Nathan and I were downstairs cleaning things up before going up to bed when we heard something crash against our big window in the high-ceilinged living room.

“What was that, Daddy?”

“Just a bird, I think.”

We went about our business when, all of a sudden, there was a loud, solid thunk on our sliding glass backdoor.

We both turned and looked and there was a child standing there staring at us. Then she turned and ran into our neighbors’ yard.

“Daddy, that was a kid!”

“Yeah, I saw it, too.”


“I dunno, dude.”

We were both more than a bit troubled. Nathan because it freaked him out. Me because I’ve seen enough horror films to know that a stranger staring at you through a window or door is either an indication you’re living in a haunted house or a harbinger of a impending murder. 


Instead, I texted our neighbors who, according to Katie, had some people over. 


At least I got some alcohol out of it.

Could've been so much worse. 




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Suzanne Apgar

The only thing that would scare me more than Ivanka and her husband would be "Daddy Dearest!"


I’m not so worried about Daddy Dearest because I’m fairly certain he’s incapable of the subtlety required for this sort of scare.

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