And party every day...
And I've got to get that message home...

No more, no more...

Wow, after receiving a comment from my brother in law, Scott, yesterday congratulating me on two days in a row of what he deemed "perfect posts," I really feel bad that I'm about to lay the schlock down on you today. But, oh well, my streak had to come to a crashing halt sometime, right? And what better way to do that than with snippets!!!

Hang Up
Do I exude "poverty"? When you think about me and what you know about my life, does the concept of "destitution" subsequently pop in your head?

At home last night after work, I received a call identified on our caller ID as my alma, "Northern Ill. Univ."

"Uh oh," my brain said. "They want money. Do I pick it up? Do I not? I already know I'm going to say 'no' but should I at least let them talk and then practice my repertoire of denial methods? Yeah, let's practice." So I picked up.

"Mr. Apgar," the telemarketer said. "My name is Susie Jonesingforyou and I'm calling on behalf of Northern Illi..." and the line went dead.

Did she realize who she was talking to and suddenly just know that there was no money to be had? I can just envision her supervisors in the background... "Crap! It's that Apgar bastage! Hang up! Hang up!"

Wow, I've got a reputation. Or I'm just reading into this too much.

Reading into it is so much more fun, though, isn't it? ;-)

Sadly, my two park district classes were cancelled. Apparently, there was a general lack of registration across the board on their classes and several were canned as a result.

I'm bummed about it and, at the same time, a bit relieved. An odd mix, I'm sure. I was looking forward to teaching, but I was simultaneously anxious about my ability to do it. I felt wholly underprepared despite the classes being about topics I know fairly well (blogging and photography).

I think they're going to try again this summer. Cross your fingers for me. Please?

I've blazed myself a path down a slippery slope. This past week, I packed Katie a lunch. Sandwich, apple sauce, and a piece of fruit. I put it, complete with a little note, in her ladybug lunch bag (yes, we both have lunchbags; her's looks like a ladybug because she likes them) and stuck it in the fridge for her to find when she left for work.

She was caught completely off guard and absolutely loved it. That's great, right?

Yeah, until she starts to give you the "pouty, guilty eyes" when you don't do the same every day thereafter.

Help! I'm slipping!

All Dolled Up
Oh, and speaking of birthdays, as I was yesterday, it turns out that while on a shopping trip with Katie, my mom bought a gift for our not-yet-even-conceived daughter. It would seem she's dropping not-so-subtle hints in our general direction, wouldn't you say?

And the gift? A doll... GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I guess it could've been a ventriloquist dummy...

Painted like a clown...

That suddenly comes to life and eats my flesh...

But this is pretty darn close.

My mom's response to Katie when she -- God love her -- expressed concern on my behalf regarding it being a doll... "He needs to grow a pair."

Love you too, mom.


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I understand very well the mixed feeling of sadness and relief when something gets cancelled like that. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for the summer.

I think I love your mom!


Does bastage count for the cursing resolution? That is a close one.

As for the doll, just wait. You are going to have a little girl that loves those things... She's going to want nothing but babydolls. It's karma. Hence the fact that I have a little girl that plays with dolls, loves to play dress up and wear skirts and dresses and do all that girlie stuff.


You should adopt a baby girl and give it to your mom for her birthday. It's a win-win scenario!


That's why you really have to be careful about the sweet deeds you do. They tend to expect that it'd become a habit.


All out of ideas for a Thursday post?

Just kidding, even Dilbert's not enjoyable everyday.


If my mom did that, I would freak out. One of the things that has made me hesitant to even THINK about having children is the way my parents spoil my nephew and do other things against his parent's wishes. I know that it is innate to spoil your grandkids, but this kid can't walk in his room because he has so many toys!


I don't think 'bastage' counts as a violation since technically it's a movie quote. Fargin bastage on the other hand...

Ventriliquest dummies scare the crap outta me.


tori, I knew someone would say that about her. Grrrrr...

Allison, "bastage" does not count as I stated in the original post that Roman Moroni-fied cursing from Johnny Dangerously was deemed okay by Katie. Ha!

Dave2, I LIKE IT!!!

Karl, it's a slippery slope, isn't it?

Scott, wow! Comparing me to Scott Adams (not you)! I'll take it.

kilax, that prospect scares me, too.

holygirl, "fargin' bastage" still works too. Johnny Dangerously quotes are fine as per Katie. It's no wonder to me that the abbreviation for Ventriloquist Dummies is VD. Quite appropriate in my mind.


Ha ha ha!! I love Dave's idea! I might do that for my mom & dad, too. :p
I know I am going to have the curse of birthing nothing but boys, boys, boys, since I love to fuss over Hello Kitty toys and itty bitty pink shoes.


Wow, I would freak if my MIL bought me anything baby related prior to actually having one...that doll would be floating face down in the nearest body of water. K, maybe that's a little harsh, I'm sure she meant well, but I'm with you, dolls suck :o)

Bummer about your blogging class, I should send you my course materials just in case.


your mom said you should grow a pair? ha ha!

that was so sweet of you to pack katie's lunch, no wonder she wants you to keep it up. and a note? you're so fucking nice kevin!


Moms are supportive like that.

Clowns are freaky like that.


Let's put our mothers in a room together.


You got off easy with your alma mater. Rejoice! Mine has current students (armed with the figures on what you donated the year before) do the calling to make you feel more guilty.

Last year, they called on my birthday around quarter after nine- PM. I only picked up the landline because I thought it was my bro. What a drag.


diane, maybe, when the time comes, we should do a kiddie swap meet. Since karma is sure to bless me with girls and you with boys, we'll trade. ;-) (should my future children ever find this post, this is a joke! I love you, kids!)

Foo, PLEASE DO. It would constitute far more preparation than I've done. Just kidding. About the lack of preparation, that is. Please send them so I can compare and see what should be added. I would appreciate it.

Sizzle, and it bit me in the butt, didn't it? ;-)

TSM, agreed on both counts.

Dagny, wouldn't the world implode?

claire, you should've talked as though you were drunk off your butt. Then ask if a drunken verbal promise to pledge "100 billyun dollursh" is legally binding.

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