kapgar

Down at the Sunset Grill...

While on a very spontaneous date night with Katie on Friday to our local Japanese steak house, I discovered what could easily be the greatest job in the history of mankind... Japanese grill chef.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about or have never experienced what this is all about, I suggest you find some way to watch the "Benihana Christmas" episode of The Office from last season. There's no BS in that episode at all about what they're capable of. In fact, if I discovered anything, they downplayed their abilities in that episode.

Our chef at Ju Rin in Geneva was a really nice guy named "Homero." He came out with our food and just started right into his routine. He was flipping bowls and plates, knives and spatulas. He created grilltop art out of rice making a Mickey Mouse for the kids at our table as well as a flaming (and pulsing) heart. Of course, he also created the requisite onion volcano, but he made his flame instead of just steam. He had the moves and the charisma to make it an enjoyable evening for all of us.

So let's review why this might just be the greatest job ever...

• Playing with knives... check.
• Playing with fire... check.
• Playing with your (or, better yet, other's) food... check.
• Impressing the women with your cooking ability... check.
• Entertaining everyone sitting around your table... check.
• Getting paid to do all this and more... yeah baby!

Where do I sign up?

And guys, just as a note, there are few better ways to impress your significant other than with a completely spontaneous date night. Katie and I were simply out shopping for some Christmas gifts when we decided we needed to eat. The way things were sounding, we were just going to pick something up and take it home to eat in front of the TV. However, the night before, NBC replayed the "Benihana Christmas" episode and that got me hankering for steak and sushi. I recommended that we go to Ju Rin (the local equivalent of a Benihana or Domo 77) instead of taking food home and Katie was just beaming about it.

Afterwards, we went to a local candy store called Graham's Chocolates (yes, the same one featured in a recent episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show) and picked up a few items to take home.

It was, simply put, the perfect evening.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Katie gave me my Christmas gift over the weekend. It was Guitar Hero III for the Nintendo Wii. Totally sweet, totally cool, totally perfect. Now I just can't wait to play it. Very soon. Oh yes, very soon.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA) #2: I need to apologize to all of you. It may seem as though I haven't been around much lately reading all your blogs. The truth is I haven't. I've been so strapped for time that it's been tough just blogging for myself let alone read everyone else's. But I have begun a catch-up campaign in which I plan to get up to date with the more than 1000 posts that have accumulated in my Google Reader. It isn't pretty. Especially when a daily poster like Dave has 10 feeds I need to catch up on. Yeah, that's how long it has been. I'm really sorry. I will get there. I promise.

Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'...

Katie and I were watching the news the other day and they had a special about successful women in the workplace and how difficult their personal lives are as a result of their professional ones. It was so bad, in fact, that one of the five or six women that were part of this panel interview had actually started a Web site dedicated to successful women attempting to find meaningful relationships.

This floored me. I know that there are many men who are threatened by successful women. They look at it as though their manhood is being trampled.

But I had assumed that the tide had been changing for a while now so that, ideally, maybe it would be a 50/50 split between those guys who are threatened and those who are not. From the sound of things, though, it doesn't seem as though this is the truth. It sounded as though none of the women interviewed had been able to find men who could deal with what these women represented.

Now, clearly, five or six women is not a truly representative sample of the full population of women in the workplace. In fact, it's likely that the panel members were screened ahead of time to get a sampling that was skewed in favor of the viewpoint that the news channel was hoping to present.

But, even so, you have to figure that there is still some truth to it all. And I find this sad. I find it sad that men can't handle the concept of a woman having greater success than them.

Why is it such a sin for a woman to make more money?

Katie and I decided a long time ago that, when we have kids, the one of us that is making the least money with the fewest benefits or who has the greater chance at being able to work from home would stay at home. We're both fine with this decision even now. We talked about it after the news report and we're still find with this choice.

Have any of you made this same decision? How has it worked out? Or have you been in situations similar to these women? This can be answered by the men reading this post, too. Let me know how you would feel if you were in this position.

BTW, got a meme for you in the extended post...

And it all started with a big bang...

One of the things I like about the new show The Big Bang Theory is the interplay of the four leading mangeeks. They do just what you would think four complete and utter geeks would do... play video games, debate scientific theories, insult each other using math equations, etc.

And, before you go and discount their portrayal as geek stereotyping, take this real-life exchange into account.

I was in a meeting with three guys from our IT department when one of them (to be referred to as IT Guy 2) started writing on a dry erase board. His handwriting on the board was absolutely miniscule. So tiny we could barely read it.

IT Guy 1: Yeah, he likes to write small.

Me: Ya think?

IT Guy 2: Is this really that small?

IT Guy 3: Um, yeah it is.

Me: Sorry, I'd never seen your handwriting before today... and I still can't.

IT Guy 1: I think he's writing in hi resolution. His brain is on 1024x768.

IT Guy 2: Actually it's 1600x1200.

IT Guy 3: In eight point font.

Me: Well, at least it's san serif.

And we all bust out laughing because to us, and probably to most of you, everything we said makes perfect sense.

So, while it may not have been the same level of sheer geekery as portrayed in The Big Bang Theory, our conversation was still pretty bad. And you can see that this sort of thing really does happen.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): I need to thank El Dariush who sent me a postcard from Rome during his recent trip. Well, actually I should clarify. The postcard is from Rome as in it was purchased in Rome. But Dariush doesn't love any of us enough to justify spending the money to actually mail it from Rome. This postcard has a South Central, KY, postmark.

I know you, you know me...

Sometimes it amazes me how mine and Katie's lives have intersected in terms of the people we know. Yeah, I know it's expected now that we're married and whatnot. But to think that some of these crossovers would likely have happened even if we never met is kinda weird.

For example, one of my best friends growing up was a guy named C (clearly not really his name) and one of Katie's best friends was a girl named K (yes, there are lots of Ks in our lives). In college, I met K because we both held similar jobs and became coworkers. Katie met C and became best friends with him. Katie and I met each other's childhood friends before we met each other. Oh yeah, did I also mention that C and K dated for a long time and, I believe, were even engaged? So this constitutes a nice little four-person crossover.

Another example... Katie's principal in grade school was a woman named S. This woman later became Katie's boss when she returned to this school to teach for a while after graduating from college. Shortly afterward, S retired from that job and took another job... where I worked (prior to my current job). Katie's old principal and boss became my coworker.

Well, it has happened again.

In grad school, I had a second job outside of my grad assistant responsibilities because it was good extra money. The job was at a small hardware store and it helped me become acquainted with many of the tools and skills I now use to work around the house. The owner of this hardware store was a guy named R. In this day and age of the giant hardware megamarts like Lowe's and Menard's and Home Depot, R's little hometown hardware shop just couldn't compete. Since I graduated and left his employ, R has downsized his shop to a third the size it was before and now he is trying to sell it. In the meantime, to make money to support his family, he took another job... and became Katie's assistant manager. He just started a couple days ago.

Hey, Universe! While this is cool and all, it's also a bit freaky. Can you stop now?

The sky's the limit but my plane won't fly...

Paid Time Off...

Floating Vacation Days...

Personal Days...

Basically all are just different ways of noting that I have days off coming to me at work. But they're all designated differently. Some roll over from year to year, some expire at the end of a calendar year. With all this terminology, how is one supposed to keep it all straight?

I looked at my pay stub a week ago and discovered that I have one day's worth of personal days and three days worth of floating vacation days and they have to be used by the end of the year or I will lose them. Wait a second. I went on a five-day vacation at the end of May to Las Vegas. Why weren't they used up then?

Seems in my confusion over all this terminology, I marked the wrong box on my vacation request. I made the mistake of chalking up my time off to the only option that does not expire at the end of the year. D'oh!

And now I'm in the, I suppose, enviable position of forcing myself to take four days off before December 31. I know some of you are probably wondering why I'm whining. Wouldn't we all like extra time off? Well, yeah, and I've got plenty to do at home to keep me busy what with our wall project and everything. But I've got plenty to keep me busy at work as well. And trying to plan days off around my projects is never easy.

But I'll be damned if I'm going to lose these days. That's why I'm home today. I got to sleep in and, for the first time in a long time, was actually home while Katie was leaving for work. She's usually still asleep when I leave, so this is quite the change.

So I'll do some work on the walls, surf a bit, maybe watch Hot Fuzz since I got it from Netflix, meet Katie for lunch, work out, etc.

This grand list of potential accomplishments, of course, means I might get one of the above done. Probably the one about surfing.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): I was in a Starbucks the other day and I noticed a sign by the register advertising a recall on children's mugs. The notice claimed that if the mug fell, it would likely shatter and, thus, create pieces with sharp edges.

Well duh.

Are we going to recall all ceramic, glass, wood, Plexiglas, and plastic products now? They all create sharp edges when broken.

Does anyone else think the Consumer Products Safety Commission is going a little overboard these days? A lot of these very same problems existed throughout my childhood and I like to think I turned out okay. I almost think the CPSC exists so people can be slack-ass parents.

Don't leave me high...

This is an excerpt of a conversation I had yesterday with my office mate (MyOM)...

Me: So I discovered why the break room has three different coffee pots. One decaf is for full strength and one is for half strength. The regular pot is for full strength caffeinated. They use one and a half packets of grounds for full strength and one packet for half strength although that doesn't necessarily add up mathematically.

MyOM: Sounds a bit too complicated for me.

Me: I agree. I think they should all be the way I like it... black, regular, and strong.

[awkward silence]

Me: Umm...

MyOM: Yeah, I'm not going to touch that one.

Me: It really didn't sound quite so bad in my head.

MyOM: It never does.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): It was announced a few weeks back that Radiohead was going to ditch iTunes when they release their new album, In Rainbows. Their complaint was that, on iTunes, people could buy just a song or two and not the entire album. They feel their album is one complete narrative and that it should be purchased as an all-or-nothing deal.

Artistically, I can understand where they're coming from. But, as a fan, I think they're being selfish and bullheaded. That's the beauty of iTunes and other online music stores, you can buy what you want when you want it. And you'll own the music legally.

Then Radiohead made another announcement... In Rainbows is being offered up on their Web site in either discbox or download format and you pay what you think it's worth to you. Whether the amount is $0, the normal $10-15 for an album, or even more, you pay what you feel the album should be valued at. It's an interesting concept and one I'm willing to try. I'm especially willing since I'm not as big a fan of Radiohead's newer tunes. I much prefer their old stuff like The Bends and OK Computer. But, with that offer in place, I'll definitely give this new album a shot.

Upon further examination, you are subject to a transaction fee if you order the download as opposed to the discbox version. Not sure how much that is yet, but we shall see. Plus, if you order the discbox, you get it a week ahead of those who buy the downloadable format.

So what is Radiohead worth to you?

Call me...

More snippety goodness...

Caffeinated
There was regular coffee in the breakroom today! Yay me!

Cub-boom
Here's a quick note to anyone who knows that I am a Cubs fan and would like to tease me over the fact that the Cubbies are now down by two games to the D-Backs... yep, I realize it. And no, it doesn't phase nor upset me in the slightest. I am so desensitized by disappointment that any Cubs failure really does nothing to me. My expectation for success is about as high as my expectation that a Will Ferrell movie won't annoy me. Yeah, pretty low.

Now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.

Freebies
I love how the Apple iTunes Store gives stuff away for free. Most of the time, it's a B-side to a new album, or a music video, or some song by an artist or new TV show you've never heard of in a hope to give them a popularity boost. Whatever. The key is that it's free.

However, when the freebie is something that I know and love, it's all the better. Take, for instance, the free episode of American Dad that is currently being offered. It was this past Sunday's "Vacation Goo" episode which I thought was brilliant and left me in stitches. And to make it free? Score!

Overlay
I know it's common for areas to be "redistricted," for lack of a better way to word it, in terms of area codes for phone service. Heck, since I've lived in Illinois, I have had four area codes. The reason for this is because the proliferation of new technologies like fax machines and cell phones over the past couple decades has necessitated more numbers within an area code and, thus, the coverage area must shrink and new area codes must be added.

But what I hate is when overlay area codes are applied. This occurs when a single geographic area has two area codes working in it rather than redividing the area. This has already happened in other parts of the Chicago suburbs and now it will affect my area as well. We will soon see the 331 area code work in our 630 zone and all phones, faxes, cells, etc., must be reprogrammed because we must now dial the full 10 (or 11, if you need to use the 1, but cellphones don't need them) digit number to make a local call.

GRRRRRRR!!!

Redesign
I'm pretty sure I mentioned this on here somewhere recently, but I am going to make the jump to WordPress pretty soon. My hope was to have all this done by the middle of this month, but it doesn't seem to be happening. I've got so much crap going on that doing anything to my blog other than posting is just an impossibility. Heck, I haven't even transferred my domain over to a new host yet and that's really the first thing I need to do to make it a reality.

But I do think I finally have a photo in mind for my banner. That's one baby step in the right direction.

Speaking of redesign, I have two sites that I worked on in the past for friends and family to which I need to make some stylistic tweaks. Imagine my chagrin when I discovered that all the source files for these sites are nowhere to be found. Original raw images? Nothing. Layered Photoshop images? Nada.

This ticks me off. Now I have to recreate the images from scratch. So not fun.

Good to the last drop...

Having been a past part of the food service industry in two different capacities (host and server), there is one thing I'm very well versed in and I'd like to share that with you this morning.

At right is a black-rimmed coffee decanter. The black is indicative of the contents being fully caffeinated or "regular."

Caffeinated = what coffee was meant to be

Caffeinated = wakey wakey

Caffeinated = God's nectar

Caffeinated = important on a daily basis especially in an office environment

At left is an orange-rimmed coffee decanter. In this case, the orange helps servers and patrons, alike, know that the contents are decidedly decaffeinated or, if it's not regular, it must be "irregular."

Decaffeinated = no energy

Decaffeinated = sleep inducing

Decaffeinated = stripping coffee of centuries of hard-earned dignity

Decaffeinated = BLECH!

And this viewpoint is reflected daily in my office by the fact that the one black-rimmed decanter is almost always nearly empty while the two orange-rimmed decanters sit nearly full all day long.

Did you catch the irony in that statement? One caffeinated pot that is always low on contents while two decaf pots sit untouched. WHY? DEAR GOD WHY ARE THERE TWO POTS OF DECAF AND ONLY ONE REGULAR??? Is nobody paying attention to what the masses are clearly demanding? Are they intentionally attempting to create a non-productive work environment?

Yes, I know it's easy enough for me to brew a new pot of regular coffee. But, any of you coffee lovers out there know that when you want coffee, you want it that second. Not 10 or 15 minutes later when the pot finally stops brewing. The wait is hell.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Have any of you listened to Kanye West's new album Graduation? Any good? It's funny because all the hype seemed to be about the head-to-head sales competition between West and 50 Cent who both released new albums on the same day. However, I've heard jack about it since and never really heard much in the way of album reviews of either. All writing was focused on the competition.

Don't look at me, I don't want you to see me this way...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but whenever you take some sort of course on public speaking, be it a professional training course or just the basic 100-level communication class in college, one of the first things they teach you is to look up from your notes at the people who are in attendance, right? Another tip was to spread out where you look. Don't spend your entire presentation looking at one person.

Clearly, this last bit was missed by a woman presenting at this conference I finished attending yesterday. I swear to God, when she wasn't pointing to things on the projector screen, she was looking directly at me. No joke. Of the 75 minutes that the presentation lasted, she was looking at me for a good 65 of them.

Now, I realize I'm one sexy fine specimen of a human being (*COUGH* *COUGH* *HACK* *HACK*), and I can't say I blame you for wanting to look at me, but I really began to feel the jealous stares of those around me and I even think I caught on to the occasional envy-laced whisper.

Okay, all joking aside, please start looking elsewhere. You made me feel as though I really needed to pay attention to what you were saying. Almost like I was your confirmation of having done a good job during your presentation.

C'mon! What if I wanted to doze off, look at my Palm Pilot, read a book, or even scratch myself inappropriately? Not that I would actually do these, but you were clearly denying me my right to should I have felt the need! 

Next time, look at other people in addition to just me or whoever winds up being your visual target. Please?

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Looks like I'm by my lonesome tonight as Katie will be hanging with my mom and the SiL at a city-sponsored "Girls Night Out." Not entirely sure what that entails, but I suppose she'll find out.

I think I may see another one of those NSFK (Not Safe For Katie) movies. Once again, I need your votes to decide. Will it be...

• 3:10 to Yuma
• Death Sentence
• Balls of Fury
• Shoot 'em Up

You have until 5 p.m. to cast your vote. And choose wisely, my evening's entertainment depends on you!

But I'm running out of time...

How many of you take part in freelance work aside from what you normally do as part of your job?

If you do, I would like to ask if you have any personal policies in place regarding turnaround time for a project or just how you prioritize, period. If it's a good policy, can I steal it?

I do very little freelance work, in all honesty. Not much comes my way and, many times, I'm kinda happy about it.

But when it does come in, it's like a tsunami. It just floods in and seems to engulf my world. And, as would be expected, it happens at the most inopportune times. I can be sitting around for weeks with nothing to do just wishing for it. Then, when my personal and FT professional lives are inundated with things to do, *BLAMMO* the freelancing strikes.

I don't want to say no because that can be a death sentence for future projects. I opt out and the word gets around that I'm not willing and able and the well dries up entirely. So I take them, but I'll be darned if I've figured out a good time during which to get this stuff done.

Unfortunately, the personal pursuits always seem to suffer first. Time with Katie? Gone. Sleep time? Zippo. Gym time? Nuh-uh. Blogging opps? Nil.

This has been my life since Saturday. Some big updates to a site I manage came in and I've been trying to take care of them. It's not easy. Katie's been in bed and asleep well before me lately. I haven't been to the gym since Saturday. My blogging feels rehashed (c'mon... a recap of my Friday stats and an April retrospective? Not exactly teeming with originality... sorry).

I just want this project done and I want future ones to come in when I say so!

And to quote the great Wayne Campbell, "Sheeyah, right. And monkeys might fly outta my butt."