I don't know why, but I feel horribly depressive. Actually, I have felt this way since yesterday. No explanation. No warning. It just hit. Like a ton of bricks.
It's one of those feelings where I just want to shut off all lights and curl into a ball in a corner and neither think about nor do anything at all. Well, maybe listen to some really depressive music. But picking that out would require both thought and action... two things that hold no appeal whatsoever right now.
It's not the first time this has happened to me. Not by a long shot. Rarely do I know why it happens. And, no, I do not take any sort of medication or consult professionals to help with it. I just wait for the feeling to ebb to what I deem to be a sufficient level and then I continue with my life. It's worked for me for years now, so why should this be any different?
And today's supposed to be my day, dammit.
I was talking to Katie on the phone while she was in mid-commute to work. She knows when I'm down. Not as though it's difficult to tell; every inch of my being oozes it. So now she's determined to drag me kicking and screaming out of my funk.
Her plan is homemade chicken wraps tonight for dinner as well as an evening of Mario Kart on the Wii. Honestly, both sound surprisingly appealing. Katie and I rarely get to play video games. It's been a few months actually. We always plan to and then never do. In fact, this will probably only be the third time she's used the Wii.
Of course, now I'm even more depressed because I have to wait until tonight to do any of this. Shit.
Sorry I'm not more exciting today and I hate punishing all of you by writing a post like this. But I had to get some of it out of my system. Writing this actually helps a little bit.