Oldies: Sunday, April 6 - Saturday, April 12, 2003...

Thursday, 10 April 2003: Katie got to have a pretty interesting evening last night. She and all "the gals" from her Walgreen's drove into the city to see a performance art piece using... well... "pieces"... of the male anatomy variety. The show they saw was called Puppetry of the Penis and features men doing things with their "members" that should really not be permissible under the normal laws of nature.

Katie said it was interesting but incredibly weird and uncomfortable looking. I was just praying the entire night that she wouldn't bring home any tips or tricks. Oh no, I am no contortionist nor do I ever hope to be.

If you'd like to see more about the show, check out their official website. But, be warned, this site does contain adult content.

And you thought "girls night out" simply meant going to bars and picking up guys.

Tuesday, 8 April 2003: I found a pretty funny article listed on Fark.com today about a woman, I believe from Australia, whose answering machine would request that people leave a message "for Barnaby and Estelle."

The Office of Housing in her town heard the message and assumed that she was subletting her apartment illegally and not paying the appropriate taxes and fees and, otherwise, just cheating the system. So, they demanded that Estelle present bank statements, income receipts, and two forms of ID for "Barnaby." When she couldn't do so, they increased her rent by AUS$110 per week.

I hope you can see where this is going.

As it turns out, Barnaby is her teddy bear.

When she tried to explain this to the Office of Housing, they wouldn't listen to her and refused to be persuaded. So she got legal aid who finally got them to pay attention and reverse their demands. It makes me laugh that some people are that ignorant. I suppose I could nominate the Office of Housing staff for inclusion in my "Darwinism Missed Me" file. They would definitely deserve it.

Monday, 7 April 2003: I really have been a good little boy lately. It has been weeks since I've talked about the war at all. Not since before it started if I do recall. Well, my silence is broken.

No, I'm not gonna trash the president or anything else like that. What I'm commenting on is the issue of Time Magazine that I received in the mail today. On the cover was the big camo-clad picture of Private Jessica Lynch with her big, bright smile. The big headline on the cover was, appropriately enough, "Saving Private Lynch" - cute title if I do say so myself. The news has been going on about her rescue for the better part of a week now and for good reason... her rescue was pretty much a miracle. The SEALs and Rangers who rescued her deserve all kinds of recognition.

However, seeing this cover got me thinking. Mostly about the remaining POWs and MIAs from this war. I wonder how many of them are no longer alive now that Lynch has been rescued. I could easily see Iraqi brass being so pissed off at how we made them look like laughingstocks by breaching their defenses and rescuing one of our own, that they may have taken out their frustration on other POWs. Not a pleasant thought, indeed. But one that definitely must be considered.

I pray I'm wrong...

Sunday, 6 April 2003: Yes people, once again, it is that time of year for the Primetime Kapgar.com Awards.

Just as a refresher course for some of you that are not in the know... the Primetime Kapgar.com Awards are my answer to the Primetime Emmys. Except that the only opinion that truly matters here is... well... mine. Should it really be any other way? If you answered "yes," I respond with "tough." This is the second year that I have given these awards (okay, so it's really just recognition since I can't afford little statuettes). I have several different categories and there are some new ones this year and I may omit some from last year. Bear in mind, when I say "rookie," I refer only to the fact that a person is new to a show this season regardless of if they've acted on other shows or in films. "Veteran" means that a particular actor/actress was with the show prior to this season. And, yes, I reserve the right to declare a tie if the need should arise. Oh, and all the winners listed below are first-time winners unless otherwise noted.

So, let's get on with it, shall we?

  • Best Veteran Actor (Comedy) - (3-Way Tie) John C. McGinley - Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs ; Zach Braff - Dr. John "J.D." Dorian, Scrubs ; and Donald Faison - Dr. Chris Turk - Scrubs (yes, I'm on a Scrubs kick this season)
  • Best Veteran Actress (Comedy) - Sarah Chalke - Dr. Elliot Reid, Scrubs
  • Best Veteran Actor (Drama) - Chi McBride - Steven Harper, Boston Public (2nd year in a row)
  • Best Veteran Actress (Drama) - Marg Helgenberger - Catherine Willows, C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation
  • Best Rookie Actor (Comedy) - John Ritter - Paul Hennessy, 8 Simple Rules...
  • Best Rookie Actress (Comedy) - Amy Davidson - Kerry Hennessy, 8 Simple Rules...
  • Best Rookie Actor (Drama) - Anthony LaPaglia - Jack Malone, Without A Trace
  • Best Rookie Actress (Drama) - Emily Procter - Calleigh Duquesne, CSI: Miami
  • Best Veteran Kiddie (Comedy or Drama) - Erik Per Sullivan - Dewey, Malcolm in the Middle (2nd year in a row)
  • Best Rookie Kiddie (Comedy or Drama) - Martin Spanjers - Rory Hennessy, 8 Simple Rules...
  • Best Cameo Appearance - Verne Troyer - Prentice (AKA "The Little Person"), Boston Public
  • Best Veteran Sitcom - Scrubs
  • Best Rookie Sitcom - 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter
  • Best Veteran Drama - CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (2nd year in a row)
  • Best Rookie Drama - Without a Trace
  • Best Game Show/Reality Show Host - Jeff Probst, Survivor: The Amazon
  • Best Damn Show on the Tube - Boston Public (2nd year in a row)
  • Best Overall Network - with CSI, CSI: Miami, Without a Trace, and Survivor: The Amazon in its rotation... CBS
  • Show Most Deserving of its Cancellation - (tie) girl's club and Firefly
  • Show Least Deserving of its Cancellation - MDs
  • Most Overhyped New Show - My Big Fat Greek Life
  • Best Show I Wish I Watched Last Year - (tie) George Lopez and 24
  • Best Show I Wish I Could Remember to Tune in to Each Week - 24

Well, there you have it. The 2002-03 edition of the Primetime Kapgar.com Awards. If you would like to make your own nominations for winners or have ideas for new categories, use the above address as well. If I feel so inclined, I may include your comments in a future update.

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Oldies: Sunday, March 30 - Saturday, April 5, 2003...

Apr 5
Friday, 4 April 2003: One of the worst things about living out in the world in this modern age is bills. Rent, gas bill, electric bill, cable bill, cell phone bill, home phone bill... you name it. I realize that...
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Oldies: Sunday, April 13 - Saturday, April 19, 2003...

Apr 19
Monday, 14 April 2003: Yet another instance of one of those days when I have a lot to say and then it all becomes far too trivial... I got a call at work today from Katie's mom telling me that...

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