What’s it gonna be…
It's kinda funny to see how polarized people can be regarding us finding out the gender of our forthcoming progeny. They either support us in our decision to not find out or freak out that we're not going to know and, thus, allow them the ability to make purchases for a specific-gendered baby. There really is no in-between on this debate. Nobody saying, "meh, whatevs."
Katie and I feel, however, that there are so few opportunities to be genuinely surprised in life that we may as well take full advantage of this chance.
While we understand and commiserate with your pain (if you're one of those that can't stand the suspense), please know that we are struggling with it, too. Part of us does want to know. Seriously. Life would be so much easier on many counts if we did know.
For example, setting up our registries this past weekend would have been soooooo much simpler. Don't baby product manufacturers and retailers realize that there is a market for non-gender-specific products that is being sorely underserved? 90% of the clothing and bedding and decorations and so much else either comes in pink or blue or has elements indicative of one gender versus the other. IT'S CRAZY!
By not catering to those parents who don't want to find out, and, consequently, those friends and relatives shopping for those people as well, companies are missing out on a huge segment of shoppers!
Do you want to know what happens when you don't cater to this segment? You don't find people shopping as much.
I'll tell you what, Katie and I are genuinely excited about our baby. But our shopping has been minimal at best. While there are a few other personal reasons for this, the primary one is that there just isn't as much to buy that is gender neutral. And it's saving our bank account in a major way.
I know, with no doubt whatsoever, that if we knew if we were having a boy or a girl, we'd probably be going guano bonzo (trans: "bat$h!t crazy"; I'm trying to limit my swearing in light of September 15 and beyond) at Babies 'r' Us, Bye Bye Baby, and wherever else.
Boy's onesie with a Tonka truck or a dinosaur for our son? Done!
Cute little pink floppy hat or tutu for our daughter? Hecks yeah!
But, as it stands, we look at them and say, "what do we do if we don't have a boy (or vice versa)?" and we put it back on the rack.
My tip to other on-deck parents... if you want to keep from going broke in preparation for having your baby, DO NOT FIND OUT THE GENDER!
You'll thank me later.
I have some seriously twisted friends and relatives.
This is a conversation I just had recently with one such "seriously twisted friend" on Facebook (and a little bit in there from my mom). I would've embedded the image but I'm having some issues right now. I'll try to fix it later. Sorry.
I swear if anybody buys that plate for my kid, it will be reported as having been "damaged accidentally" in transit by the USPS, UPS, Fed-Ex, whatever.
GAH!
We only found out Nova's gender at week 31 when we were faced with the very real possibility of meeting him in a few days. Thankfully he stayed put until invited out at week 34. And it took us that long to agree on a name for him, lol! We also went with the not-finding-out thing because I don't approve of the blue is for boys and pink is for girls color scheme. I like green, and want(ed) to have that as my main color anyway... And the only way to get people to cooperate was to just insist that we weren't finding out. Anyways this is a long way of saying I totally understand your stand on not finding out :) looking forward to seeing little bApgar once he/she arrives! :)
Posted by: *lynne* | Monday, 14 May 2012 at 03:58 PM
We like the browns, yellows, and greens too. Blue and punk get so cliche. Names? That's a whole other post.
Posted by: kapgar | Monday, 14 May 2012 at 04:29 PM
Seriously, did we suffer because we didn't know what you or your brother were gonna be? I don't think so. We've gotten too entitled as a society. Give it up people! So sorry that your public is being inconvenienced, Katie and Kevin.
Posted by: Suzanne Apgar | Monday, 14 May 2012 at 08:40 PM
They're not.
Posted by: kapgar | Monday, 14 May 2012 at 08:50 PM
Hey man, why can't your baby boy wear a pink floppy hat or tutu while your daughter sports a onesie with a Tonka truck or a dinosaur? Just because our society has predetermined gender roles doesn't mean you have to care about them. :)
Posted by: claire | Monday, 14 May 2012 at 11:34 PM
A good point, indeed.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 06:36 AM
Mark me down for the 'it's YOUR decision' column. I'm sure you will be happy and love your child whether it's a boy or girl, and finding out ahead of time will not change that.
As for the trucks/tutus dilemma, why not both?
Posted by: Odie | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 07:25 AM
My daughter's mom and I decided to have it be a surprise and I was plenty pleased we did. Glad I ended up with a daughter and it's been a great memory knowing we waited to find out.
Maybe once you get to kid #3, then you want to find out. But the first is cool to be surprised.
Posted by: Marty Mankins | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 09:32 AM
Oh btw, for 'Nev' who's due in July, we went ahead and found out (mainly because we had such a tough time with choosing a name the previous time, we figured we should at least cut out half the effort), but we're not telling. Funnily enough, that seems to be less 'offensive(?)' to people in general than 'we're not finding out' ... Weird... But yeah ... Names ... Allllllll the best to ya on that ... It was a toughie for us! I like what we came up with tho. Hopefully Nova (and Nev) will agree ... !!
Posted by: *lynne* | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 10:12 AM
I commend you for wanting to be surprised by the sex. Sweets and I did, too, and I do not regret that decision one bit! I'll tell you, though, *most* people we know found out the sex, so maybe those companies are catering to the masses.
Also, here's the first of what will be many bits of unsolicited advice ... don't bother to register for clothes or blankets. People buy those gifts as if the stores are running out of stock, whether you register for it or not. We were so thankful we saved our registry for things we really needed ... and only added fun stuff after the necessary stuff was purchased.
Posted by: Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 10:43 AM
Three?!?! Dude! Hush! ;-)
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 01:54 PM
Do your names have significance of any sort? Just wondering because of how unique they are.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 01:55 PM
Our registry is all over the place. The great thing is that both places offer returns on items that are on the registry even without a gift receipt. The woman at BRU said to register for EVERYTHING, even stuff we're not sure if we want because of the return policy. Plus we get points on our TRU/BRU account for stuff purchased from our registry. Score!
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 01:57 PM
That would be a good look for our kid.
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 02:29 PM
Nova and Nev are purely 'Internet names' chosen to alliterate with my own Internet moniker. For Nova's real name, we chose initials to honor members of older generations who have passed on (something hubby's family does): that helped narrow down choices a little bit (a little only: choosing an appealing, not too common male G name? More challenging than anticipated!)
Posted by: *lynne* | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 03:41 PM
So I can call him George?
Posted by: kapgar | Tuesday, 15 May 2012 at 03:44 PM
I wouldn't want to know either because there really are not many opps for genuine surprise. It's exciting! And I can't wait to send you guys gender neutral gifts!
Posted by: Sizzle | Wednesday, 16 May 2012 at 10:19 AM
Why does it sound so wrong to say "gender neutral"? Almost like a curse.
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 16 May 2012 at 12:00 PM
meh, whatevs.
:-D
Posted by: Ren | Wednesday, 16 May 2012 at 12:29 PM
Smart ass.
Posted by: kapgar | Wednesday, 16 May 2012 at 02:33 PM
Star Wars is very gender nuetral. Don't forget that.
Posted by: kilax | Friday, 18 May 2012 at 11:04 AM
Damn right it is!
Posted by: kapgar | Friday, 18 May 2012 at 11:19 AM