Hey, I finally got around to listening to the Jay-Z album -- The Black Album -- I got from the library and Dagny, Hilly, and Erin are right... he's damn good. So before I get into this post, I need to thank all three of them for the recommendation made back in my "bands for each decade" post.
Something about the name "99 Problems" struck me as familiar when I saw it on the track list on my iPod, so I skipped ahead to it. As soon as I heard it, I was certain I knew it.
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you son.
I got 99 problems, but a ***** ain't one.
Huh? What? Jay, talk to me, man! What are you trying to say? What ain't one?
Hmm, maybe it was a glitch in the CD. This has been known to happen on library checkouts. They get beat to death and nobody ever cleans or descratches them. Yeah, it's gotta be a glitch. Let's keep listening shall we?
...You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough.
I'm like **** critics you can kiss my whole *******.
Uh-oh, I heard it two more times. The what critics can kiss your whole what?
This isn't looking good.
It would appear that my library, or whichever library sent this out on interlibrary loan, decided to stick me with the safe-for-WalMart, censored edition.
Oh how I hate this crap. I'm getting screwed by the Censorship Police and Tipper didn't even cuddle with me afterwards. Inconsiderate *****.
There's nothing I hate more than censorship of music, movies, and television. Oh wait, one thing I hate more, not being warned that it's happening.
Something similar happened one time when I bought a CD from Wal-Mart. What you must understand is that Wal-Mart is not always a big fan of the Parental Advisory labels. They think it looks bad for a good Christian mother to see her kids asking to buy a CD with one of those black-and-white monstrosities on them. You'd think this is a good thing. If they don't like those labels, then they carry the real album in all its nasty glory, right? Not the case. Wal-Mart, being the powerhouse negotiator they are, manages to get record companies to press alternate copies for them. Ones that don't need the Parental Advisory label because they have no inappropriate content seeing as how it's all been cut out or bleeped over.
I bought whatever CD it happened to be at the time and took it home and played it. There were sound cuts throughout. It had been edited and nowhere on the wrapping or price tag did it say as such.
The next day I took that piece of sanitized BS back to the Retail Borg (tm) and demanded a refund. They wouldn't give it to me. I was in shock. I had effectively been tricked into buying the wrong thing. As far as I was concerned, it was a variant of the old bait and switch tactic. You come in under the guise of great prices to buy a CD and are not given what you expect.
I have never purchased another CD from Wal-Mart since.
But I still must rectify the Jay-Z situation. I need to hear this album in all its curse-laden glory and not even iTunes has the whole thing! I think I may have to stop at a store and, gulp, buy a CD!!! I haven't done this in a long time. I only buy the digital tracks anymore. Woah.
Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Seriously. Who dreams about resodding their backyard? When they live in a townhouse???
Oh yeah... me, apparently.