No more, no more...
I, I feel so alive...

And I've got to get that message home...

I think the Chinese may have been on to something. Or, at the very least, those fortune cookie companies that purport to be from China anyway.

The other day, Katie and I pulled in front of Home Depot so she could run in and pay our Depot credit bill. She took my wallet since she didn't have her card on her. When she handed my Depot card to the cashier, the cashier peered down with a puzzled look on her face at the small slip of paper that was stuck to the back of the card. "You might want this back," she said, handing Katie a fortune cookie fortune that I forgot I had in my wallet.

After forcing down a sudden desire to devour some sesame chicken, Katie asked why I had a fortune in my wallet. I told her the truth... "it's not the only one."

I thumbed between a couple cards in my wallet and pulled out seven different fortunes that I had collected over the years from what appears to be three different restaurants (or cookie manufacturers, as the case may be, based on the different design styles).

I'm not typically superstitious or a big believer in the seer-style of living my life, but, for some reason, I dug these and held on to them. And these, I felt, were pretty decent. Check them out...

"Listen these next few days to your friends to get answers you seek"
I received this one about the time I was interviewing for my current job. And I actually did call some friends for help with it (you know who you are and I thank you).

"You will soon be on a secret mission of the heart"
Not nearly as adulterous as it may initially be interpreted. I thought it applied much more to an unbenownst-to-Katie project I was undertaking to try to fix a broken necklace I gave to Katie as a wedding present.

"It's okay to slow down and smell the roses"
Advice moreso than a fortune. But just something that I think many of us forget to do.

"Appreciate the caring people who surround you"
Katie, my family, her family, and all of our friends (including all of you)!

"Your talents will be recognized and rewarded"
Work related. I'm not going to go into it. ;-)

"Your leadership qualities will shine soon"
See above. But I suppose both of these could work when considered along with the class I was supposed to teach and will probably be teaching this summer.

"You will discover something wonderful about yourself"

As much as I'm hoping this will translate into me finding a large cache of cash that I forgot I horded as a child, I somehow doubt it. This is the one that I have yet to realize, but if the first six are any indication, it should be pretty nice!

Really, I'm not a junk collector. Honestly. It was just a matter of considering how many fortunes anymore are complete crap. So these few were pleasant surprises. And, apparently, worthy of being slipped into my wallet. Heh.

Comments

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holygirl

I totally save the good fortunes too. They are much better than the crap written on Dave Promises wrappers.

tori

My daughter saves the fortunes that mean something to her also. I had no idea until she showed me her "special place" for the fortunes and explained them to me. Thank you for sharing this!

Scott

The best one I ever got was "Please choose another fortune". Kind of sums up my life to this point. Like you, it's in my wallet as we speak and it'll probably be there until it withers away to nothing.

Dagny

I thought that everyone saves the fortunes that have special meaning. I saved one I got on the day my mother arrived for her latest visit. It's around here somewhere. It said something positive about the work situation. And now that it looks like I may not be getting laid off, I am inclined to believe it.

Dave2

The only one I've kept says "Everyone agrees you are the best."

It's kind of hard to let something like that go!

SJ

Did anyone notice HolyGirl typed "Dave Promises" instead of "Dove Promises"? I'd put more stock in a *Dave* Promise, for sure! The only Dove Promise you can believe is "Your ass will enlarge with each morsel."

The night my first husband proposed to me, we had dinner at our favorite Chinese place. His fortune said: "You are a very lucky man." My fortune said: "Think carefully to avoid a serious mistake." I thought it was hilarious at the time. If only I'd listened! And yes, I kept them, in our Hallmark wedding album.

Karl

Fortunes really suck these days. All the ones I see can't even be considered *fortunes*.

Bre

I once got one that said "A cake is waiting for you"


They lied.

There was no cake.

kilax

Steven and I are very meticulous about fortune cookies... there is a whole procedure for who gets which cookie. And obviously, if I got the better fortune, then the wrong cookie was given to me.

sizzle

i should really start eating chinese food.

diane

Oh, I love fortune cookies! I still have one I got in high school that said, "You would make a good lawyer." It had a smiley face at the end of the fortune. I am convinced my mom was in cahoots with the restaurant owner.
Last Friday, right before my b-day, I got one that said, "You are in for a pleasant surprise." And I got a waffle iron! That was indeed a pleasant surprise!

kapgar

holygirl, what's a "Dave Promises" wrapper?

tori, you're welcome. That's cool that your daughter saves them as well. I don't feel like such a loser anymore.

Scott, that's classic. Keep that forever.

Dagny, I wasn't sure if people really saved them or if it was just lip service. Apparently not.

Dave, I think that was meant for me. ;-)

SJ, "Dave Promises" or "Dove Promises" I still have no idea what it is.

Karl, hence why I keep the good ones. As rare as they are.

Bre, sorry they lied.

kilax, sounds like a good deal for him and crap for you. Sorry.

sizzle, yes, you should!

diane, I think you just need your mother around during times when your luck could swing either way. Sounds like she's a good luck charm!

Kyra

I have ONE fortune that I have held on to. I got it when I was in the early stages of my relationship with my husband (as in a few weeks dating.) It says "You will marry your present lover and be happy."

Which, frankly - is FREAKY. No one believes me until I show them. otherwise, all mine generally are "the sun shines even when it's raining" or something stupid. But that one... very weird.

Hilly

I've never held onto them for more than the next "purse cleaning". I totally am the anti-pack rat so I just get flustered if there are things in my purse like that.

But I think it is cute that you keep yours. Maybe one day we can have Chinese food together...then I will keep the fortune!

The Exception

What a great idea. I am going to have to start paying more attention to the fortunes in my cookies! I do agree that they are not as great as they were years ago - maybe the places I haunt just use the wrong company!

kapgar

Kyra, very weird, but very cool. Definitely a keeper.

Hilly, looking forward to it!

Exception, I think it's all the companies in all honesty. 70% of "fortunes" are a joke. All we can do is hope the cookie isn't stale.

g-man

I used to keep the odd one because I liked the message. I'd tape them to my monitor or something so I could see them. The best joke one I ever heard was "That wasn't chicken."

Have a good one.

"You will be blessed by good fortune ...

your lucky numbers are 13 12 7 69 42 and 5"

Foo

I have two saved on my magnetic board at work "You are original and creative" and "Go Fuck Yourself" - the restaurant owner slipped us the naughty ones, :o) - I think it's cool that other people hang on to them too.

kapgar

g-man, I used to tape them to my monitor as well. Been a while, though. It seemed like I was getting a new monitor at work every six months. Decorating lost its appeal.

Foo, you get naughty ones?!?! I'm jealous!

SJ

You've never seen Dove Promises candies? Little morsels of Dove chocolate, and each wrapper has a "fortune" or wish printed on the inside.

A Dave Promise would, of course, be a vow of undying devotion from THE Dave, Dave2. Or something similar.

SJ

Incidentally, I'm starting to think you Chicago-area residents are totally getting shafted on your candy selections. No Reese's PBC in holiday shapes, and now no Dove Promises. You DO have Mon Cheris, don't you?

kapgar

SJ, now I know what you're talking about. Never knew they were called that, though. Discovered we do have shaped PBCs as well. I just don't hang in the candy aisles like I used to. Katie, as it turns out, is a big PBC egg fan. And I have had them. But I had this mental image of something akin to the shape of Cadbury's... a full 3D egg. Now what's Mon Cheris?

Eileen Dover

I always like to add 'in bed' to the end of my fortune.


It adds a whole new dimension.

Especially when out with coworkers, and everyone reads their fortune, adding 'in bed' at the end.

kapgar

Eileen, so if you receive a real fortune cookie fortune that actually ends in "in bed" do you double it up or do they cancel out like how two negatives is a positive. I don't mean to imply that being in bed is a negative. Far from it, in fact!

steppingoverthejunk

You must have a really FAT wallet...and not from all the money~

kapgar

Sadly, not from the money.

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