When you're the parent of a child who is not quite of age to watch the same stuff that mommy and daddy might otherwise prefer to watch, you get stuck watching a lot of kids shows or movies. A lot of them. Nathan's current obsession is The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He can't get enough. Katie and I can't get far enough away.

You wind up doing whatever you can to make the time spent watching shows like TMMC more tolerable. Yesterday, I found a pretty interesting, yet wholly disturbing, way to deal with it.

I started envisioning what it might be like to cast members of TMMC as replacements for the humans in movies made by David Fincher. More specifically, Gone Girl. I mentioned it to Katie and we started playing with the idea. Here's what we have so far. I don't think any of what I'm about to say is spoiler worthy. I'm going to try to keep it safe.

  • Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) - totally Donald Duck. His capacity for rage is awe inspiring.
  • Amy Elliott Dunne (Rosamund Pike) - if Donald is Nick, Daisy must be Amy. And "Amazing Daisy" has a nice ring to it.
  • Tanner Bolt (Tyler Perry) - this has to be Pete the Cat. Self assured. Smooth talking.
  • Desi Collings (Neil Patrick Harris) - Mickey Mouse. We've seen Mickey make eyes for Daisy. She's kissed him in full view of Donald. This shit's gonna hit a head very soon.
  • Margo "Go" Dunne (Carrie Coon) - Minnie Mouse. It doesn't make sense for a mouse to be the identical twin of a duck, but we're really starting to run out of characters. Should Minnie be Amy? Nahhhh.
  • Det. Rhonda Boney (Kim Dickens) - Chip. She's the more well spoken and idealistic of the two police officers investigating the case. The chipmunks are always there, lurking, in the background. And then they appear unexpectedly when it's least convenient. Definitely a chipmunk.
  • Ofc. James Gilpin (Patrick Fugit) - If Boney is Chip, Gilpin must be Dale. There's no way around it.
  • Rand and Marybeth Elliott (David Clennon and Lisa Banes) - Amy's parents should be Goofy and Clarabelle Cow. The world's most awkward will-they/won't-they couple who would be in complete denial of the evil surrounding them.

Obviously, this is just a start. There are so many other characters in the movie that would need to be cast. But this is shaping up pretty well if I do say so myself.

Those of you who have seen or read Gone Girl... do you agree with the casting decisions?

Yes, I have been considering other Disney Fincher movies but none to the depths that I plunged to with Gone Girl. I would, however, like to say that Donald on a rager after finding Daisy's head in a box would be perfection. Sheer perfection. Ahhh, Se7en. Been too long.

Quickie Photoshop job based on this original I found online...

Might be time to consider The Usual Suspects.


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Marty Mankins

One Fincher movie to avoid the Disney cast replacements would be Zodiac. I don't think any Disney character deserves that kind of crossover.


You don't think that would be fun to see?

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