If there's any one thing I learned from multiple dorm viewings in college, it's that good scripts and plots are very much the exception in the porn industry. Who needs a script and plot (and acting for that matter) when sex is all you are trying to convey?
Well, me. Back in the day when watching these sorts of films was commonplace for young men, it would've been nice to legitimize the affair a bit by being able to claim that these films bordered (and I use that loosely) on art.
Therefore, I think I'm going to make it a point to start writing the thinking man's (and woman's) porn scripts.
I've actually already got several ideas in my head. No, the other head, you pervert. The one north of my shoulders.
But the problem is that I am a married man. I hope to have kids some day. And I'm a professional in the tech industry. So there really is no way I can legitimately use my real name when writing these scripts.
This is where you come in. I need a good porn pseudonym... basically just a pen name under which I can write these scripts and not rouse suspicion from those I know.
I'd also like to know... if you were to do something similar, what would be your nom de plume?
Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Today's sign that the apocalypse is on us comes in the form of a CD that I picked up at the library last week. It's titled Monster Ballads Xmas and features many of the great hair bands performing holiday standards. Check some of these out...
- Skid Row - "Jingle Bells"
- Winger - "Happy Christmas (War is Over)"
- Jani Lane of Warrant - "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"
- Twisted Sister with Lita Ford - "I'll Be Home For Christmas"
- Queensryche - "White Christmas"
- L.A. Guns - "Run Rudolph Run"
- Firehouse - "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"
- Danger Danger - "Naughty Naughty Christmas"
- Tom Kiefer of Cinderella - "Blue Christmas"
- Nelson - "Jingle Bell Rock"
- Faster Pussycat - "Silent Night"
- Dokken - "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
- Enuff Z'nuff - "Happy Holiday"
- Stryper - "Winter Wonderland"
- Billy Idol - "Christmas Love"
Wow. I just don't know what to say other than I can't wait to hear this one!
On the topic of music, got a meme for you in the extended post.
The iTunes Meme! from Dave at Blogography:
How many total songs?
5,740 songs equating to 16 days, 2 hours, 6 minutes, and 30 seconds of music.
Sort by song title - first and last...
"A-100" by Billy Corgan and "10358 Overture" by Electric Light Orchestra.
Sort by time - shortest and longest...
"Interlude (Let's Dance)" by Janet Jackson at four seconds and "A Long Day" by Polyphonic Spree at 36 minutes, 31 seconds.
Sort by Album - first and last...
Abbey Road by The Beatles and 5150 by Van Halen.
Sort by Artist - first and last...
a-Ha and 1990s. Not sure who the last one is. Must be part of some compilation.
Top five played songs...
I never really listen to songs through iTunes. It's always on my iPod so I'm not sure how to measure that. The top five on iTunes are ones that Katie listens to more when she's at home on the computer. We have four songs by Rocco DeLuca and the Burden -- "Colorful" (#1), "How Fast" (#2), "Speak to Me" (#4), and "Gravitate" (#5) -- with Rascal Flatts' cover of "Life is a Highway" in the middle at #3.
Find the following words. How many songs show up?
Sex: 35, Death: 38, Love: 341, You: 654, Home: 53, Boy: 94, Girl: 97.
First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle...
"Waiting" by Chris Isaak, "Hawai'i '78" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, "Here Comes the Night" by Van Morrison, "Cookie Jar" by Jack Johnson, and "Barstool" by Gary Jules.