Have you ever had the desire to live by the old AT&T slogan?
Reach out... reach out and touch someone. Reach out... call up and just say "hi."
Remember that one? Some of you may be too young to remember it as it's from way back in 1981. I envy you.
I wanted to do this yesterday with a guy from the gym. In the locker room. I wanted to reach out... reach out and strangle the ever-loving shit out of him. Reach out... smash his jaw and just say "STFU!!!"
After Katie and I finished our workouts last night at the gym, we went into the locker rooms to change to go home. I was sitting on the bench cooling down a little bit and listening to my iPod when I heard a pop and smack. I hate looking over at people in the locker room anymore for fear they will wind up being another naked wet yoga man. Hey, self preservation is king for me. So instead I shut off my iPod and just listen to what's going on around my earbuds.
The idiot next to me is sitting there "chewing" his gum with his mouth hanging open and doing it at full volume.
I've rarely heard anything more disgusting in my life. Chewing gum with your mouth open is not an entirely disgusting act if done right. It's not the best idea, but I can tolerate it. However when you're doing so with what sounds like a mouth full of liquid smacking, slurping, and just generally being an ass, then I take issue with it.
For a second, I thought it might be a joke. That it might've been a friend of mine doing it intentionally to get my attention. I finally mustered up the courage and looked at him. He looked back. Complete with jaw slapping around in a circular motion. I'd never seen him before so that theory was out the door.
But I don't think I'll ever forget that face.
Or that mouth full of crap.
It's rare that I want to beat a stranger to within an inch of his life. Unless it's a bad driver. But this dude just made the list.