I gave up reading the "funny pages" section of any given newspaper on a regular basis years ago. Basically, it's because it's been years since any comic strip, other than Dilbert, has consistently lived up to the name "funny." But, since I subscribe to Dilbert's RSS feed, there's no reason to look at the paper to see the strip.
I think I can trace my disdain back to the official retirement of Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes, Berkley Breathed's Bloom County (his subsequent strips have been terrible), and Gary Larson's The Far Side, all of which occurred in eerily short order as I recall.
Yet, every once in a while, I will open to the comics page of a newspaper mostly because I'm hankering for a Sudoku, Cryptogram, or crossword puzzle. While there, I may read a strip or two just to see if any of them are even remotely decent.
Yesterday, during my lunch break, I actually did attempt to read all the funnies in one paper. Yes, all of them.
And my eyes haven't stopped bleeding since.
Shall I recap?
I could never say it as well as Dave did some time ago, so I won't even bother, save to say I was ready to use the cat's imaginary noose on myself.
The artist actually has the gall to use his daily strip as a means to whore out copies of books with his collected works. Not just a small banner, but the whole strip! WT...???
Aside from having never of it before today, I'd like to ask how many times this joke has been used in the past.
The Family Circus
Wow! They gave the dad a flat-panel TV to sit far too close to. Now if only they could give the comedic element of the strip a similar overhaul.
Oooohhh... and the site can't even give me the most recent version of the comic without paying a subscription fee. Bite me Bil Keane!
Did I miss something? I thought this used to be called Dennis the Menace? If this is some kind of PC reaction to a parents' group complaining about the "menace" descriptor used for a child, so help me...
And I can't get the most recent copy of this, either. Grrrr...
The Dinette Set
This is supposed to be funny? Really? How? What I don't get is all the additional crap that is written on walls, menus, shirts, etc. throughout the strip. It's almost like the artist promises to shill for companies or give shout-outs to friends in the strip. I don't get it.
Wizard of Id and B.C.
Have either of these ever been funny? I remember never laughing at them as a child, either. And I had a damn fine sense of humor back then, too.
Please, somebody just axe them all. Or shoot me. Whichever will serve the greater good.