Rollin' with my homies...
School's out completely...

You're my best friend...

Throughout our lives, we have many friends. But how many so-called best friends?

Very few I would guess. I think I can pretty much count them on one hand.

But your first best friend (I know some of you hate abbreviations, but I'm gonna abbreviate it to FBF for simplicity's sake, okay?) is one you never forget.

I don't know why, but the other day, I was thinking about my FBF. I was five years old and I had moved with my family to Lexington, KY (home of Wildcat basketball and the big D). That's where I met the guy who would become my FBF. His name was Steve Pope and he lived across the street from where my court deadended. He was about a month older than me and in the same grade and we had pretty much all the same interests including Star Wars, Legos, and just generally being five-year-old kids. If ever there was a better way for a kid to become acclimated to a new home, I don't know what it would be.

Steve and I were practically inseparable. He taught me to draw. We launched ourselves off swing sets. We caught crawdads in a nearby creek. We went sledding the few times it snowed in Lexington. We set up Star Wars dioramas (later replaced with G.I. Joes) with the figures in our yards. There was very little that involved one of us that didn't involve the other.

All this changed, of course, when I moved to Bristol, CT, five years later. We still managed to see each other once or twice a year by flying back and forth to each other's houses. But the dynamic was shot. He had new friends; I had new friends. We struggled to find common ground anymore.

After a few years, we lost touch entirely. No letters, no phone calls, and no visits.

I did see him once when my family and I returned from a trip to Tennessee for my grandparents' anniversary in the summer after my freshman year in college. But, again, it was strained. I also heard he was interested in applying to the Art Institute of Chicago, but that never panned out.

The last I heard, he was working for some catering company in Lexington and played drums or bass in some local band. Not much more detail other than that.

But he was my FBF and I cannot help but think about him from time to time and the good times we had as kids.

And I wonder what happened to him.

Comments

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kilax

It's sad how we lose touch with people so easily. At least it wasn't on bad terms! And it's not too late to drop a line!

diane

I had a similar blog entry right after X-mas. My "best" friend since age 8--I have talked to maybe twice in a year, and haven't seen in more than that long. It really breaks my heart sometimes. I know it is not intentional, it is just life, but it is extra-frustrating when you are initiating contact and just not hearing back. :(

kapgar

kilax, I've thought about it. Just not sure how to go about it or what to even say. Know what I mean?

diane, neither of us have initiated contact at this point. As I told kilax, I'm not sure exactly how to go about it. But I do share your frustration with someone else I know.

CuriosityKiller

It is a shame that we lose our childhood friends. Esp now that we're always moving - it's even harder to keep in touch. I've been moving around all my life - and it's frustrating to keep in touch with friends from junior high school, let alone elementary. Want to know my saddest thing? I can't even remember who my best friend from childhood was. *sigh*

kapgar

CK, you really can't remember? Wow. But I can understand it. Especially if you've moved around a lot.

Amie

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My FBF is STILL my BF. I met her the first day of 1st grade, in our hometown in north-central MN, and we became inseparable. We drifted apart during our teenage years due to different interests, and lost track for a few years. She moved away, I moved to FL. Then one day, about 10 years ago, I get an email from her. I lived in Pensacola; she was in New Orleans. Now we're both in FL, me in Tally and her in Gainesville. 30 years after we first met, we're still the bestest of friends, and manage to spend as much time together as possible.

kapgar

Now that's cool! I'm happy for you!

Nilsa S.

Doesn't that make you want to Google him? See if you can locate him to re-connect?

claire

I remember learning in high school that statistically, geography is the biggest factor in friendships when you're little.

tori

I had a best friend from first grade all the way through high school. We kept in touch each time I moved and then finally we lost touch during college. I hadn't heard from her since last year when she contacted me through classmates.com. We still haven't gotten together again, but the possibility is a nice thought.

Bec

I am back in contact with my FBF - it's one thing I am grateful to Facebook for.

kapgar

Nilsa, I've tried that. For someone as artistic as he always was, he has no Web presence at all. That I've found anyway. Didn't dig too deep.

claire, that'll do ya in every time.

tori, that is pretty cool.

Bec, I was looking for my FBF in Facebook and MySpace and found nada. Bummer.

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