Hackers…

Have you ever had a movie that you always kinda wanted to see, that your friends said was great, but you just never got around to watching for whatever reason?

This has happened to me several times. Every once in a while, I may take the opportunity to remedy these cinematic lapses. I did just that tonight.

The movie is called Hackers and it came out in 1995.

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It stars Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Matthew Lillard, Jesse Bradford, Laurence Mason, and Renoly Santiago as a band of teenage hackers in NYC who are being framed by a corporate security team for hacking into cargo freighter security protocols and threatening to capsize them if monetary demands aren’t met.

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From left to right: Mason, Bradford, Santiago, Lillard, Jolie, and Miller.

The team framing them is comprised of Fisher Stevens, Penn Jillette, and Lorraine Bracco. Stuck in the middle is a federal agent played by Wendell Pierce.

People I know love this film. There are articles written about it. Both say it’s just the greatest representation of phreak hacking culture and youth empowerment. 

Me? I thought it sucked rocks. It was boring, predictable, terribly acted, horrifically scripted, and had shitty visuals and effects. I can’t even imagine myself liking this when I was 29 years younger. And I don’t care what you do, nothing on earth could ever make me buy into Fisher Stevens as a technologically savvy, skateboarding corporate IT security director.

Bracco is a generally well-regarded actress. Jolie is an Oscar winner. Pierce is beloved for his roles in The Wire and Jack Ryan. Lillard is my son’s favorite actor. Mason was one of the better villains in The Crow, which is one of my all-time favorite films. Yet if this were the only film to show up in all their resumes, I’d never hire them for another acting gig ever.

Can I have that hour and a half back?

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Marty Mankins

Even Penn Jillette think it sucks (as he has mentioned a few times on his podcast)

kapgar

Has he really?

Marty Mankins

Yes he has in at least a couple of episodes that I heard over the years.

kapgar

That’s funny.

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