Stormin' Norman's Adventures

Half

My Hairless Wampa has a new obsession. It's a program for his handheld communicator called Halftone. This program allows him to use his photographs to create single-frame comic strips.

I'm frightened by the prospect of this program. I've seen a couple examples of his "art" and have attached them to this post.

I swear to Palpatine, if he turns me into some ridiculously farcical character like that damn Billy from Family Circus, so help me...

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Undercover

With the help of my loyal Tweep @mekagnana, I'm going undercover in the Galactic Bounty Hunter Guild to see what kind of depravity occurs.

I'm not sure what to expect and my very life may be laid on the line for the betterment of the Empire. But, if I pay the ultimate price, it will be worth it if Emperor Palpatine and Lord Vader further their stranglehold on the galaxy.

Wish me luck.

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Life

I'm not sure exactly why, but something inside tells me I might want to hold on to this.

Call it a hunch.

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Walkabout

It doesn't have to be about me all the time on this blog, does it?

Wait, why am I asking? This is my blog, I can make of it whatever I want, right?

I just asked again. STOP THAT, ME!

Anyway, I wanted to bring to light a charitable effort being made by one of my full-sized brethren in the formal penal colony of Australia.

Paul French is taking part in a 4,000 kilometre (I have no idea how that translates into miles or parsecs or whatever) hike in full Stormtrooper gear (although his footwear doesn't look like standard Imperial issue) from Perth on the west coast of the penal colony to Sydney on the southeast coast. The walk is being done as a fundraiser for the Starlight Foundation.

There is a gallery of photos on the web featuring him in his walk that I encourage you all to check out. And if you live in Australia, go show the guy some love. If you don't, we may both pull a Lars Homestead on you and your family. Just sayin'.

Good luck, Paul.

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Tribute

Just when you think there's no hope for Earth and its doomed citizenry, you receive a little gem like this in your e-mail and your faith is (semi) restored.

Evil_Cat_Grrl and Bite_Me of Your Daily SotA (Signs of the Apocalypse) felt it would be appropriate to show some love to good ol' TK-421 with a blog post.

Yanno what? That's just nice enough that I will reserve space for the two of them in my escape pod once all the charges are in place so I can finally push the button and destroy this wasteland of a planet.

Thanks, Evil_Cat_Grrl and Bite_Me!

But I feel I must clarify something. My Wampa is far from being a creative genius. He is merely a vessel to do my bidding. And not even a very good one at that. Everyone knows I'm the brains behind this outfit. He merely photographs and edits my exploits for me and provides me with server space to share them with all of you. He does not warrant space in said escape pod.

Burn, Wampa! Burn!

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Ultra

My Hairless Wampa was a bit of a slacker lately and, as a result, missed out on BrickWorld, the premier Chicago event at which to obtain brickyard goodness for the smallest yet most influential person in his life... ME!

Thankfully he had a coworker who was on the ball with scheduling and went with her two sons and bought me and the Tasty Trio some new toys... knives, a couple SMGs, an RPG, a bazooka, a sawed-off shotgun, an MGL, an M-14, five alien rayguns, and a cricket bat (for those pesky zombies)!

Thanks to both her and BrickArms.com for, well, *arm*ing us!

I feel a bit of the old ultraviolence coming on.

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Flirt

So, how *you* doin'?

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Punk

Petey decided he'd had enough of being the token "normal" Stormtrooper in our group.

He pointed out that Charr is a Shadowtrooper and gets to wear black armor while Shiny gets to blind everyone with his mirrored armor and I get a cool Squad Commander pauldron and a swank coffee mug. And Petey was just tired of it.

Today, he presented his new "look" to us.

Oh, and from here on out, he'd like to be called "Sid."

The three of us are dumbfounded.

Damn you, America and your "civil liberties." This would never fly on the Death Star.

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Wedding

While my Wampa and his Wampette slept thru the wee hours, I stole away with the remote control to the big plasma TV.

Much to my consternation, all I could find was live footage of some wedding going on several thousand miles away in a country that has no effect whatsoever on this country. And, yet, the media was glued to it. There were barely commercials, for Palpatine's sake! When TV programmers skip commercials and the promise of hundreds of thousands of dollars, you know it's a big deal.

But I don't understand *why* it's a big deal. Monarchies are silly. True political power derives from a single ruler with an ironclad grip on his subjects' every action. Particularly when that ironclad hand can shoot blue lightning at your butt.

Perhaps if that little old queen could shoot blue lightning from her hands, I could see the appeal. And Palpatine could see a little action.

They're perfect for each other. Don'cha think?

Almost *too* perfect...

*TK-421 Signing Off*

Taxman

In the USA, April 15 is usually something known as "tax day." it is a day marked by scrambling to finish scads of paperwork, prolific fudging on said paperwork, bad mathematics, crying, screaming, begging, and praying to deities that are otherwise ignored.

All I can say about this is you should all just be happy I'm not in the employ of the Internal Revenue Service. If I was, you'd know what "being screwed" really felt like.

The Galactic Empire does not believe in forgiveness, tardiness, or Vaseline.

(Note: I am aware of the fluke extension because of some strange holiday in your capitol. No holidays in the Empire. None.)

*TK-421 Signing Off*