Well, the proverbial poop hit the fan and the situation changed dramatically. Let me recap our long, sordid history.

2001: Kevin and Katie sign up to become Comcast cable subscribers for the first time.

2005: We get our first TiVo DVRs and use them in conjunction with our Comcast service.

2007: We get our first HDTV and find out we need to get HD TiVos or get an HD DVR from Comcast. We opt for Comcast since the HD TiVo was about $500. We use it for a little while and realize what a piece of crap it is (spontaneously deleted shows even though more than half the hard drive was empty) and send it back and find a trade in offer that saves us a few hundred dollars on the cost of a TiVo. We still, however, need a cable card from Comcast to be able to get an HD signal through the TiVo. Several cards and service calls later, we finally get one that works.

2010: We get a second HDTV and opt for the new Comcast/Xfinity HD DVR. Much nicer. Works much more reliably than the last one. It just sucks that one TV is using a Comcast DVR and the other is on TiVo. No show sharing.

2011: We move our home phone and internet from AT&T to Comcast in an attempt to save money by bundling.

2012: Half of our two-year bundle saving has expired and our cost goes up $10.

2013: The second year has lapsed and the bundle goes up another $50. I call Comcast to try and negotiate another deal. The best they can do is offer to cut half my channels for a savings of $10. I start shopping and look at AT&T U-verse which only recently became available in my area. I sign up as the deal they offer for two years is a savings of nearly 45% over my Comcast bill.

AT&T summarily dicks me around for about a month and a half due to "equipment availability issues." I finally get a voicemail and email on Christmas Day telling me to call them back as they have the equipment and can finally install it. I don't. I was too busy with the holidays. They call me a few days later "confirming" the appointment I set (which I did not). Luckily I was taking that day off work and call them back to confirm.

The installer shows up and tells me he cannot install as the wiring from the existing box to my house is substandard and the nearest U-verse junction box is more that 3/4 of a mile away. It'll be months before I can get U-verse installed while they dig and bury cables and get permission from our association to put wiring on all the units in our area.

2014: What I didn't know was that in order to get everything ready, AT&T put in a transfer order to have my home phone number freed up by Comcast. Even though the installation never occurred, the order was there and I had to call and cancel it out. What was also not told to me was that, because this order came through, my bundle was negated and my charges for the month shot up another $53.

I'm now officially furious.

I get my bundle back in order to have my cost come back down at least a little while I shop. I check out DirecTV. They offer me a heckuva deal on cable... a Genie DVR and Genie Mini (to allow program sharing among TVs), 205 channels, three months of nearly all their premium channels for free, and the 2014 NFL Sunday Ticket for free. All this will cost me about $60 a month for two years.

Next step is to move home phone over to Vonage.

Comcast... Xfinity... whatever the hell you want to call yourself right now... adios. After 13 years of loyal patronage, you've lost me. I'm done. Piss off. Well, except for internet. I still need you there.

AT&T... if I didn't just sign a new two-year deal with you for our iPhones and my wife didn't still have an unlimited data plan, I'd be done with you, too. Know what the hell you're talking about before you sign someone up for your service and screw us over. I should be billing you for that $53.

TiVo... you've been great. I have no complaints with you whatsoever save for having to rely on a cable card, one of the worst technologies ever developed. You and your exceptionally friendly UI and TV mascot will be sorely missed as you are no longer necessary with our new service provider.

DirecTV... thanks! So far, I'm loving your service. Very intuitive user interface. Great remote controls. The Genie Mini is so slimline it looks like a deck of cards sitting on my dresser in our bedroom. Very clean picture. The installer was cool and very well versed in how to use it all. Katie discovered some cool feature where Nathan's shows get categorized together aside from ours. I don't understand it yet, but she's going to explain it to me tonight. But it was enough to impress her to call me at work when she found it.

Oh, and go figure, when I call Comcast to cancel my cable service, they offer to reinstate the original price of my bundle. When I called before, that was never an option. Idiots.

I'm sorry, but shouldn't at least one of a company's primary concerns be customer retention?

For the record, this is an unsolicited, uncompensated post. If DirecTV wants to give me something for it, I'll gladly accept. Alas, nothing yet.