Don't need nothin' but a good time...
Look out, here comes the Spider-Pig...

The time that I thought would last...

I'm curious what happened to the "right" time?

Confused?

Okay, when I was young, there was a point in my life when girls suddenly and miraculously changed from friends (I never bought into the cootie factor) to someone you, well, like... as more than just friends.

And nothing plays harder into this discovery phase than older women. If you're lucky, you have a friend with a hot older sister and you start to hang out at their place more often. Maybe it's a babysitter and, suddenly, your whining for independence and lessened supervision when your parents go out wanes a bit.

Being as ingrained in pop culture as I've always been, the first women I looked at as sex symbols were those on the screen (both large and small) as well as in the music industry. Elisabeth Shue of The Karate Kid and Cocktail, Belinda Carlisle of The Go-Go's, Maureen McCormick of The Brady Bunch (in syndication, of course), and Virginia Madsen of that picture I tore out of a magazine and had hanging on the wall of my bedroom for a good five or more years.

The problem, besides them being famous and completely out of reach, is that they were far too old for me at the time. I realized that even then. But it never stopped the drooling.

Time passed. Yet I don't seem to recall, in the intervening years from Ali ditching Daniel just before his trip to Okinawa to the last several years, any celebrities that did as much for me as my early crushes.

Recently, however, I've developed another series of mini crushes and my tendencies have gone completely reverse. This time around, they're all far too young for me! Megan Fox of Transformers (does anyone realize that she was only three years old when her fiancee, Brian Austin Green, started on Beverly Hills 90210?); Joss Stone of, well, Joss Stone; and another young actress who shall remain nameless due to the fact that she's not quite legal yet suffice it to say that she makes for a cute on-screen cheerleader.

What the heck?!?! Shouldn't there have been some sort of reverse sliding scale to ease me into this stage of celebrity lust? As I aged, shouldn't there have been other actresses or singers I liked that slowly moved closer in age to myself before they suddenly became younger than me?

Apparently not.

I skipped directly from horny pre-teen to old-ass pervert in what feels like no time at all.

Oh goodie.

Comments

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Scott

I'm 26 and I know how you feel. Damn that "cute on-screen cheerleader". I don't even watch the show and I know about her. Whenever I think of her, I go to "Remember the Titans" and it all goes away......for about five seconds.

metalmom

It's disgusting that Harry Potter looks HOT without his shirt! I just thank God that Son1 and Son2 have both aged over 20! Their friends.....!!!!

Dagny

On that last one I knew just who you meant before reading the words "cute on-screen cheerleader." Probably because I remembered that you like "Heroes." I just watched that cheerleader movie again this past weekend.

sizzle

i think it is because as a kid we want to grow up so fast and as an adult we miss our youth...so it follows we'd crush on those opposites.

though i don't know if this is a guy thing or not because i don't tend to crush on younger men.

or it could be that hawt is hawt!

kilax

How does katie feel about all this? ;)

kapgar

Scott, the thing is that I remember seeing her early stuff like Titans and thinking, "dang, she's gonna be a heartbreaker when she's older." She's older, and she is.

metalmom, I'm never having kids. ;-)

Dagny, am I that transparent?

sizzle, I'm sure you could find a younger man or ten to crush on. ;-)

kilax, hey, she has her crushes, too! ;-)

Hilly

Well aren't you a Dirty Birdie????

Actually I kid because I have crushes on Tom Welling and Jared Padalecki and they are so young as well!

SJ

Lusting after babysitters reminded me of Adventures In Babysitting, and then you mentioned Elizabeth Shue! If you're a fan of her and haven't seen that movie, it's a charmer.

My current celebrity crush is one of the contestants on So You Think You Can Dance? I'm always a pushover for the ones with moves.

tori

I always freak out when I see someone I think is cute on some new tv show or movie and then check to see how old they are and they are younger than my baby brother (he's 26). I do still lust after some older ones too though and I totally know what you mean. Why aren't there ANY that are actually my age?

kapgar

Hilly, would you expect anything less than dirty birdie from me? ;-)

sj, oh we own that flick. I wish she was my babysitter. Total hotness!

tori, the only one my age is Kate Winslet who is a couple months younger than me. I've had a crush on her for some time, too. But that ruins the whole post now doesn't it? ;-)

Guilty Secret

Ha ha what a funny post, my male friends all seem to be suffering from this too as they approach their 30s... thanks.

kapgar

GS, phew! It's not just me.

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