I'm too sexy for...
I'm becoming slightly disturbed by a trend I've been noticing lately. My sleep-borne alter ego is a nudist!
Yep, I go to bed in my pajamas and wake up the next morning in either my underwear or -- the horror! -- nothing at all.
I don't get it. It's happened twice this week alone. And I even find myself embarrassed when I get up out of bed and discover my current level of fabric discontent. Embarrassed despite the fact that nobody is around to see me. Go fig, eh?
I don't know where this tendency comes from or why my sleep self would think it is socially acceptable even if it is a purely somnambulist social state.
Is there a 12-step program I can join? Some sort of Sleep Strip Support Group?
I need help! And I need it before I wake up some morning wrapped naked around a stripper pole.
Perhaps I'm just upset at the glaring lack of dollar bills stuffed in my skivvies when I wake up. Not a single greenback. Damn. You'd think if I was going to strip in my sleep, I'd at least make a show of it.
Latest Fun With Dead Trees reviews - Claire chimes in with You Can't Win by Jack Black.
I think you're just trying to keep the wife happy. :)
Posted by: sandra | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 11:19 AM
You stink... I did NOT need the mental image of you naked, wrapped around a stripper pole while I'm trying to eat lunch.
Anyway, embrace your inner nudist... You're not hurting anyone. Just make sure to wear 2 pairs of pants if you have house guests.
Posted by: Allison | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 11:36 AM
This is not something to be embarrassed of. I say stand tall and be proud of your nakedness. Actually, I had the same problem for awhile but I've got a roommate so I HAD to be embarrassed.
Posted by: Elaine | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 12:24 PM
Nightstripping deserves a quiet night.
I'm not sure all these people understand.
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught...
No, wait, what?!
Posted by: Bec | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 01:03 PM
What are these pajamas of which you speak? Doesn't everyone sleep in a tee and skivvies?
How curious.
Posted by: tiff | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 02:02 PM
Has Katie been smiling more than usual?
Posted by: SJ | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 02:49 PM
Sandra, If I'm trying, perhaps I should wait til she's actually awake. Might help.
Allison, you know you're jealous of my nocturnal shenanigans. Admit it.
Elaine, I AM MAN! WATCH ME STRIP IN MY SLEEP! ROAR!
Bec, I think you may have missed the actual spelling there somewhat. Could be wrong. ;-)
tiff, those self conscious members of society such as myself do. Only to strip them off and walk around downstairs in my underwear before I put on my clothes for work. Yeah, I'm an enigma.
SJ, she sleeps right through it. The stripping, that is. Hell, I sleep right through it. What does that tell ya?
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 03:06 PM
Kap, maybe you aren't stripping yourself. Maybe you're a deeper sleeper than you realize and your wifey is doing it in her sleep?
PS, if you're so embarrassed, why are you spreading this info all over the www for any joe to read. Hmmm, curious.
Posted by: jax | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 03:09 PM
the image of you wrapped around a stripper pole is now burned into my brain. thanks kevin. ;)
why not cut out the angst and just go to bed in your underwear? how does one wear pjs AND underwear. that feels like a lot of clothes to sleep in...but obviously i am giving too much personal info away. ahem!
Posted by: ms. sizzle | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 04:21 PM
Obviously, Katie is taking your clothes off in the middle of the night and molesting you. Then falling asleep before she can put them back on.
Posted by: kilax | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 04:23 PM
Jax, self-deprecating humor is something I try not to avoid especially if it makes for good blog entries.
Sizzle, I usually wear shorts to bed. But, now that it's getting cooler out, I'm switching over to pajama pants. But I never wear shirts or socks.
Kilax, I want to be AWAKE for that, dangit!
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 04:59 PM
Hrm, do you get up to urinate? Maybe you do and just subconsciously feel suffocated by your pants, bwahahaha.
Seriously though, I can go to bed in full on pj bottoms and a tank and wake up with just the tank after disrobing the bottoms in my sleep because I am hot.
Posted by: Hilly | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 06:50 PM
Yet another disturbing post. At least this time I read it at the end of my day instead of the beginning. And I agree with some of the other posters. Obviously Katie is responsible for the whole disrobing thing.
Posted by: Dagny | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 08:58 PM
Hilly, we all know you're hot... do you really have to rub it in? ;-)
Dagny, geez, you don't even know me and you're calling it disturbing. What if I was Brad Pitt blogging under the name "kapgar"?
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 09:04 PM
Ha! Still the same reaction if it was Brad Pitt. OK. Maybe for different reasons. I remember years ago when there were the rumors about Brad's lack of personal hygiene. Ewwww!
Posted by: Dagny | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 09:32 PM
Interesting. That has happened to me a few times as well. Maybe the underpant gnomes are to blame.
Posted by: nicole | Wednesday, 27 September 2006 at 09:39 PM
Dagny, George Clooney? Eric Bana? Russell Crowe? Matt Damon? What's it gonna take?
Nicole, freakish little bastards, aren't they?
Posted by: kapgar | Thursday, 28 September 2006 at 06:44 AM
Yay, baby! That's what I'm talkin' about! Hot Kapgar action en la noche!
Okay, so I'm actually not sure what I'm sure what I'm encouraging, but everytime I read a post about nudity I feel the need to hoot and jeer like a frat boy. Sorry.
Posted by: Dustin | Thursday, 28 September 2006 at 11:37 AM
I extremely dislike this blog! It would be better if I could reccomend it to anyone under 50. I don't approve of this blog because of the r-rated content. Kevin is a sick-minded perv that needs to lighten up the sexual content in this unbelievably sick blog. I hereby state that this blog is for the elderly folk.
=)
Posted by: Maud Flanders | Thursday, 28 September 2006 at 11:40 AM
Dustin, could you at least reassure your fiance by not cheering when it's male nudity and by doing so when it's female nudity?
Hey Maud! You're dead! Stay that way!
Was that you the last time, too, Dustin?
Posted by: kapgar | Thursday, 28 September 2006 at 12:14 PM
Hey, I'm equal opportunity when it comes to nudity.
Such poetry.
Posted by: Dustin | Thursday, 28 September 2006 at 01:03 PM
I'm sure the EOE is proud to have you on board.
Posted by: kapgar | Thursday, 28 September 2006 at 02:14 PM
Maybe you get uncomfortable, wake up just enough to take your clothes off, and fall right back to sleep. When I go to bed I'm always freezing, but I'll wake up at 3am because I'm too hot.
Posted by: Rabbit | Sunday, 01 October 2006 at 01:51 PM
If that's the case, which it most likely is, I'm still thoroughly unconscious as I do it. It scares me to think I can get so much done while unaware.
Posted by: kapgar | Monday, 02 October 2006 at 06:42 AM