Friday, 27 September 2002: Since I won't be around on Friday, I figured I'd post this update a day in advance. I didn't want to intermingle this one with the joke below. Totally different mood so it wouldn't work.
Many of you movie buffs know the difference between Pan-and-Scan and Widescreen versions of movies, right? Have you ever tried to explain to someone who doesn't understand the concept why it is necessary to have the black bars on the top and bottom of a TV screen? Do they just stare at you blankly? Do they, despite all reason and logic, still maintain that "my TV screen should be filled." Well, Lucasfilm put together a handy little page on their website about the differences between the two formats. And they managed to do so in layman's English, no less. They created this page with regard to the upcoming DVD/VHS release of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and even posted actual screen captures that illustrate the difference. So, if you ever need help explaining this concept to the clueless hordes, you can send them to this page...
I hope this helps you out in your attempts to bring widescreen movies to the forefront of human consciousness.
Thursday, 26 September 2002: I love a good joke. I know I've heard this one before and I'm sure some of you reading this page may have even received this one from me as a forward sometime in the past. But, I'm pretty sure I've never posted it here before. So here goes...
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take in account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
The student received the only "A" given.
Wednesday, 25 September 2002: Have you ever had one of those moments where you just couldn't come up with a witty retort to someone else's smart assed comments? Do you wish you had a resource that could provide you with that much needed verbal bitchslap? Well, have I got a website for you. It is called InsultMonger.com and bills itself as the "assassin of hypocrisy." Yes, you too can bone up in advance for that anticipated aural onslaught in such categories as appearance, intelligence, personality, gender, sex, marriage, clebrity, literature, politics, and others. Okay, free P.R. aside, I swear this site has thousands upon thousands of insults as well as how to respond to them. It's great for a laugh... or two... or three...
Tuesday, 24 September 2002: Yeah, I'll admit I'm slipping regarding updating this page. I think the desire to constantly look at and update this page is starting to slip as quickly as the Bears' lead against the Saints this past Sunday. That really isn't saying too much. Once you do something long enough, it tends to get a little dry and outdated. Maybe I'll just get some more photos together. I've got plenty of new ones now since I finally got our backlog of seven rolls of film developed. Aye carumba. When film is sitting around so long that the cannisters start to collect dust, you know something is wrong. Oh well. They're done and now I've got something new to do. It's just tough to motivate myself since I've got class two nights a week and I need to start working on a freelance site for a professor here at AU that needs to be complete by the end of October. I guess I'd better get to work on that one too, eh? Hmm.