Give it away, give it away, give it away now...
And I feel fine...

You've been hit by, you've been struck by...

One of the cool things about my job is that I've got a key card. This may not be a big deal to many of you, but it is to me. Read that again... I've. got. a. key. card. wOOt! (sorry, Karl)

I'm all kinds of big and important. It gets me in doors, clocks me in, identifies me as an employee instead of just some random schmuck off the street... just generally makes me feel cool.

If it worked.

I tried to use the employee fitness center after work last night before going to class. Entry to the center requires a key card. I scanned it and zippo.

Here I was all dressed up with no place to run.

So I hit the Riverwalk in downtown Naperville for a run/walk. I plugged my trusty iPod Shuffle in to my head and headed out.

Seeing as how we're no longer in daylight savings time, it was already really dark when I hit the trail. And, even though it's pretty well lit, the spaces between the streetlamps seemed immensely vast. The bushes and trees along the path appeared to be reaching out in a vain attempt to wrap themselves around my limbs and suck me into the dense foliage where not even the most astute police officer would ever find my rotting body.

My trepidation was not helped at all by the music that came up on my Shuffle...

It longs to kill you, are you willing to die?
-Chris Cornell, "You Know My Name"

What does? No!

We're gonna fight you brother, we're gonna fight until you lose
-Social Distortion, "Death or Glory"

What did I do to you?

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth criminal
-Alien Ant Farm, "Smooth Criminal"

Can you at least tell me which tree he's going to jump out from behind?

Crawl on me, sink into me, die for me
-Rob Zombie, "Living Dead Girl"

Do I at least have a say in this decision?

I suggest you grab your ankles and kiss your ass goodbye
-Cobra Starship, "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)"

No, really, I'm not that flexible.

This is the last song that I will dedicate to you
-Foo Fighters, "The Last Song"

Fine. Eat me.

And, with that, I unplugged my iPod from my head and got ready for class.

I've got one morbid friggin' workout playlist, don't I? Geez.

Comments

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BA

Ah...playlists, the advantages of a workout nano.

You may want to check out the Nike Nano. It's got a transmitter that goes in your shoe that tracks your workout. Pretty cool!

sandra

Yes. Yes you do. Mine is extraordinarily cheesy and definitely un-morbid...yet, totally embarrassing.

Allison

Hmmm, Kev, do you think maybe you should lay off the scary movies just a little? Your imagination seems to be getting the better of you. This is the Riverwalk... Where people ride in paddle boats and go to feed the duckies.

Dagny

Obviously the universe decided that you did not need to work out yesterday.

ms. sizzle

i think it would do you some good to put on some pop tunes. i'd be a bit freaked out too!

Juliette

My favorite game is freaking people out at the gym with the video playlist on my ipod. It never gets old to see people glance over at my ipod to see what I'm watching, only to be greeted by Marilyn Manson. That'll teach 'em to keep their eyes to themselves.

Chelle

On the upside, you listen to good music.

I am going to second the beauty of playlists. I have several of them for workouts. I can't help you though. My MP3 is a Philips GoGear. I like the idea of the Nike Nano.

Or go get your keycard fixed.

kapgar

BA, yeah, I thought about that. But it might depress me to know how piss poor my workouts truly are.

Sandra, then you must tell us more.

Allison, and yet all I heard were police sirens. Really.

Dagny, and did I listen?

Sizzle, pop!?!? Well, there are some on there. Those are just the edgier ones in tone and they just all happened to come on during this workout.

Juliette, or you could watch some softcore porn. But if you want to keep it relatively safe, go with "Come to Daddy" by Aphex Twin. Still the freakiest damn video I've ever seen.

Chelle, even with a fixed keycard, I'd still be listening to my Shuffle while working out. Music is a must to survive the drudgery of exercise.

Juliette

Softcore? Ha! You can actually download the hardcore stuff for video ipods now. Not that I ever have, of course...

diane

Ha ha!
First off--I understand about the keycard. When your business cards come in, you will be doing CARTWHEELS, I promise you!!
Second--Um, I listen to a lot of angry music when I work out to release tension/keep my heartrate up. So, one time while listening to Tool's "Prison Sex" I found myself singing along out loud (albeit quietly) at the gym. The lyrics?
"I have found some sort of temporary sanity in this...shit, blood and cum on my hands."
Yeah. I am going to be the last to criticize. ;)

kapgar

Jules, uh huh, sure you haven't.

diane, woah. Better than some Sublime songs you could be singing. And yes, I was practically doing cartwheels when my business cards came in yesterday. I gave Katie the first one in the box.

SJ

This wasn't the omnipotent doPi, was it? It sure seemed to sense just the "right" kind of music to play!

Hey! I think I MAY be getting an iPod for my birthday!!!

Alissa

Ooooo! A key card! I worked at an art gallery and we had key fobs (little electronic things that only let us through certain doors) and we clocked in by scanning our palm! How cool is that? It was so fun.

Bre

And that's why I either run to classical music or country... not a lot of threats on either end!

kapgar

SJ, sadly, doPi's been retired for a while since I got Black iP, but this wasn't even him. It was my Shuffle. Cool on the iPod! Welcome to the PodBorg.

Alissa, you clocked in by scanning your palm? Freaky.

Bre, I don't think either could give me enough of the energy I need. Country would do better. But I think only Flight of the Valkyrie would do it for me in terms of classical. And then I'd have to continuously loop it.

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