How can a view become so twisted...

Hello there Kapgar fans! I'm Dave from Blogography, and I'll be your guest-blogger for the day.

Usually I respectfully decline invitations to write for other blogs, because it's hard enough finding time to come up with something for my own blog. But I'm a huge Kapgar fan, and simply could not refuse when my good friend Kevin came looking for people to fill-in while he and Katie are tearing up Vegas.

Besides... guest-blogging from time to time is an excellent opportunity to do things you've always wanted to do, but are scared to put in your own blog. Politics? Sex? Religion? Violence? It's all fair game. Because once you post it, the ramifications of what you've done are somebody else's problem.

So I've decided to draw up some controversial cartoon ideas I've always wanted to do, but was afraid to show on Blogography...

Slapping the salami.

Polishing the knob.

Choking the chicken.

Spanking the monkey.

Shocking, I know. But hey, don't blame me... it's Kevin's blog! Feel free to write him all the nasty comments and inflammatory hate-mail you want!

Previous Post

The Internal Battle (or: on women and sex)

Jun 3
First of all, hi! I'm rather pumped to be guest-blogging for the fabulous Kevin while him and Katie live it up in Vegas. I should point out that I kind of suck for not writing this until almost 3 p.m....
Next Post

Welcome back...

Jun 5
What the holy heck happened here while I was gone? My stats are through the roof, subscribers to the site are way up, and all my guest bloggers get a ton more comments than I get? On my own site???...


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Why does it say "Posted by snackiepoo"?


Not only does he post on someone else's blog but then he tries to blame the post on yet another blogger. Smooth.

Oh, and please tell me that no animals were harmed in the creation of the above cartoons.


Because Dave likes to play dress-up?

I think Dagny hit it on the nose...he's special OR for various reasons he needed someone else to copy and paste his post into Kevin's TypePad....believe what you will.


Damn, Dave, your salami is huge!


Oooooh, oooh... so today's theme is: nah, nevermind. You'd never believe what I was going to say.


Yeah, Dave, like no one would find you.

I think the concept is positively brilliant though.

Guest Blogging: All of the fun. None of the responsibility.

Miss Britt

That salami looks amazing! Which is odd, because usually salami just looks funny, ya know?


Thank god you weren't burpin' the worm.


It feels odd commenting on this post but...."slapping the salami" is one of my faves. It's the way Lil Dave looks or something!

Mist 1

Oh, the poor salami. What did it ever do to you?


Such intensity and/or anger in the first panel. Looks like Lil' Dave takes his salami-slapping pretty seriously!


Man. That salami must have really gotten you worked up, if looks could kill, it'd be dead meat.


I love the fact that the chicken looks mildly surprised by the choking like it knew it was coming but is still amazed lil' Dave is going through with it...

Yep, too many thoughts.


In college I had a professor who talked about how you should never abuse your monkey. My friend and I burst out laughing, but he was talking about something else and apparently my friend and I were the only ones who laughed. I still have no idea what he was actually talking about. It made that class more interesting that day though.




I need that salami slappin' toon on a T-shirt so I'll be checking the store for it, okay?? :-)


Must have a choking the chicken t-shirt.


Heehee. I like the chicken one...


I think I will print these and make up signs that say "Back in 5 minutes" to hang on my cube.


Nice ones! You are funny. The salami one I like, you look so intense or mad.


SJ... I am in the middle of some stuff, and wrote this entry last week because I don't have access to a computer all the time. Hilly was nice enough to post it for me.

Dagny... Only cartoon animals! Though, if you must know, Bad Monkey likes to be spanked from time to time.

Hilly... Dave is insane. I think that pretty much sums it up.

Karl... I try not to brag, but...

Shari... I'm sure I wouldn't! Where is YOUR mind today?

Stacey... Hah! See if Kevin is ever crazy enough to ask ME again!!

Britt... You have no idea the trauma involved in trying to draw a realistic cartoon salami. It's not as easy as you might think!

Rick... I ran out of time! Even though I don't think I know what that means... :-P

Hilly... Lil' Dave is a vegetarian as well, so he's pretty angry about the entire idea of salami in general. BAD SALAMI! BAD!!

Mist 1... Many Bothans... died... to make that salami. And by Bothans I mean cows. So, technically, it was the Bothan-murdering Imperial Scum that he's angry at. :-D

Jeff... Indeed he does! There's no point in slapping the salami unless you are totally serious about the task at hand (-ahem-).

Bre... Or dead cow...?

Tori... I dunno... I think the occasional monkey might like getting spanked a bit. So would that be abuse then? I guess we could always go ask your professor!

MetalMom... OMFG! THX!!

Lela... Salami-slapping is best experienced in private, so I'm not sure how many shirts I could sell for something like that?

Foo... Only to have Peta pour red paint on you and kick your ass or something! Would you really risk it?

Suze... Yeah, it's pretty good... for everybody but the chicken!

G-Man... You must not spank your monkey very thoroughly if it only takes five minutes! Anything worth doing is worth doing right... or left... if you happen to be left-handed.

Patty... Just serious. Lil' Dave is very serious about slapping his salami. As everybody should be! :-)


NOOOO... Not spanking BadMonkey !
I love him !


Dave2, you ARE going to put these designs up in the next voting session, aren't you?

But then again, if you offered every cartoon someone wants on a T in your store, you have THE BIGGEST ONLINE STORE IN THE UNIVERSE!!!

Actually, that seems rather appropriate for Your Daveness.


I'll never forget the day that a friend of mine, who knew nothing about these types and sorts of sexual debauchery and fun, said to me: "So, what's this I overheard about choking the turkey." I about died. Ah, the innocence of a good church-going girl. She would not have been happy to see these cartoons, Dave.


This will probably be Kevin's highest trafficked (sp?) post ever.


Laurence... Something tells me that this entry will be lost in translation to Kevin's foreign readers...

SJ... Except somebody has to pay for all that inventory and, given my non-millionaire status, it ain't gonna be me!

Lewis... She probably wouldn't understand them! That's the beauty of it... they're only as dirty as the viewer's mind! And, uhhhh... given Kapgar's audience, that could be pretty bad. But not as bad as MY audience probably... :-D

Kilax... Since I put full titles of the images in the ALT tags, you could be right! I'm sure it will get even worse once search engines index it... people just love searching for pervy stuff like "spanking the monkey." So Kevin, you're totally welcome for your increased Google traffic!


It's a good thing you didn't get around to beating the bishop.

Tracy Lynn

I always suspected Dave was a salami slapper. It's nice to be vindicated.

Iron Fist

Nobody punishes processed foodstuffs, domestic fowl, or simians quite the way Dave2 does.


Yellojkt... I wouldn't want Kevin accused of religious intolerance, so I didn't want to molest any bishops or other church officials here.

Tracy Lynn... As a vegetarian, beating meat is okay... I'm just not allowed to eat it. :-)

Iron Fist... He does a heck on a job on doorknobs too!


I... I... I...

Oh boy.

Wayne Hall

Ya know, I've always wondered if there were some lurking cartoons that you've never, um, had the balls to display on your own site. Glad to know it was true.

I was also wondering as I perused your gallery here what other phrases didn't make the cut, either because they would be too graphic for a graphic artist to make, or if maybe the picture wouldn't be funny. Like George Carlin's "shaking hands with the unemployed" euphemism.

Good stuff.




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