For the most part, I've held things together emotionally during this whole pandemic. I've kept it together because I'm the one at home with Nathan a majority of the time because Katie does not have the option to work from home like I do. So I try to keep a strong front while I'm with him.
That kinda went to hell about an hour ago (6 p.m. CT for those of you reading later).
I opened Instagram and they showed me a Memories photo from one year ago.
And I lost it because we can't have a birthday party for Nathan this year like we have done every year that he's been alive. I was getting teary eyed about it all and sinking into a temporary depressive state. It's the first time I've had any sort of emotional reaction to this pandemic at all. Thankfully both Katie and Nathan helped pull me out of it. But it... just sucks.
I know we're not unique in this situation. This is happening to just about everybody who is actually adhering to quarantine and social distancing regulations.
I also know that this isn't bothering Nathan the way it is me. He's actually a champion about it all. He understands why he can't have a party and is dealing with it much better than I would if it was me.
I love that kid. And I love my wife.
And I really fucking hate Instagram right now.