Empty head feels good, yeah (part 2)...
Try try try to understand, I'm a magic man...

Keep your eyes on the prize, hold on!

I know I have done this several times on my old static HTML blog. However, since this is the first year that I will be hosting my TV awards on this new site, I am going to start the numbering anew.

So welcome to the first-annual Primetime TV Kappy Awards. The only television awards show that truly matters!

[canned audience applause]

Why’s that, you ask?

Because they’re my opinions! Woo hoo!

[laugh track]

However, unlike in years past, Katie is actually going to be joining me on the voting and commenting process. After mere minutes of cajoling, she acquiesced. So another big woo hoo!

Here’s what is going to happen… I have three different categories of awards to present today: acting, shows, and miscellaneous. Pretty straight forward. However, I also, in some instances, delineate between “rookie” and “veteran” status. For the record, “veteran” refers to any actor or show that has been around since before this past season. Kiefer Sutherland, for example, is a veteran on 24 since he’s been on the show for five seasons now; the show, itself, also qualifies as veteran. “Rookie” refers either to an actor or show that is new at some point this season. However, it can also apply to an actor/actress that joined a veteran show just this season. Peter Weller is a rookie actor on the veteran show 24.

Making sense? Cool. Then let’s get started.

Acting Awards:

Veteran Actor in a Drama –

Katie: "Oh, it’s so tough to not give this one to Kiefer Sutherland, outright. Jaaaaack!"
Kevin: "However, this year it’s going to another very deserving bloke…"

Isaiah Washington as Dr. Preston Burke in Grey’s Anatomy


Veteran Actress in a Drama –

Katie: "I really have no idea who I want to give it to."
Kevin: "Okay, fine, I’ll pick one that's near and dear to my heart on a show you don’t yet watch…"

Kristen Bell as Veronica Mars


Veteran Actor in a Comedy –

Katie: "Mike Wazowski!"
Kevin: "No, it’s..."

John Krasinski as Jim Halpert on The Office


Veteran Actress in a Comedy –

Katie: "This one is not easy.
Kevin: "Yeah, it seems as though a lot of our faves have either disappeared or the quality of their acting has diminished. Hmmm… we’ve got Jim, why not the other half of the will-they-won’t-they…"

Jenna Fischer as Pam Beasley on The Office


Rookie Actor in a Drama –

Katie: "Palmer lives!"
Kevin: "And he’s got a gun!"

Dennis Haysbert as Jonas Blaine in The Unit


Rookie Actress in a Drama –

Katie: "As much as I wanna love CSI: NY because of Gary Sinise, it was tough going in the first season because the rest of the cast didn’t really mesh."
Kevin: "Yet, now, with the dumping of that one girl and the pick up of “Montana,” things are finally gelling. With that said…"

Anna Belknap as Det. Lindsay “Montana” Monroe in CSI: NY


Rookie Actor in a Comedy –

Kevin: "Okay, it’s not the greatest show on TV, but it’s starting to pick up steam. And, any time this guy is on screen, he steals the scene."
Katie: "SUIT UP!"

Neil Patrick Harris as Barney in How I Met Your Mother


Rookie Actress in a Comedy –

Katie: "I can't really come up with much so I was thinking maybe Alyson Hannigan in HIMYM."
Kevin: "SLUT UP! Yeah, she’s not bad, but I had another idea. What do you think of [whispers]?"
Katie: "Okay, cool."

Jamie Pressly as Joy Hickey on My Name is Earl


Rookie Kiddies/Teens –

Kevin: "I can’t think of any."
Katie: "How about the three from The War At Home."
Kevin: "Okay, which one?"
Katie: "Why not all three?"
Kevin: "Okay, I’m cool with it."

Kyle Sullivan, Kaylee DeFer, and Dean Collins as Larry, Hillary, and Mike on The War at Home


Veteran Kiddies/Teens –

Kevin: "Yeah, I’m just not feelin’ this one this year."
Katie: "Me neither."
Kevin: "Skip?"
Katie: "Sure."


One-Two Punch in a Drama –

Katie: "What the heck is this one for?"
Kevin: "The acting duo that works very well together."
Katie: "Oh, okay. I got it..."

Rob Morrow and David Krumholtz as Don and Charlie Eppes in NUMB3RS


One-Two Punch in a Comedy –

Kevin: "I got this one."
Katie: “You never listen to anything I say to you in bed, Earl.”

Jason Lee and Ethan Suplee as Earl and Randy Hickey in My Name is Earl


Veteran Ensemble Cast in a Drama –

Grey’s Anatomy


Veteran Ensemble Cast in a Comedy –

The Office


Rookie Ensemble in a Drama –

The Unit


Rookie Ensemble in a Comedy –

How I Met Your Mother


Best Comeback –

Katie: "My boy!"

Scott Foley as Bob Brown in The Unit


Best Recurring Guest Star Role

Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Denny in Grey's Anatomy


Best One-Off Guest Star Role –

T.K. Carter in In Justice


Best Actor Who Should Be Given Some Respect by Finally Being Made a Full-Time Cast Member –

Katie: "Wait a minute! He's not a regular cast member?"
Kevin: "Nope. Been listed as a guest star the whole season."
Katie: "But he's been on almost every episode."
Kevin: "Hence why he deserves this award."
Katie: "He's had more screen time, overall, than Judd Hirsch and Navi Rawat."
Kevin: "I know. And those two are regulars."

Dylan Bruno as Colby Granger in NUMB3RS


The Dark Alley Award –

Kevin: The what?
Katie: We give this to that one character in a show we'd never want to meet in a dark alley.
Kevin: I thought this was going to be called "The Bad Ass Award."
Katie: Eh, that just doesn't do it for me.

Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer in 24


Show Awards:

Best Veteran Drama –

Katie: "Can we call a tie?"
Kevin: "I’ve done it before so why not."

24 and Grey’s Anatomy


Best Veteran Comedy –

The Office


Best Rookie Drama –

Katie: "The show rocks!"

The Unit


Best Rookie Comedy –

Katie: "Another tie!"

My Name is Earl and How I Met Your Mother


Best Reality Show –

Katie: "Can I give it to Dancing With the Stars?"
Kevin: "Seriously?"
Katie: "Yes. Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"
Kevin: "Ummm… I’d prefer The Amazing Race 9 - the one without families."
Katie: "Okay fine."

The Amazing Race 9


Best Show That Was Canceled Too Soon –

Love Monkey


Biggest Save –

VH-1 picking up the remaining five episodes of Love Monkey after CBS dumped it. Great call, guys.


Biggest Drop Off in Quality –

Katie: "Oh so many to give this one to… Desperate Housewives, CSI: Miami, Will & Grace, Family Guy..."
Kevin: "I’d give it to Lost as well if the last several episodes didn’t rock the house."
Katie: "So, just the first four we listed?"
Kevin: "Cool."

Desperate Housewives, CSI: Miami, Will & Grace, Family Guy


Most Overstayed Welcome –

Will & Grace


Lost in Left Field Award –

Katie: "I just made this one up on the fly for shows that have gotten so dang weird as compared to previous seasons, yet you cannot shut them off."
Kevin: "Cool."

Nip/Tuck


Miscellaneous Awards:

Best Network –

Katie: "Let’s count ‘em. One tick mark per show per network that we watch each week. Here we go…"

  • ABC – 6
  • CBS – 10
  • NBC – 3
  • Fox – 3
  • WB – 1
  • UPN – 1

Kevin: "As a note, I’m taking one from ABC because of those damn insipid recap shows. That’s your punishment, you tools! So, 5 for ABC."

And the winner is CBS with 10!


Worst Network –

Kevin: "Well, I don’t want to do this simply by counting the network airing the fewest shows that we actually watch because it would be a tie between UPN and WB and neither of them is really going to exist long enough to enjoy the award since they’ll be merging in the fall. Where’s the fun in that? So I’m going to give it to VH-1. Ironic considering I gave them an award for Biggest Save on Love Monkey. So, why? Because those asshats can’t decide on a programming schedule and stick with it. The listings they published for cable companies and, therefore, DVRs to program based on, says one thing while the reality is something completely different. I tried TiVo’ing an episode of Love Monkey a couple weeks ago only to discover it was some other show entirely. But I didn’t discover it until a couple weeks later when I finally got around to watching it. So now all the back-up airdates are past as well. Jags."

VH-1


And that wraps it up for the 2006 Primetime TV Kappy Awards. Hope you enjoyed the show. Feel free to praise me for my insight or, should you feel so inclined, tell me I'm full of it (I prefer the former).

Comments

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Jacquie

Wow, that was really fun. Even though I haven't watched most of those shows, I liked the dialogue btwn you and Ms Katie.

suze

you forgot Best ACTRESS Who Should Be Given Some Respect by Finally Being Made a Full-Time Cast Member –

umm. hello? Tina Majorino in Veronica Mars. Show the Mac some love why don't you?

Chase

Good LORD you guys are as bad as Dave2! That tv is rotting your brain right out of your purty little heads.

Out of all those shows listed, I've only seen Family Guy, Will & Grace and 1 (the first) episode of The Office.

Goodness, people.

*lynne*

The Unit? haven't heard of it. grrr, now i'm gonna have to try to catch that once I'm back in the u.s., just to satisfy my curiosity! :p Totally agree with y'all on the "decline" of Family Guy :-(

ms. sizzle

isn't is sad about the drop-off quality of will and grace? i still watch it but without the same enthusiasm. it's like watching your family pet die slowly.

ok, bad analogy but you get what i mean.

i LOVE the office!

Bec

"I’d give it to Lost as well if the last several episodes didn’t rock the house."
Episode 4 of season 2 is on British TV tomorrow... Am kinda apprehensive about this series after all the enws I kept reading regarding season 2 but the above sentence alone gives me reason to keep going.

Tracy Lynn

Dudes? Where is HOUSE? Or BONES? Although, I must admit, I read the whole post again just for the dialogue between you and Ms Katie. And I am right there with you on the Dylan Bruno thing, if he isn't made a regular cast member soon, someone is going to get a boot to the neck. I'm just sayin'.

Elaine

Very nice! You and Katie seem very qualified to judge these awards. I definitely agree with the shows you listed for Biggest Drop Off in Quality. Family Guy used to be the light of my Sunday nights and now it's a hit-or-miss situation.

Kevin

Jacquie, thanks. It was pretty fun for me, too. Waiting to find out if Katie enjoyed it as much.

Suze, oooohhh, that's a GOOD ONE!

Chase, yeah, we're bad. We know it. I'm dying for this summer off.

Lynne, definitely give it a watch.

Sizzle, not sure about the analogy... To me, W&G has become like what Ocean's 12 was... just a giant inside joke for the cast that the viewers are not allowed in on.

Bec, yeah, it does get better.

Tracy Lynn, sorry, never really wanted to watch House. There are just too many medical shows on right now. Grey's is enough for me. Bones is one I want to watch but is on at the same time as two other shows we already TiVo. It'll have to wait.

Elaine, I'm still trying to figure out if it's a good thing or not that we're "qualified." Not sure. Maybe we really do watch too much TV. Sadly, Family Guy is more miss than hit these days. However, last night's Poltergeist-inspired episode was pretty decent.

sandra

Okay, so one question: will I be disappointed in CSI/NY if I adore the original CSI a lot? Like, is it the same without Grissom?

Kristina

Delurking because - OH MY GOD! - you watch 24 shows every week?! :)
More importantly, I just wanted to say that I love your writing and I'll be back to play in the comments box. Huzzah!

Kevin

Sandra, that would depend. Some CSI purists think that any of the spinoffs are bad news. The same goes for William Peterson. He hates that the spinoffs have happened and that's why you never saw him acting in the crossover episodes. He refused. CSI: Miami is pretty bad although I admit to having liked it in the past. Dunno why I did. CSI: NY is a lot better this season than last simply because it has a pretty decent cast. Hill Harper, Anna Belknap, and Carmine Giovinazzo are great. I could care less about Melina Kanakaredes. She's okay, but it wouldn't break my heart to see her go. But, what this show has is Gary Sinise! I love him. He's a great actor and the reason I kept watching through the questionable first season. It's just hard to not watch him. Like Peterson, he has such a great presence. Also, as much as you'll hate me, I don't watch the original CSI anymore simply because I'm tired as hell of George Eads, Jorja Fox, and Marg Helgenberger. I still like Peterson and I think Gary Dourdan is still the best thing that show has going for it. But the other three just annoy me to no end.

Kristina, happy to pull a lurker out into the open. I've seen your site before, too. Who else are you linked to? I'm trying to remember how I found your site.

Yeah, 24 shows. I'm not proud of it either. Every time we try to cut back, we wind up finding more. It's sad, honestly. But I do know people who watch quite a bit more. So, it could be worse.

Happy to have you stick around.

Neil

I'm thinking the guy who plays the weasely President in 24 deserves some supporting acting award.

claire

Dude, Suze beat me to it. I love Mac! She should totally be made a regular... her exchanges with KB make me laugh. And the stuff with Butters... so funny.

Kevin

Neil, hmmm... weasely characters almost deserve their own show. Not a bad idea. He is damn good at it, though, isn't he?

Claire, yeah, Mac is very good. But it kinda defeats the purpose to add it now. Damn, wished I'd thought of it before.

Nat

I obviously do not spend nearly enough time watching TV. hehehe...

N.

Dave2

I have different opinions on many entries, but found all of your selections to be good choices except one...

Rob Morrow and David Krumholtz as Don and Charlie Eppes in NUMB3RS winning best 1-2 punch?!?

Say what? Rob Morrow is kind of whiny and doesn't go well with anybody. I never liked him in Northern Exposure and thing he is woefully miscast in NUMB3ERS. I enjoy the show overall, but think it would be a total home run if just about anybody else was in that part. Bleh.

Bre

I'm glad to see that some of my staples, namely Grey's, Numb3rs, and HIMYM got the nod this year. Especially David Krumholtz because, well, yum.

Kevin

Nat, yeah, time to start watching some more.

Dave, I can understand how it would be easy to dislike Morrow. But Katie and I dig him. And we liked him in Northern Exposure, too. He was supposed to be whiny and annoying in that show. That was the character. I do, however, think he balances any whininess with enough "I'll beat you down" to make it work in this show.

Bec, I'm not going to say "yum" regarding Krumholtz. Sorry. Navi Rawat, perhaps. Katie likes Colby, she thinks he's a badass; not quite as badass as Jack Bauer, but still.

Dustin

Come on now, you're penalizing VH-1 because it messes with your TiVo programming, is that really fair? VH-1 needs all the help it can get from viewers like us. Besides Love Monkey (which yes, was cancelled way too early), how else are we supposed to get our fix of 80's nostalgia?

Kevin

Yeah, but they're making me a promise and taking it back. They lied!!!!

If they'd just get their scheduling straight, I'd love 'em for what they do. The fact they brought back Love Monkey is reason enough to love them.

SJ

WHAT?!?!?! Ethan Suplee is in a TV series and no one told me?!?! Oh, I am so gonna start watching that show!

Clearly, I don't watch enough network TV. I've never seen most of these shows, and I've never even heard of a few of them. But I enjoyed the dialog between you and Katie nonetheless.

I take it you guys aren't into sci-fi, huh?

Kevin

Oh heck yeah Suplee is in a show. Cast regular with his old Smith buddy, Jason Lee. And he's hilarious. Nope, not too much scifi. A little bit here and there for me, but not Katie.

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