I hate them. Everything about them. The AM. The FM. The multiple time settings. Multiple alarm times. Multiple alarm sounds. External inputs. Dimmers. DST switch. Radio presets. Snooze. Snooze with variable timings.

It gets worse when it’s a clock you no longer actively use as an alarm (I use my Fitbit to wake me up in the morning) and summarily forget how to use it.

So yesterday, we were cleaning our bedroom and I dusted the aforementioned clock radio from hell. While doing so, I must’ve turned the alarm on somehow because, this morning, it starts blaring like an air raid siren at 6 a.m. Considering Katie and I were up until nearly 2, it was a very unwelcome wake-up call.

I jumped out of bed but couldn’t figure out how to shut it off. I found the snooze button, so I hit it and then tried playing with other buttons to turn it off to no avail. Nine minutes later (Seriously, WTF is up with snooze being nine minutes?), it went off again.

I unplugged it hoping it would stop, but no, the battery backup prevented that. I went to take out the batteries but the cover was screwed in place and who keeps one of those tiny screwdrivers handy?

I finally remembered what to hit and did it and it worked but the damage was done. There was no falling back asleep after that anger-and-frustration-fueled adrenaline jolt.

Damn things.

Time is just a construct anyway so who needs ‘em!