Give it away...
It's peanut butter jelly time...

Reach out...

Have you ever had the desire to live by the old AT&T slogan? 

Reach out... reach out and touch someone. Reach out... call up and just say "hi."

Remember that one? Some of you may be too young to remember it as it's from way back in 1981. I envy you.

I wanted to do this yesterday with a guy from the gym. In the locker room. I wanted to reach out... reach out and strangle the ever-loving shit out of him. Reach out... smash his jaw and just say "STFU!!!"

After Katie and I finished our workouts last night at the gym, we went into the locker rooms to change to go home. I was sitting on the bench cooling down a little bit and listening to my iPod when I heard a pop and smack. I hate looking over at people in the locker room anymore for fear they will wind up being another naked wet yoga man. Hey, self preservation is king for me. So instead I shut off my iPod and just listen to what's going on around my earbuds.

The idiot next to me is sitting there "chewing" his gum with his mouth hanging open and doing it at full volume.

I've rarely heard anything more disgusting in my life. Chewing gum with your mouth open is not an entirely disgusting act if done right. It's not the best idea, but I can tolerate it. However when you're doing so with what sounds like a mouth full of liquid smacking, slurping, and just generally being an ass, then I take issue with it.

For a second, I thought it might be a joke. That it might've been a friend of mine doing it intentionally to get my attention. I finally mustered up the courage and looked at him. He looked back. Complete with jaw slapping around in a circular motion. I'd never seen him before so that theory was out the door.

But I don't think I'll ever forget that face.

Or that mouth full of crap.

It's rare that I want to beat a stranger to within an inch of his life. Unless it's a bad driver. But this dude just made the list.

Comments

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tori

I hate the noise so much that my daughter who likes to chew gum only does it in her room unless she has a bubble she needs to show me because she knows the sound drives me up the wall.

That may be the longest sentence I have ever written!

Kyra

I always think of cows and their endless chewing. Chewing just isn't attractive. Blah.

sizzle

i am older than you and i can't remember that at&t song. that's what happens when the memory goes! ;)

i actually really don't like gum chewing. most people can't seem to do it...demurely. and i don't chew gum because i have slight TMJ which aggravates it.

Bre

Ugh Ugh Ugh!

Seriously, I just did one of those "that is so gross" shudders.

Gross chewing sends me over the edge.

Michelle

Well, I'm not quite that bad, eww!! I do, however somehow roll the gum over on itself, which makes this nice popping sound, so I don't chew gum a whole lot....

sue

When I hear about things like this or experience them myself, my brain goes into "god, I must be getting OLD..." mode. I start to wonder whatever happened to MANNERS? Is it just me? AM I getting old? *sigh*

Eileen Dover

What's worse than loud gum chewers is loud gum snappers. Don't fricking snap gum in front of me.

Especially if you're checking out my groceries at the supermarket.

kapgar

tori, that was pretty long. Nice job!

Kyra, that's exactly what he sounded like. Cows are excused, though.

sizzle, TMJ? You don't remember that song?

Bre, I was trying to hide my shudders.

Michelle, but do you do that with your mouth open and annoy those around you?

sue, they don't exist anymore. It's not you.

Eileen, I guess I should've pointed out he was doing that, too.

kilax

That is one of my biggest pet peeves too! When I know the person doing it I ask them to stop... otherwise, I run away!

ajooja

None of my family is allowed to chew gum around me because I feel they look and act like such heathens when they do it.

Nothing cheapens a human like chewing gum.

Pet peeve? :)

Karl

I'm a gum chewer, but that dude is just gross. I chew with my mouth clothed, like people with MANNERS.

Karl

Oops, I meant CLOSED, not clothed. That would just be weird. I mean, who clothes their mouth?

metalmom

I was a serious gum chewer when I quit smoking. Now when I am stressed or concentrating VERY hard I tend to snap my gum really loud (but I am unaware of it until someone points it out)

kapgar

kilax, justification for carrying a concealed firearm?

ajooja, could be. ;-)

Karl, there's probably a fetish out there somewhere. Manners? What are those??

metalmom, I'll get you!!! ;-)

Lisa

Sounds like a great new slogan and ad campaign you've come up with. Just not sure who would be best suited to use it!

kapgar

I'll take first crack!

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