4 posts from May 2002

Oldies: Sunday, May 19 - Saturday, May 25, 2002...

Thursday, 23 May 2002: Yes, I admit it, I caved in last night. I threw my better judgment out the window. I defied the rules of good taste... logic... morals... you name it. What did I do, you ask? I watched "Celebrity Boxing 2" on Fox. And I enjoyed it. Oh dear Lord in Heaven, what is wrong with me? Katie and I were flipping channels after finishing the one-hour season finale of "My Wife and Kids" when we came upon Fox's pathetic attempt at a ratings seizure.

Thankfully, we tuned in after the Darva Conger v. Olga Korbut fight. Even more thankfully, we tuned in just in time to see Dustin "Screech" Diamond ("Saved By the Bell") clobber the hell out of Ron "Horshach" Palillo ("Welcome Back Kotter"). That was entertaining to say the very least. Screech was hamming it up for the crowds, taunting Horshach, dancing around, and landing some very nice punches. Some may have seemed a bit low, but others were right on the mark and you could hear them. Screech won by TKO.

The William "Refrigerator" Perry v. Manute "The Sudanese Freedom Fighter" Bol was a joke to say the least. Nobody was doing anything. Fridge couldn't get in past Bol's reach to land any punches of significance while just about every one of Bol's lunges was blocked. By the final round (all matches were limited to three rounds), the judge said "if you two don't start boxing, you won't get paid." After all was said and done, Bol won by unanimous decision.

Finally, the headline fight was between Joey "I Dropped My Soap" Buttafuoco and Joanie "My Real Nickname Is Trademarked By the WWF, Or Is It WWE, So I Can No Longer Use It" Laurer (AKA "Chyna"). While Chyna landed some hard hits on Buttfuck (oops... sorry... "Buttafuoco"), she almost always followed them up by turning around in defense. You never do that. It allowed Joey to land several cheap shots to the back of her head. On occasion, he came out with a nice flurry, but his cheap shots (along with the fact that he grabbed her and threw her to the ground) should have resulted in him losing. Unfortunately, the judges saw the sheer number of weak hits he had against her moreso than the quality of her punches and awarded him the victory by unanimous decision. I would love to see Joey take Chyna up on her offer to settle this dispute in "her ring." Then we'd really have some fun, wouldn't we?

Wednesday, 22 May 2002: Now that I've spent some time extolling the virtues of the latest Star Wars flick, it's time to remind myself, as well as all of you, why this one is so much better than ep. I. Does that mean I will actually go out and rent The Phantom Menace so I can see why for myself? After all, I haven't seen the film since opening day back in 1999. Sure, maybe I actually will sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow while Katie is at work. We'll see. In the meantime, though, feast your eyes on Lance and Eskimo's 78 Reasons to Hate Episode I. They're pretty damned funny and they bring up some great points and also mention stuff that I don't remember or never actually took notice of since I only viewed the movie once.

Monday, 20 May 2002: The Mix Morning Show was discussing the season finale of "Friends" this morning and asking callers what they thought of both the ending and what should happen next season. So, below, you will see my take on what should happen next season. First, let me say that I was disappointed by the final outcome of the finale. It was quite boring. Just my $.02

Ross and Rachel - In the first episode, it will be established that Joey and the ring was an accident and should not have happened. I am thoroughly disgusted by how the writers handled the whole Rachel and Joey potential relationship and now I don't even want to see them together. End it already. Anyway, Ross and Rachel stay together and discover that Manhattan is no place to raise a child. At midseason (December or January), they will move to Rockaway in Queens and buy a house. They will not get engaged which will help keep the "living in sin" fires burning in the hearts of both sets of parents. I chose Rockaway because it's still close enough to the city for both to work at their jobs without too much of a commute.

Joey - Despondent over the "breakup" with Rachel, he starts to mope around. So much so that his character is written out of "Days of Our Lives" or whatever soap opera it is that he's on (I think that it would be great to bring back Susan Sarandon to bitch slap him for being responsible for killing off her character entirely). However, that doesn't matter because, come January, he will be nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his movie despite the snoring reviews given by Chandler (okay, maybe we'll make it a Golden Globe nomination). He starts to receive all kinds of film offers and moves past the whole Rachel thing. However, in February, he discovers the need to move to Hollywood to keep on top of his acting career. People may not like this, but it can be viewed as the second beginning of the end with the first being Rachel and Ross moving to Queens. The show will still follow him as he's living and working in Hollywood and the occasional Friend will be out to visit him. He will even start dating some big Hollywood movie star who will cameo on the show as herself (Sandra Bullock or the like?). This will also do a lot to help settle what is going to become a pretty fiery dispute between him and Ross over the ring mishap.

Phoebe - One day, Phoebe will receive a check in the mail for a very large sum of money with a note attached that says she must use it to start a salon/spa. Being the honorable person Phoebe is, she opens one right in the heart of Manhattan. She's the boss now with six or more people working for her. The salon becomes wildly popular and she becomes the toast of Manhattan. Around January, her phantom investor shows himself. It's David or whatever the name of the scientist guy was who was played by Hank Azaria around season two or three. Turns out he has moved back to NYC from Russia because he received a full professorship at NYU (hey, if Ross can be a professor without going through a professor track, so can David). They have a whirlwind romance which winds up with the two of them getting married in the final episode of the series. Of course, the wedding will bring all the Friends back together no matter where they are living and will be officiated by Joey.

Chandler and Monica - As much as I'd love to see either Monica get hit by a bus or Chandler come to his senses and leave that heinous bitch, I'll be a little more realistic. The two of them try all season with no luck to have a baby. This winds up with the two of them trying something new and completely out of whack (probably the result of one of Phoebe's eastern ideological beliefs) and, during Phoebe's wedding reception, while dancing, Monica looks at Chandler and says "I'm pregnant." And... curtain. I hate to give Monica the final word in the series, but it seems to work pretty well in my mind.

So, what do you all think? Let me know.

Oldies: Sunday, May 12 - Saturday, May 18, 2002...

Friday, 17 May 2002: Hey all. Did I see Star Wars Episode II? Hells yeah. However, I guess I'm not a true Star Wars fan because I did not see it on the pre-opening Wednesday at midnight showing, nor did I see it on opening day which was yesterday. I saw it today which is the day that I had always been led to believe was going to be opening day. Do I care that several thousand people saw it before me... hells no. I saw it and I liked it a lot. My faith in George Lucas has been restored. Overall, this one ranks up there just below A New Hope with The Empire Strikes Back way ahead of both of them. Overall, here are my rankings of the entire series...

  • #1 - Ep. V: The Empire Strikes Back
  • #2 - Ep. IV: A New Hope
  • #3 - Ep. II: Attack of the Clones
  • #4 - Ep. VI: Return of the Jedi
  • #5 - Ep. I: The Phantom Menace

Was Yoda's scene worth all the hype... you damned well better believe it. He truly does kick complete and total ass. The other thing that I loved is the fact that this movie is so full of allusions to the original trilogy. Not just the typical foreshadowing, but blatant comments that are remniscient of episodes IV - VI that you can't help but kinda smirk when you hear them.

*SPOILER ALERT*- do not keep reading if you don't want part of the movie ruined for you...There is one thing that bugs me, though, about the last two episodes that have been released. Lucas has developed some truly kick ass villains in episodes I and II. I'm talking villains that would be on par with Darth Vader if they were allowed to be developed to their fullest potential. Therein lies my complaint. Lucas dispatches his villains far too quickly any more. In The Phantom Menace, Darth Maul dies horribly unceremoniously. I loved that guy. He was one of the only redeeming features of episode I. Now, in episode II, Jango Fett is killed off before we really get to know who he is. Yes, it helps set up the future struggle between Boba Fett (his son) and what would seemingly be the rest of the galaxy. But, couldn't Jango's death have waited until episode III? Did it have to happen so quickly? Vader got to stick around for three entire flicks. Boba Fett had two episodes in full regalia (he's only a kid now so it doesn't count, nor does his cameo in the special edition of episode IV). Couldn't the same courtesy have been afforded to Jango Fett and Darth Maul. They were truly great villains. C'est la vie, eh?

Thursday, 16 May 2002: Okay, here's the rest of what I've found out about primetime scheduling for next fall.

On CBS, "The Agency" was not cancelled after all, it was just moved to Saturday night. Damn, you may as well have just axed it, at least killing it would have been more dignified than moving it to Saturday of all days. Otherwise, it would seem that CBS is overloading on dramas. "CSI: Miami" (to be aired on Monday nights opposite NBC's "Crossing Jordan"), "Presidio Med," "Without a Trace" (moving into "The Agency's" old Thursday night slot opposite "ER"), "Hack," and "RHD/LA." The only new comedies are "Still Standing" with Jami Gertz (The Lost Boys) and Mark Addy (The Full Monty) and "Bram and Alice" with Alfred Molina and Traylor Howard ("Two Guys and a Girl"). For some reason, execs ordered another 13 episodes of "Baby Bob" to air midseason while "The Education of Max Bickford," "First Monday," "The Ellen Show," "Family Law," "Wolf Lake," "Citizen Baines," and "That's Life" were all killed (have you ever heard of the last three?).

Fox is planning to replace "Ally McBeal" with yet another lawyer show by David E. Kelley (do you think the guy has a fixation with the legal profession? "Ally McBeal," "L.A. Law," and whatever this new one is). Sunday is going to be all comedy with "Malcolm in the Middle" expanded to a one-hour block in light of the ending of "The X-Files." Also nixed are "Dark Angel," "Titus," "Undeclared," "Greg the Bunny," and "That 80's Show" (really sucked anyway) while "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" is on hiatus until midseason. "24" is returning despite low ratings. I'm sure Allison will be happy.

As for UPN... do we really care anyway? What shows are actually on this network? Nothing that matters to me and since I can't find any news about their fall lineups anyway (trust me, I didn't look too hard), let's just skip it.

Okay, I'm done. Trying to keep up on all this TV shit is driving me insane. If anything changes, make a mental note of it because you're not likely to see it posted here anytime soon.

Wednesday, 15 May 2002: It's alive! Alive I tell you! Well, my hope of ever getting a PlayStation 2 is alive, that is. My friend Nate told me last month about this little tidbit and Sony has now confirmed it... the price of the PS2 will drop $100. A news article this morning stated that the reason for the price drop was because Sony wanted to be more competitive with the Nintendo GameCube which is only $199 despite the GameCube's inability to play DVDs. The pricedrop is also in response to rumors that the Microsoft Xbox was planning a pricecut as well. Nate told me he heard the pricedrop was in anticipation of the rerelease of the PS2 with a built-in net connection so you could play against other people on the web. I think Nate's explanation makes more sense since this was the original plan by Sony anyway. They just never actually did it. Now that the Xbox is out and has web connectivity (and some killer games I might add), Sony was feeling the pinch to get their system up to snuff. I don't need the web connectivity because I wouldn't be playing against anyone else (notice how carefully worded that statement was for fear of unintentionally giving any of you fair readers the wrong impression about "one-man game playing"). I'll take the $199 PS2 any day of the week. So, if any of you all are looking for a killer birthday/Christmas gift for me... hint, hint, clue, clue, knock you over the head.

One last thing for all you Chicago Bears fans out there... studboy linebacker Brian Urlacher will be costarring on "According to Jim" tonight at 7:30 on ABC 7. Tune in to show your support for the big man. And, yes, I will have the mops at the ready in anticipation of Katie drooling buckets worth when he shows up on screen.

Tuesday, 14 May 2002: So far, I've only heard about a few shows this season that have been given the boot without the dignity of having a series finale.

The WB did yank "Angel," "Raising Dad," and "Maybe It's Me." Surprisingly, "The Jamie Kennedy Experiment" survived the axe slinging.

On NBC, "Leap of Faith" did get killed, much to my chagrin. "Watching Ellie" has seemingly survived to see another season, though executives have not announced how many episodes they are ordering and it won't be played until midseason (if at all). "Scrubs" survived and has moved to the Thursday 7:30 p.m. (EST) slot right after "Friends." Katie will be happy to know that "Crossing Jordan" is returning as well. Nothing big announced about "Ed" so you can probably safely assume it's returning. In terms of game shows, "The Weakest Link" has been deemed one of NBC's weakest links... good bye (c'mon, you had to see that play on titles coming a mile away... I would've been ashamed of myself if I didn't say it). "Just Shoot Me" which really needs to be cut, has been moved from Thursday to Tuesday to make room for a new show called "Good Morning Miami."

ABC has made some shifts. "Philly," despite my earlier predictions, has been yanked as has "Spin City." I really did not see that one coming at all. The ailing "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" is on hiatus until midseason. "The George Lopez Show" did make it for a sophomore run as I thought it would. What's weird is that it seems that the miniseries "Dinotopia" is being made into a regular series on Thursday nights to compete with "Friends" and "Survivor" (should this show return and to the same time/day slot).

All news regarding CBS, Fox, and UPN is speculation as of now and lineups won't be announced until sometime on Thursday. Although we can say for sure that CBS will be making "CSI: Miami" its own series along with another Jerry Bruckheimer produced show about missing persons called "Without A Trace." That gives Bruckheimer a relative stranglehold on the network where he's already got "The Amazing Race" and "CSI: Crime Scene Investigations." At least his TV shows are more realistic than many of his over-FXed movies (granted I did love Black Hawk Down, this is the same guy who gave us Pearl Harbor).

Monday, 13 May 2002: I have a couple of friends who, whether they would ever admit to it or not, would probably benefit from moving to Brazil. According to the "Honesty in Marriage" study published in the most recent edition of the Brazilian version of Reader's Digest, only one in four Brazilians expect their spouses to remain faithful. One person in every four will remain faithful. Can you believe that? Ironically enough, only three percent of Brazilian men ever admitted to having had an affair. I guess that means that there is another 72% of Brazilian men (I have no idea how many women fessed up) that can safely go out and screw around on their wives. Go for it guys, your women expect it. I'm guessing that there is probably a similar amount of women that can do as such as well. That's pretty damned pessimistic, isn't it?

Oldies: Sunday, May 5 - Saturday, May 11, 2002...

Friday, 10 May 2002: I had to make note of this little bit before I give up writing to all of you for the weekend. It would seem that a lot of people have been taking a shine to Hallee Hirsch since her role in last night's episode of E.R. Yes, at one point last month, I did make mention of her when I was listing the winners of the Primetime Kapgar.com Awards. So, if you're looking for my reference to her, that's where you'll find her. She does seem pretty popular lately. Nine of the last 30 searches that found my site were performing a search for her. I'm sure Miss Hirsch will be happy to know that she is now the second most popular search keywords on my site behind "Apolo Anton Ohno." However, if I were her, I wouldn't be too happy. You see, I wonder just how many of you out there were really that impressed by her acting in last night's demise of Dr. Mark Greene and how many of you were really just impressed by how she looked in her bikini on the beach in Hawaii. You guys are sick. Get a life. Find a porn site with legal-aged models. Jeezus, I mean she is only 14 years old (this from imdb.com which lists the spelling of her last name as "Hirsh." I dunno which is correct. Hallee, if you're reading this, please let me know). That's just wrong people. You're all worse than Catholic priests.

Thursday, 9 May 2002: Yessirree Bob, it is now time for the TV Countdown to Extinction. Next week will see the start of the realignment of fall TV schedules by the four major networks (ABC, CBS, Fox, and NBC) and the two not-so-major networks (WB and UPN). An E! Online article posted yesterday via Yahoo, noted some of their predictions regarding what shows will be given the death knell. Here are their predictions and, for the most part, I agree with them. I'll list the shows they pick by network and any comments I may have after the title.


  • The George Lopez Show - Won't happen because the three big networks are always looking for that element of cultural diversity and having one of the only shows that appeals to a hispanic audience gives ABC a big advantage over other networks. But the show may need to bone up its writing.
  • The Job - I thought this got the axe last year until it suddenly reappeared half way through this season. What's that say about the show?
  • Dharma & Greg - Suffering from dramatically bad writing and very low appeal the last two seasons. I lost interest when they shot for a dramatic storyline with Dharma cheating on Greg with Kevin Sorbo.
  • Philly - Won't happen because ABC is too indebted to Philly creator Steven Bochco for having given them "NYPD Blue." Besides, it's really not too bad a show.


  • The Education of Max Bickford - It seems like this show is just eeking along despite starring two Oscar winners.
  • Touched by an Angel - Valerie Bertinelli? That just equates death. Remember "Cafe American?"
  • First Monday - Never seen it.
  • Family Law - Not too bad even though it's got Tony Danza waxing dramatic. I dunno if it will happen because the show still has a pretty good fan base. Don't hold me to it though.
  • The Agency - Surprising prediction. I think this show would do much better on a different night. You can't take a rookie drama like this and pit it against "ER" in a season when both Eriq LaSalle and Anthony Edwards are making their dramatic departures. Poor scheduling on CBS's part.
  • Baby Bob - I think people are sick of the computerized mouth manipulations. Bad enough in commercials, but to try to turn the concept into a sitcom was just plain idiotic.


  • Greg the Bunny - Puppets with 'tudes? C'mon now.
  • Dark Angel - I saw the first episode and haven't been interested since then. I'm surprised it lasted past the first season.
  • 24 - I thought they signed on the dotted line for a second season already?
  • Titus - There has been talk about this one getting the axe for well over a year now.


  • Watching Ellie - Kill it already.
  • Leap of Faith - Please let it live. However, it would seem that this sort of show only has a fan base on cable ("Sex and the City" anyone?).
  • Ed - I loved it the first season, but this year it has been awful. Both the writing and the acting have really gone to hell in a handbasket.


  • The Hughleys - Never seen it.
  • Girlfriends - Never heard of it.
  • The Parkers - Never heard of it.
  • One and One - Never heard of it. Doesn't really say much for UPN when I haven't even heard of many of their shows, now does it?


  • Raising Dad - Katie enjoyed the couple of episodes that she's seen, but it's scheduled for Friday nights. Who the hell wants to commit to a show on Friday?
  • Angel - Maybe UPN will nab this one like they did with "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
  • Maybe It's Me - Never seen it.

In other news, the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) has announced that it is changing its name to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (WWE) in an attempt to settle the lawsuit filed by the World Wildlife Foundation over the use of the WWF acronym. Well, that new moniker kinda takes a bit of the punch out of the mental image of the organization, doesn't it?

Wednesday, 8 May 2002: You wanna know what's great about the Primetime Kapgar.com Awards? Since they are decided on by me, I can change them as I see fit. No need to wait until a year from now to hand out new ones. And that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm not taking any awards away, I'm just pulling a Winter Olympics here by giving co-awards. In the words of my favorite Whitney Houston basher, Bobby Brown... "it's my prerogative."

So, here goes... I feel that I should have a co-winner in the Best Veteran Actor (Comedy) category. Instead of just giving one to Damon Wayans for "My Wife and Kids," I think I'm gonna have to give another award to Bryan Cranston for his role as Hal in "Malcolm in the Middle." Along with Erik Per Sullivan (Dewey), he really makes the show and gets overlooked a lot by critics who have taken, what I feel to be, an overly large interest in Jane Kaczmarek (Lois). My second co-award goes to a show that I really ragged on earlier in the season because Katie and I saw an episode that was just really stupid. However, we've recently taken a liking to it when we happened to turn it on because we had nothing better to do. Now I love it. So, I would like to give a Best Rookie Sitcom award to "Scrubs." It really is a well-done show that I haven't given enough credit to until lately. If you don't like that I'm reawarding some shows, deal with it. My site, my rules.

On another note, a Boy Scout leader named Vladimir Betchev was arrested yesterday for possession of child pornography. Pretty sick and twisted and doesn't do much to help the already sagging image of the Boy Scouts of America after their anti-homosexuality tirade of late. But the reason I mention it was because there was an interview of one of the investigating police officers on one of our local morning news shows. When they showed the cop on screen, in the background, you could see his computer monitor with its screensaver running. All I kept seeing over and over again during his screenshots were the words "Get a Life" bouncing back and forth. Kinda funny. Well, I thought so at least.

Tuesday, 7 May 2002: Filming for the new Terminator flick, T3: Rise of the Machines, started approximately three weeks ago in Los Angeles. Why do I mention this? Because they are still casting people for the film. Typically, or so I've been lead to believe, casting ends before filming begins. So, then why is it they just announced yesterday that Claire Danes ("My So-Called Life", William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet) is taking the leading female role of Kate Miller? Apparently, Danes took over the role from Sophia Bush whose only read credit so far in her brief acting career was a bit part in National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Hell, the casting of Sophia Bush was news to me as the last time I heard, Kate Miller was being played by Claire Forlani (Mallrats). How fast things change in Hollywood. Who will it be next?

It was yesterday that I also discovered that the John Connor role is no longer being played by Shane West as the news lead us on to believe, but it is now being played by Nick Stahl (Disturbing Behavior and In The Bedroom). Hmmm...

But the best news I've heard so far is that Michael Biehn will be returning to the Terminator series in a cameo as his character from the first movie, Kyle Reese. I've been dying to see Michael Biehn do something good again. I miss the ole boy. Haven't really seen him in anything worthwhile since The Rock and then Tombstone and The Abyss before that.

Monday, 6 May 2002: $114 million?!?! Jeez-o-man! That's a helluva lot of money for a superhero flick to make in one weekend's time. Blew the lid off Harry Potter and The Mummy Returns and it deserves to have done so. I loved the flick and so did Katie and my brother and his girlfriend. Any movie that has that sort of universal appeal (this is the first superhero flick that Katie wanted to go to and, in fact, asked me when we were going to see it without me prompting her in any way) should do well. It was very well acted, very believable (in a suspension-of-disbelief sort of way), and just damn cool overall. It would seem that studio execs really wisened up before making this flick and realized that there are several more demographics that they need to appeal to other than just males aged 16-29. Our theatre had young and old, men and women, and they all seemed to enjoy it equally.

Now, as for how faithful the movie was to the source material... not bad. The story followed pretty well with some changes. For example, Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) was not the love of Peter Parker's (Tobey Maguire) life from the onset. His first real girlfriend was, in fact, Gwen Stacey (sp?) who is not even mentioned in the movie. Plus, the spider that bit Peter in the comic was radioactive, not genetically enhanced like the one in the flick. Lastly, and the big one for many people, was the fact that in the comic Peter constructed his webslinger using his scientific know how. Director Sam Raimi, however, claims this was a part of the comic he never bought into when he was younger, so he made the webslinger be an organic part of Peter's new body. Certainly explains things much more cleanly.

As for sequel... the ending certainly lends itself to one. See for yourself.

Oh yeah, and I did see Jason X last Thursday. Everything I expected from the flick and more. I liked it in a very morbid way.

Sunday, 5 May 2002: I've gotta admit that I'm a bit scared now. We (Katie, my brother, his girlfriend, and I) went to see Spider-Man today. Yes, it was an incredible movie, but more on that tomorrow. My fear right now has to do with one of the previews that was up before the movie started. This particular trailer was for Scooby-Doo. I am a huge Scooby fan as many of you may already know. And I've been looking forward to this movie for quite a while even though I really don't want to see Freddie Prinze, Jr. or Sarah Michelle Gellar in two of the starring roles. I was going to give it the benefit of the doubt. Until, that is, I saw the trailer today. I think I've reconsidered my position on that movie. It was a really stupid trailer that does not make the movie look appealing at all. I've officially removed it from my "must see" movie list.  

Oldies: Sunday, April 28 - Saturday, May 4, 2002...

Saturday, 4 May 2002: Yesterday was my field trip with Katie's bunch of rather precocious pre-kindergarteners... honestly, at that age, who would expect anything short of precocious. It was fun, albeit a bit hurried, as we didn't really have a whole heckuva lot of time to see all that much. Katie and I agreed that we are going to have to go back to Brookfield Zoo very soon.

The reason I'm writing about this little adventure was because of two of the little kids and how they inspired me. These two kids, named Rashad and Wes, were quite obviously the best of friends. The two were completely inseparable -- sat together on the bus, were buddies for the trip around the zoo, ate together, watched each other's backs -- despite glaring differences between them both that would seemingly separate them if they were any older.

Wes was the product of a very difficult birth. His mother gained over 90 pounds during her pregnancy as a result of an over-abundance of amniotic fluid. This massive amount of fluid wreaked havoc with Wes and he was born with severe facial deformities that he is still undergoing reconstructive surgery to amend. As a result of a lowered hearing threshold, he also wears a headset with two hearing aids that looks quite a bit like a very high-tech set of headphones for a Walkman. Otherwise, Wes was a relatively normal, everyday, white kid.

Rashad was a seemingly normal kid in all respects aside from his reliance on a hearing aid. He can talk with some difficulty, loves to fool around and play jokes, and has a helluva sense of humor. He's also black. (please note that I am not much of a believer in political correctness, so take no offense at my refusal to use PC terms such as "European American" and "African American" -- I think PC is BS).

Why the big deal about the two of these kids? They knew how different they each were. It had to be more than a bit obvious to Rashad that Wes was anything but a normal-looking kid. It had to be more than a bit obvious to Wes that Rashad didn't have the same skin color as himself. Did they care? Hell no. They were the best of friends anyway. It would be hard to imagine these two as anything but best friends. They found in each other soulmates (of the purely platonic variety) that neither skin color nor physical deformities could alter. Why can't the rest of the world be this oblivious to physical differences and use a person's true character as a way to determine whether they like them or not? Wes and Rashad are probably no more than about four years old each and far more mature than people who have been alive several decades longer than them both. 'Nuff said.

Thursday, 2 May 2002: This one is more than a bit nasty (maybe I should say "bite"). A former Australian Rules Football (soccer) player who is a member of the Port Melbourne team, was suspended for biting the testicles of an opposing player. Sadly, he was only suspended for 10 games. I would think this would warrant a far greater suspension. The player, Peter Filandia, claimed that he could not breathe when he got tangled up with Chad Davis of Springvale, so he bit him as a reflex action. Some friggin' reflex there buddy. I thought Tyson's earlobe addiction was bad. Can you imagine being either of those guys? Imagine how bad it would be realizing that some guy was taking a nip at your boys? Imagine the realization when you discover that you've got some guy's boys in your mouth? Ewwww... icky... Gives new meaning to "down under," doesn't it?

By the way, I won't be here tomorrow to update the page. I'm taking the day off work to go to Brookfield Zoo as a chaperone for all of Katie's preschool kids. Should be fun so long as the skies don't open up on us. Besides, Geocities will be conducting some infrastructure updates over the weekend. You will still be able to read my site, but I won't be able to update it at all starting tomorrow evening. So, take advantage of this chance to go into the Archives and read some of my old trash. Or, if you so desire, check out Fun With Dead Trees, pick out a book that sounds interesting, and get out from behind your infernal computer. The bookstores would love to see you.

Wednesday, 1 May 2002: A few years ago, Chicago had a great classic rock radio station called WCKG (105.9 FM). It had some of the best music around. However, due to declining ratings and increased competition, the station changed formats several times. I think it was even a Spanish station at one point (okay, maybe not, but then again...). Anyway, I stopped listening when it stopped playing classic rock. Well, for some reason, I tuned in yesterday. Don't ask me why. Consider it morbid curiosity wanting to see what they're playing now. Well, it is now an FM talk station. Not only that, but they've got just about every talk DJ that used to be on the Loop back when it was a talk station. Kevin "Kevhead" Matthews, Steve Dahl, Jim Shorts, Buzz Kilman. Hell, their morning show is Howard Stern. Coolness. I've been wondering what station played Stern in Chicago. Now I know and I'm loving it. So, if you have the chance and you live in Chicagoland, tune into 105.9 FM. Good stuff there.

This morning, Stern and Company were interviewing Kane Hodder (yes, back on the Jason X kick again). Stern started suggesting possible follow ups for the success of this latest film. One, in particular, caught my attention... Jason Meets Robert Blake and O.J. Simpson. How funny would that be? Stern even commented that Jason should wear a blonde wig so O.J. would think he's Nicole (ex-wife... remember her?). I couldn't stop laughing.

Tuesday, 30 April 2002: Okay, before I start into my rant o' the day, I must make an update to yesterday's information about Jason X. Apparently, the Box Office weekend estimates were a bit off. Jason X, instead of making $150K less than Life of Something Like It, actually made $430K more than it. And it scored two places higher in the top ten than Jolie's foray into romcom domesticity. After all was said and done, Jason X wound up the number three movie in America behind The Scorpion King and Changing Lanes. Number four was Murder by Numbers with Life or Something Like It as number five. Go Kane... go Kane... it's your birthday. Well, I don't actually know that for sure. Let's just play along, okay?

Now for my rant. NBC is having one heckuva birthday party in the coming week or so. The network turns 75 (I believe) and is bringing back all kinds of past stars to relive their roles either in reunions or on other series. The cast of St. Elsewhere is going to be on Scrubs, there will be a Cosby Show reunion, and the cast of Cheers will be on Frasier. This sort of marketing tactic scares me. Once in a while, it's okay to bring back people for guest stints. But when you bring back so many in such a short time span, then you know it's for ratings and there is not likely to be a very good script supporting the reunion. I will admit that I'm kinda looking forward to the Cheers reunion. I don't know that I want to see it so much for the fact that everyone will be back together as for the fact that Kirstie Alley will finally have something to do other than those damned Pier One commercials. Have you seen those things? They are the most annoying and, I would think, degrading commercials I have ever seen. When stars hawk products on TV or radio, the writers of the commercials usually tend to be somewhat respectful of the star. Dennis Franz hamming it for Nextel is pretty cool. Jeff Goldblum's voiceovers for Toyota are pure Goldblum. But, c'mon now, Alley is acting like a complete imbecile in these commercials and she is really proving that she has no career left whatsoever. Maybe she's thinking that she's never going to act again and that she may as well go all out, but can we try to save a little face here?

Monday, 29 April 2002: This has gotta be some kind of record. The latest installment in the Friday the 13th series, Jason X, placed in the top four for weekend movies. I can understand why it wasn't number one. But, c'mon, for a slasher flick like this that would seemingly have very limited appeal, you have to give it credit for earning a mere $150K less than a romcom boasting superstar headliner Angelina Jolie (Life or Something Like It). That's saying a lot for a flick whose only recognizable star is a friggin' hockey mask. Or perhaps I'm just trying to rationalize the fact that I really, really want to see this movie. I have not seen a Friday flick since the third one and when you consider how bad slasher flicks became as a result of the Kevin Williamson era (Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, etc., etc., and sequels ad infinitum), you gotta be happy that there has been a return to the classic blood and gore slashers of the 1970s and 80s. Thank you, Kane Hodder (the man under the mask). I welcome you back with wide open arms even if that does make me one helluva target.

Oh yeah, I've added Sebastian Junger and Michael Crichton to my list of Most Reviewed Authors in Fun With Dead Trees. I admit that I only have one review on Crichton's page thus far, but I'm reading The Great Train Robbery right now and will probably have that review up sometime this weekend or early next week.