Instead of depressing myself with a post about how pathetic Halloween was this year compared with last, I'm going to just give you a story about something that happened to me over the weekend. Is that cool with you?
Lady at the Jewel Deli Counter: How can I help you today, sir?
Me: Yes, I’d like a pound of the Chef’s Choice American cheese.
LatJDC: How would you like that cut?
Me: Ummm… I’m not sure how to answer that for cheese.
LatJDC: Well, I can give you a sandwich cut or you can have a giant one pound brick.
Me: Yeah, let’s go with slices.
LatJDC: You look hungry, would you like to try a sample?
Me: Okay, sure. Why not?
LatJDC: Here’s an end piece. It wouldn’t make for a full slice anyway. I always get in trouble because I do my grocery shopping when I’m hungry.
Me: That’s not a good idea.
LatJDC: I wind up buying all the stuff I don’t need and don’t want.
Me: Correction… you want it, you just don’t need it.
LatJDC: True. So do you like the cheese?
Me: Yep. It’s good stuff.
[Katie walks up with a perplexed look on her face.]
LatJDC: Oh, here’s another end piece you can eat.
Me: Um okay.
[I hand the second piece to Katie as slicing ensues.]
LatJDC: Here’s your pound of cheese. Would you like anything else?
Me: How about a half pound of the Sara Lee honey ham?
LatJDC: Sure. Would you like a sample of this as well?
Me: Yeah, okay.
LatJDC: Here’s two slices for you.
[I eat one slice and hand the other to Katie. Katie walks away to continue shopping. Slicing commences.]
Me [looking in the deli case]: Oh wow, you carry jalapeno poppers?
LatJDC: Yes, we carry them on occasion
Me: I’m going to have to remember to try those some time.
LatJDC: Here, try one.
Me: Oh, okay. Thanks.
LatJDC: What do you think?
Me: They’re very good. I’ll have to remember to get those the next time I have friends over.
LatJDC: Well bear in mind that we don’t carry them all the time. And when we do get them, they go fast.
Me: Okay, I’ll remember that. Thanks.
LatJDC: You’re welcome and here’s your ham. Have a great day.
I walk away and find Katie. She eyes me suspiciously and asks, “Is your new girlfriend finally done flirting with you?” I roll my eyes.
And thus begins my apparent affair of the stomach with the deli counter girl at Jewel/Osco.
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