacamole. During one of our kitchen sessions a few years back, she informed me that avocado trees can be grown from the pits of avocados. Makes sense, right? So we looked up online how to do it.

We tried the instructions we found three times and, each time, we wound up with a rotted-out shell of the old avocado pit. Nothing ever happened.

Continue reading "Avocado..." »


Kickstart my heart, why don't you give it a start...

I went through CPR/AED recertification today. It has been a few years since I've renewed my knowledge and, damn, how things have changed.

Cpr_dummy As I recall, we were supposed to give 15 chest compressions for every two breaths back in the day (yanno, waaaaaaaaay back in 2007, a bygone era) for adults and 10:2 for kids. Or something like that. Just pray I don't have to save your life.

Now, however, according to American Heart Association standards, the ratio is now 30 chest compressions to 2 breaths regardless if you're an adult or a child. The only real change is how hard you press and the immediacy of your CPR actions as opposed to taking time to call 9-1-1 first, whatever.

And, according to my instructor, the European Union standards dictate 100 compressions with no breaths.

Why does something like this change so often and remain so truly unstandardized? Have human beings changed that much in such a short time that we need to adapt this lifesaving technique with this high a level of regularlity? Or is this going to be a butter vs. margarine argument where they keep going back and forth until the end of time as to which is better for you?

But 30:2 is pretty easy to remember... so long as my back and shoulders can hold out through that much chest pumping. I might have to take a break while my patient lies there dying. How inconsiderate of them to make me work so hard to save their life!

Bastards.

Apparently today is De-Lurking Day. Of course, the likelihood that you'll read about this fact before today becomes Friday is pretty minimal. But I'll give it a shot anyway. And, oh what the hell, I'll unofficially extend it through tomorrow. Because this is my blog and I can do that.

So, if you're someone who has been reading my site for a while and hasn't left a comment, why not start now? I don't bite... hard.

Delurkerday

If we took a holiday...

Happy Good Friday.

Yes, it's Good Friday and I'm at work.

I know many people take days like Good Friday off. Or, in many cases, they have the day off whether they asked for it or not.

At my job, it's not a mandated holiday. Instead we get a few "flexible holidays" throughout the year to account for some of those days that not everybody necessarily wants off. So, if someone does want Good Friday off, they can do so easily.

Me? I love working the holidays. To steal a line from Tony the Tiger, "they're gr-r-r-r-r-reat!"

Why? Two reasons:

  1. So many people do take these days off, so the office is practically empty by comparison to many other, normal days. I get so much work done due to a lack of interruptions, it's ridiculous.

  2. As pointed out by Dawg this morning (I thought it was Dawg anyway, but now I can't find the post anywhere... am I going nuts here? I swore he blogged about his commute into Manhattan being easy peasey this morning. WTF?), commute times are fantastic. I trimmed 15 minutes off my commute time this morning because no one, I repeat no one, was on the road.

So, yeah, sign me up for holidays and that week between Christmas and New Year's when someone needs to cover the office. I love 'em!

Today was the final day of voting for my new baseball team to root for this season. When it comes to new teams, the #1 vote getter was the St. Louis Cardinals with #2 being the Tampa Bay Rays. A bunch of others came in with a single vote each with my favorite single-team vote rationale coming from Le Sombre.

However, it you were to look at pure votes for any team, the top choice was to stick it out with the Cubs. I got all sorts of crap from some people for it. Some of the comments were kind reminders that I should be true to my team. Others... not so kind. I do feel kinda bad, though, as it does come off sounding like I now hate the Cubs. But this is not the case at all. I'm just bored by them. It's not exciting to watch them play. I do want them to do well. I do want them to win the World Series. Honestly. I hope they prove my lack of faith wrong and show me up. But, in my heart of hearts, I don't see this being the case. That's why I was looking for a different team to root for. Not a new favorite team, per se, just some other team that is exciting and fun and can reinvigorate my love of the game.

And now that I re-read my post, I realize that I never actually said I would pick the top vote earner, did I? Does that mean I can pick any of the nominated teams? It would certainly seem that way.

So, you know what? I'm defecting leagues here and jumping back to the American League that for so long held my love. I'm going with Le Sombre's suggestion and rooting for the Twins this season. And it works nicely with my Harmon Killebrew bat and the fact that I've always been a Kirby Puckett fan (the player; his personal life in the final few years, not so much). So, fuck yeah. Go Minnesota!

Twins_logo

Oh yeah, and I already have the hat.


Oh baby, it's cold outside...

So, say that hypothetically, I was going to be in Nashua, New Hampshire, on business starting late on February 3 and leaving very early in the morning on February 6. What would one do in that area for fun during the times I'm not working?

Nashuamap

Anybody out there know anything about Nashua? I don't.

There are catches: I won't have a rental car. I'm not sure what kind of public transportation I'll have available either. And I'm limited to post 5 p.m. time slots on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th.

Any ideas?

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): We tried to open the backdoor for Lilly to just go to the bathroom in the backyard. Thought it would be easier. On both of us.

Turns out the backdoor is frozen shut. Won't budge a bit.

Katie's now pretending to bang on the doors and shout for help as though we're trapped in our own house.

Good thing we have no neighbors behind us. I'd hate to have to explain this one to the cops.


Let me see what life is like on Jupiter and Mars...

I'm looking for a dog expert here.

I guess I'd even settle for a dog novice.

Just somebody who can explain to me the purpose behind the "marking your territory" phenomenon.

Why? Why do dogs do this and how exactly does it help them lay claim to a specific patch of land?

I've walked Lilly dozens upon dozens of times and have watched as she's stopped in mid stride, lifted a leg, and allowed a few small droplets of urine to fall out onto a specific spot. It could be grass, a garden, a sidewalk, a bush, rocks, a stray leaf, or some other dog's pile of poop.

Is it like Neil Armstrong landing on the moon and sticking the U.S. flag in it? So the moon is now ours and anybody else that ever lands there needs to pay us rent like a game of Monopoly? Can we build a little green apartment for the little green men and charge more rent?

I've tried to make sense of her rationale. Why here? Why that rock?

I've got nothing.

But the most confounding thing to me is the occasional remarking of a spot on which she's already dribbled her yellow goodness.

If marking your territory is actually a dog's way to try and say to other animals, "hey squatter, that's mine!" then remarking makes no sense. I would think dogs, like humans, would want more and more territory and, to achieve this, they should mark new, unexplored areas, not the same old, same old. They should be striving for canine colonization, if you catch my meaning.

The only rationalization I can make for remarking is that dogs prefer Risk to Monopoly. By letting it flow multiple times on the same spot, when another dog challenges them for dominion, the one with the most pee wins. "Ha! I've got six droplets to your two! Move on or pay with your life, bitch!"

Am I just overthinking this?

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): I know I should be leaving for work right now. I need to get off my butt and go.

I just don't want to.

Make me.

Go!

Want sleep.

Need money.

Dammit. The almighty dollar won.

Adios.


Get up, get up, get busy, do it...

I work with computers. I have for years. So I've become quite accustomed to a rather sedentary work existence.

Occasionally I get up. Mostly bathroom breaks or a meeting here and there. I may go out for lunch. Never too much before I'm back in front of my computer working.

Today, however, has been an exception. My lunch break was actually the longest I sat down all day. I was all over the place. I can't even remember all the offices I've visited and tasks I've completed.

I wish I had a pedometer to tell you how much I've moved.

Suffice it to say, if I moved around like this every work day for six months straight, I'm convinced I'd look like this...

Balemachinist
[Christian Bale in The Machinist - a damn fine, albeit weird, movie]

Okay, this might be a bit of an exaggeration. But not by all that much.