Good morning, Aztlan...
How do you let a friend know that you no longer consider them a friend?
No, I'm not dumping anybody. I'm just curious. Back when I was young, I typically just stopped talking to a person. If they persisted, then I might verbally lash out at them. I kinda hoped that would get my point across and it typically did.
While on vacation, though, Katie and I were talking to the Bro and SiL and they related the sordid story of their neighbors and their separation, trial reparation, divorce, and subsequent relationships. Some twisted shit happened that my Bro and SiL knew about but didn't tell one of the involved parties and it wound up in some bad blood. In their defense, I wouldn't have reported it either simply because it's just too mired in shit to even want to try to relate accurately.
The SiL started talking about how her friend, the now ex-wife, reacted to learning about the "mired in shit" events and to the fact that our SiL knew about it. In an attempt at levity, for which I'm well known, I chimed in.
Me: Awwwww, did you get defriended in MySpace?
SiL (sheepishly): yes.
So that is the modern equivalent of a stinging rebuke, eh? No, you don't get embarrassed in a small public forum anymore. You are completely removed from not just the Top Friends list, but the overall Friends list as well for the entire online world to see.
I can understand how some might be hurt, but it still makes me snicker a bit.
Do you think it was Tom's intent for his site to become a thermometer of public acceptance when he, or whoever else was responsible, created it?
What does it take for you to "defriend" someone in MySpace or Facebook? Have you ever been defriended? Care to share the circumstances?
Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Katie and I had a pretty pleasant surprise last night, we rented The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and enjoyed the heck out of it. Neither of us read the original C.S. Lewis novels although I had an interest but never got around to them because I wasn't a fan of fantasy or sci-fi books growing up; just mystery and horror. And neither of us had any interest in seeing this movie when it first came out in theaters in 2005.
However, having seen trailers for the second film in the series, Prince Caspian, and both of us thinking that it looked relatively decent, we decided it would behoove us to watch the first, well, first. Makes sense, right?
So we got the disc from Netflix and threw it in the player last night with some apprehension. We had no idea what to expect. Other than the audio mix being a bit off (it was really hard to hear them talking sometimes and when your neighbors' bedroom is right on the other side of your media wall, you can't really keep it too loud), it was incredibly enjoyable. The kids in the lead roles were really good; Tilda Swinton was more than adequately scary as the White Witch (I think she's scary looking in real life, too, so that helps); and the other supporting cast including James McAvoy, Jim Broadbent and the voices of Ray Winstone, Dawn French, Rupert Everett and Liam Neeson were all top notch.
Now I'm actually looking forward to Prince Caspian. This, of course, is the kiss of death. C'est la vie. But it does have Peter Dinklage in it. It's hard to go wrong with Dinklage in the cast of anything.
I liked the first Narnia movie. I love the books, so I'm interested in seeing Caspian, but the reviews are worrying me a bit.
Posted by: Avitable | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 07:14 AM
On defriending, it's all so Grade 6 isn't it! "Well, I'm going to take you off my friend list, then you will cease to exist to me." You know it's serious when they defriend your spousal equivalent as well.
I did block one person on Facebook she was a former co-worker who got fired (justly IMHO) and I really didn't want to have anything to do with her. I am toying with defriending my SiL's mom. She keeps sending me dumb aps. But THAT would start a fight. LOL.
Posted by: Nat | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 08:35 AM
Dumping friends... I've had some falling out with friends, one good friend in particular over political and religious differences and positions. We've since repaired the friendship, but it's not the same as it was before.
Narnia. I did like the first movie, but also went into it knowing the what the underlying theme of the movie was, so I wasn't watching going, "Huh?". The CGI and actors and actresses were great and there were some really cool chase scenes that I enjoyed.
I don't have much of an interest in seeing Prince Caspian, but that may change once it arrives to Netflix.
Posted by: martymankins | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 08:52 AM
It's funny because it almost seems like losing a MySpace friend, Facebook friend or getting "Twitter-dumped" is the new way for people to stick out their tongues at you and tell you to fuck off.
It's sort of cowardly though. Oh, I am not above it...just recognizing stuff in myself too.
Posted by: Hilly | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 09:13 AM
Prince Caspian is AWESOME.
I think I'm getting "dumped" right now, actually. Apparently the way it is done is to not respond to phone calls and emails and make little digs at someone on your blog.
From what I can gather anyway.
Maybe I need to go check my MySpace list...
Posted by: Miss Britt | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 09:13 AM
Defriending someone in cyberspace is easy compared to the real thing. Aren't MySpace "friends" kind of a joke anyway? Tila Tequila has, what? 2M friends? I'm sure she cares deeply about each and every one of them.
Posted by: John | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 09:22 AM
I've defriended someone one MySpace (because I am, clearly, 12). He was an asshole and I no longer wanted him having any access to my life. The one problemo with that? They can always go to my darn blog!
Posted by: sizzle | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 09:28 AM
As a fellow Dinklage fan... please tell me you saw "The Station Agent," in which he is brilliant.
Though, I have to say, my favorite role I've seen him in was on the short-lived TV sitcom "I'm With Her." He played a real bastard of a Hollywood agent that was too funny.
Posted by: Dave2 | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 09:57 AM
Yikes I don't have MySpace and I think I'm pleased about that.
The Lil P's and I really enjoyed the first Narnia film although I haven't heard wonderful reviews about the second one. I'll wait and see a bit longer I think ;o)
Posted by: Penelope | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 10:55 AM
Avitable, yeah, they kinda worry me too. But I'd still like to go.
Nat, yeah, just don't respond to the apps. That's what I do.
marty, Netflix makes just about anything worth a shot, doesn't it?
Hilly, "twitter dumped," eh? That's funny. And I don't think I'm above it either.
Britt, to see if they defriended you? Sorry.
John, of course she does. Especially considering what Wayne and Garth have to say about her.
sizzle, can't you block an IP address in WordPress?
Dave, I have not because I forgot about it completely, but I did add it to Netflix this morning as I was reading his IMDb profile. Did you see Death at a Funeral? He was great. I also liked him in Penelope with Christina Ricci. I'm not sure if I ever heard of that TV show.
Penelope, yeah, don't go getting that MySpace page. If you're not part of the cult, then you're safe.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 11:07 AM
I have a story to tell but the short answer is that I threw rocks at him and called him a racial epithet.
Not the greatest way to get rid of someone but it is very effective. :)
Posted by: ajooja | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 11:57 AM
ajooja, something tells me that would certainly have some effect. Ouch.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 12:09 PM
Dan and I are in the middle of neighbors/friends going through a nasty divorce with dirt on both of them that we aren't sharing as well. It's awkward, sad and wow...very draining. Thankfully I'm not on MySpace, because I would be dumped for sure. Instead I get the glares and horrible comments, it's lovely.
I too loved Narnia and am looking forward to Prince Caspian.
Posted by: Foo | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 01:54 PM
I read all the Narnia books when I was a kid. I really liked the movie adaptation of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Have read that the Caspian movie is somewhat different than the book so I'm a little apprehensive about that.
And de-friending? What are we, like 5 years old?
Posted by: Kevin Spencer | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 03:37 PM
Foo, that's not a good place to be in. Katie and I almost thought we'd be stuck in the middle of divorcing friends, but one showed their true colors soon after the announcement. Made the decision quite easy.
Kevin, you'd think, wouldn't you? About the five year old claim, that is.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 05:07 PM
That is part of the reason I stay away from those sites... all those people who immediately want to friend you, and you don't want to "friend" them! Is that worse than "de-friending"?
Posted by: kilax | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 07:34 PM
Okay, so I have a MySpace but seriously... I don't use it. I don't see the importance of it. And I've never been defriended or have I defriended anyone that way. What is the world coming to?
Posted by: Lisa | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 07:44 PM
What I find amusing is when someone sets you all of a sudden to "limited profile" - it's as if they're saying they don't quite have the balls to dump you completely, but they don't want you having access to any information of any importance. Might as well just defriend them and be done with it, no?
Posted by: suze | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 07:47 PM
kilax, nah. Not really. Well, maybe it is. Damn, I don't know.
Lisa, a twisted end?
suze, I've never witnessed the "limited profile" phenomenon. Not yet anyway.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 07:49 PM
I don't know whether or not I've ever been defriended, but I've defriended a lot of people. Examples of how to get defriended by me?
-ask me about my feet and tell me you love women's feet (true story).
-ask me to buy into a crappy home business idea because you know, I'm a stay at home Mom, which means I'm gullible and stupid. NOT.
GRR. Now I'm mad and need to go defriend some people.
I also defriend people who update their crap every two seconds like, "just took a crap," "now I'm wiping" on facebook. Come on already!
Posted by: Black Belt Mama | Tuesday, 03 June 2008 at 10:34 PM
Black Belt Mama, so a good list of what not to do on Facebook, eh? I think everyone should adhere to those guidelines whether they're your FB friend or not.
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 04 June 2008 at 06:03 AM
Aren't there more in the series? I may just wait until they all come out, then watch them all... I get tired of being left hanging between episodes.
Facebook seemed a bit too "high school" for me, so I quit it. Maybe I quit too soon? ;)
Posted by: sue | Wednesday, 04 June 2008 at 10:13 AM
I think there are five books overall. Maybe more.
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 04 June 2008 at 11:59 AM