See you in the funny pages...

I gave up reading the "funny pages" section of any given newspaper on a regular basis years ago. Basically, it's because it's been years since any comic strip, other than Dilbert, has consistently lived up to the name "funny." But, since I subscribe to Dilbert's RSS feed, there's no reason to look at the paper to see the strip.

I think I can trace my disdain back to the official retirement of Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes, Berkley Breathed's Bloom County (his subsequent strips have been terrible), and Gary Larson's The Far Side, all of which occurred in eerily short order as I recall.

Yet, every once in a while, I will open to the comics page of a newspaper mostly because I'm hankering for a Sudoku, Cryptogram, or crossword puzzle. While there, I may read a strip or two just to see if any of them are even remotely decent.

Yesterday, during my lunch break, I actually did attempt to read all the funnies in one paper. Yes, all of them.

And my eyes haven't stopped bleeding since.

Shall I recap?

Garfield
I could never say it as well as Dave did some time ago, so I won't even bother, save to say I was ready to use the cat's imaginary noose on myself.

Garfield07jan15

The Duplex
The artist actually has the gall to use his daily strip as a means to whore out copies of books with his collected works. Not just a small banner, but the whole strip! WT...???

Duplex07jan15

Grand Avenue
Aside from having never of it before today, I'd like to ask how many times this joke has been used in the past.

Grandavenue07jan15

The Family Circus
Wow! They gave the dad a flat-panel TV to sit far too close to. Now if only they could give the comedic element of the strip a similar overhaul.

Oooohhh... and the site can't even give me the most recent version of the comic without paying a subscription fee. Bite me Bil Keane!

Dennis
Did I miss something? I thought this used to be called Dennis the Menace? If this is some kind of PC reaction to a parents' group complaining about the "menace" descriptor used for a child, so help me...

And I can't get the most recent copy of this, either. Grrrr...

The Dinette Set
This is supposed to be funny? Really? How? What I don't get is all the additional crap that is written on walls, menus, shirts, etc. throughout the strip. It's almost like the artist promises to shill for companies or give shout-outs to friends in the strip. I don't get it.

Dinetteset07jan15

Wizard of Id and B.C.
Have either of these ever been funny? I remember never laughing at them as a child, either. And I had a damn fine sense of humor back then, too.

Wizardofid07jan15

Bc07jan15_1

Please, somebody just axe them all. Or shoot me. Whichever will serve the greater good.

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Comments

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Jacquie

Hi friend. Miss me? Hey I love this post. Very good idea. I agree with you on the comics. I stopped reading them ages ago. I thought the born loser was usually pretty cute and so was the one with the older couple that always made snarky sarcastic comments to each other. Lois and something or other.

I used to write a comic strip in junior high. It was called Ednerd and it was based on my next door neighbor. I thought it was pretty funny. I have considered getting it published but then there's the fear of running out of material.

BA

I agree completely. It's sad when the political cartoons are actually the funniest ones.

And, I too miss Calvin & Hobbs and Bloom County.

Dagny

*sigh* I miss those three strips as well. Calvin was truly my fave.

The only one that saves the SF paper these days is Rhymes with Orange. That and the crossword puzzles.

francesdanger

I stopped reading comics when Sam Watterson retired too. No one will ever match the wonder that is The Transmogrifier.

diane

If you get a chance, pop over to http://www.dieselsweeties.com and support R. Stevens in his effort to achieve nation-wide syndication. It's not Calvin and Hobbes, but it's better than most of the crap out there. :)

Eve

Until I was 25, I went every Sunday afternoon to my grandparents' house for dinner and that's when I'd read the paper and the entire "funny pages" section. I mainly liked Calvin and Hobbes, Far Side, Bloom County, Peanuts, and Doonesbury. Cathy was ok too, because it appealed to my neurotic feminine side (lol). There might have been a few more here and there over the years, but the majority of the strips were terrible.

Jill

Axe the funnies. Don't shoot the Kapgar. Gosh, I can't believe that was even a question.

suze

i miss calvin and hobbes so much. at least I can still get my far side fix from the calendars...

kapgar

Jacquie, didn't you post one of those Ednerd comics on your blog some time ago? I thought I remembered a drawing you did on your site one time.

BA, and the political ones do get pretty darn funny from time to time.

Dagny, I'll have to check out Rhymes With Orange (nothing does). Thanks for the tip.

frances, C&H was the best!

diane, thanks! I'll check his stuff out.

Eve, I somehow doubt C&H made it to your 25th birthday. You're only a year older than me and C&H went under when I was in high school or very early college as I recall. But I get what you mean.

Jill, well I had to put the option out there and see who my true friends were. ;-)

Suze, yeah, but how many times can we see the same Far Side after a while? I'm kinda tired of the same old, same old. Unfortunately.

Erin

Too bad your paper doesn't run "Heart of the City" or "Think Fuzzy." Both are consistently wonderful and funny. I heart Heart (and her dorky boyfriend who dressed up as all six of the Reservoir Dogs last Halloween,) and Bucky and Satchel are regular icons over at my blog. Both series have books that are well worth checking out.

claire

I used to read them religiously but stopped when C&H came to an end. It was/is still my fave.

Every now and then I read Non-sequitur which is wacky and offbeat in a good way- sometimes political. You can check it out here:
http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/

rennratt

I still read the funnies, generally after I read the obituaries.

I can't always tell the difference.

I love Rhymes with Orange, Get Fuzzy, Non Sequitur, Zits, Bizarro and Pearls Before Swine.

Dennis is still a Menace in our newspaper.

Brandon

Ever since Aaron McGruder took a permanent break from The Boondocks, I haven't bothered. Get Fuzzy is good though and so is Big Top.

kapgar

Erin, never heard of Heart of the City, but I have read Get Fuzzy before. I just don't remember what paper it was in locally.

Claire, I know I've read NonSequitur before. An old coworker used to cut out the occasional strip and give it to me when he thought it was funny.

rennratt, maybe it's just a weekday thing with Dennis in this paper. I noticed in their Sunday version, which I went back to check out afterward, he was "The Menace" in there.

Brandon, MacGruder gave up Boondocks? When did this happen?

Karl

yeah, the funnies haven't been funny for a while. I agree with you, the trifecta in recent years was Far Side, Bloom County, and Calvin and Hobbes. Foxtrot, one of the only things worth looking at lately, just went to a Sunday-only format. *sigh*

kapgar

I read that. Weird. I wonder if he's just burned out on it? If so, maybe he should just retire it instead of letting it become watered down. But, at least I won't miss anything as I only get the Sunday newspaper. I know, I know... I'm saying this to a newspaper man. Sorry.

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