Are you a planner or a planned-for?
What I mean is, do you actively make plans for yourself at all times or, if in a couple, are you the one that makes plans for all social engagements; or do you rely on someone else, in many cases your significant other, to make plans for you?
In my marriage, Katie is definitely the planner and I'm the planned-for. There's simply no question about it. I'm not entirely sure how we fell into these roles. It just kinda happened. One day, I never knew what was going on because, even while single, I wasn't much of a planner. The next, I had a walking, talking Day Planner... and one that kisses very well, too. Added bonus.
I hate making plans to do things. I hate trying to remember what's going on a month from now let alone tomorrow. What are Katie and I doing on the 4th of July? I've asked her a few times and she's told me, but I still don't really remember that well. When the time comes, she'll get us where we need to be.
Of course, I cannot use her at work. That would just be awkward. Can you imagine me calling her up at her work while I'm at my own job and then ask, "Hon, what are my meetings for the day?" Just not good.
So I've thought that in a life in which I'm a planned-for, I always had work to make me feel like I had some semblance of responsibility for myself and my actions.
Yesterday, I realized this is not the case. Whereas, in my personal life, my planner is a human being -- my wife -- in my professional life, it's more computerized -- my Palm Pilot and my Outlook account. I pay absolutely no attention to what's going on until one of the two, or both, tell me where I need to be and it never dawned on me until yesterday.
I was sitting at my desk typing away when all of a sudden my Palm Pilot sprung to life and started chirping an alert that I had a meeting in 15 minutes. "Yeah, yeah," I said. "I know." And I hit the clear button.
"Were you talking to me?" said my office mate.
"Um... no," I replied. It was then that it hit me, I was talking to my Palm Pilot. I was treating it as though it were human -- more specifically, I suppose, Katie -- and I were responding to a comment about some place we need to be.
Oh crap, I've lost complete control of my actions. I'm just an automaton going through the motions of life, performing an act or going some place that something or someone else dictates.
And, now that I think about it, it doesn't bother me one bit. ;-)