It seems to me that if you plow a parking lot and all that remains are snow, ice, potholes, and chunked-up globs of asphalt instead of smooth, clear surface, then, it may be time to consider tearing up the lot and repouring the whole thing. No patches, no crackfill, no microsurfacing... just start it over because, ultimately, it will probably cost less in the long run.
Just because Saturday Night Live is being hosted by a personality you adore doesn’t necessarily mean the episode will be any good. Some laughs. Mostly groans and snores.
But that spoof Zillow ad? Brilliant.
There’s nothing quite so fun as loading holiday decoration containers into the attic and falling from the ladder and hitting my lower back and shoulder against a bookshelf on the way down. I hurt but it’s nothing too unbearable. Still sucks, though.
Roblox... I don’t get it. Not one bit. But Nathan and all his cousins play it and love it, so I guess that’s cool?
I realized something tonight while watching My Best Friend’s Wedding with Katie... Kimmy’s (Cameron Diaz) family is the sort that, based solely on the scale of their wedding, would have a gender reveal fireworks party that would start a forest fire. I am convinced this is the truth.
I was considering an outfit to wear tomorrow for a presentation I’m making on Zoom to a client. I dug around in my closet to find a collared shirt. Of all the things that can happen to clothing — worn, stained, shrunken, outgrown, moth-ridden, outdated, etc. — the one thing I’d never considered was that my clothes would become covered in a thin layer of dust. Ah, pandemic life.
One thing I hate doing that I’ve only done on rare occasion is to unfollow or mute or otherwise hide a person from my timeline on social media. Usually l can tolerate stupidity for a short time knowing that this too shall pass. Well, it wasn’t happening with a certain somebody and their conservative ranting peaked today and resulted in me muting this person from my timeline. I didn’t go so far as to unfollow them. Not yet, anyway. We’ll see what happens when November passes. Assuming things go my way, that is.
I realized something the other day... I need to buy new underwear. Not just to replace one or two pairs. Like, most of them. They’re ancient. Ugh. I hate shopping for underwear. It’s the worst.
I realized something today as I went to pick up groceries, my gas tank is just above a quarter full. I may have to refill soon. For the first time in two months. I wonder if I still know how...
If I’ve discovered one thing from quarantining, it’s that I’m really happy I didn’t become a professional teacher. I have enough trouble legitimately educating one kid let alone 20-30 of them.
I love when scientists let their geek flags fly for the world to see. Like those who named a new species of snake Trimeresurus salazar — or Salazar's pit viper —after Salazar Slytherin, the founder of Slytherin house in the Harry Potter book and movie series. I’m down with that.
This article fills me with rage and leaves me chalk full of bad things I want to do to people who violate his or her grammar teachings, irregardless of what you may think and say to I. So unthaw that brain of yours and read on!
In addition to the bad work that I mentioned in yesterday’s Kevism, another annoyance is the post-work aches and pains that you get. While working, there’s an adrenaline rush that masks it. But once the work winds down and the buzz dies off, the muscle strain and numb joints and headaches kick in. So. Much. Fun.
If there is one thing that drives me nuts about home improvement projects it’s discovering just how poorly your home was originally built... or how lackluster the improvements are that the previous owners made. From bad wall angles to overglued wainscoting and mirrors to medicine cabinets that only use two screws. It’s maddening.
I’m sorry, but if you’re running a restaurant, particularly a Mexican one, and don’t stock enough meat to justify staying open or don’t have hours past 3 p.m. on a Friday, then just shut your doors forever, m’kay?
Both these things happened the last two times we tried to go to Taco Urbano in Batavia, IL. Yes, I went in there and the kid at the counter said they were out of ground beef, steak, pork, and chicken all at the same time. We’re done.
I’m craving a burrito.
That is all.
While I truly appreciate it when companies and stores give us a little more bang for our buck, I’d prefer that toilet paper manufacturers give it to us in the form of extra rolls instead of bigger ones. Toilet paper spindles won’t spin when the roll is too thick. That frustrates me to no end.
In line at the theater, they’re selling “Share Size” bags of Hazelnut M&Ms for $4 each while the Mexican Jalapeño Peanut flavor are $1.50. I’d actually prefer the jalapeño.
Feel free to file this under “Things I never ever saw coming,” but I have become obsessed with Miley Cyrus music. Legitimately. Her new EP, SHE IS COMING, is amazing and I’ve played it a bunch. What is happening to me?
I have several Wisconsinite friends. I love them dearly. But if I’ve learned one thing tonight, it’s that Wisconsinites cannot park for shit. Every state has bad parking. This is next-level bad.
Uvulitis... it’s a thing. Get you some!
I’d show you a picture but I want you to keep visiting.
Take a tip from a pro, kids... When you make something in a blender and pour it in one of those Blender Bottles and then decide to put it back in the real blender to give it some more spin, make sure you remove that metal whisk ball before you push the start button. Oy.
Finally watched BlacKkKlansman. Such an amazing film. While it saddens me to think that our world has a need for heroes such as Ron Stallworth, I’m glad they exist.
The second you lose sight of a blogging goal -- in my case, daily blogging -- it's amazing how quickly and easily it can all go to hell in a handbasket. Two days! I accidentally saved in draft status for two days!
It drives me crazy when an organization (that will go unnamed) asks for an "optional" donation as part of a registration process, but, in order to do literally anything within that org, you have to give them exactly the amount they request as optional. It's clearly "mandatory," so call it a "fee" already. Don't insult my intelligence. Or my bank account.
Is it so much to ask, when you RSVP to an event and discover later that you won't be able to make it, that you contact the host and let them know you can't attend any longer? Birthday party parents, I tell ya.
I’m fairly certain that Dr. Seuss rhymes exist for no purpose other than to torture parents. Prove me wrong.
Wait wait wait... instead of burying people, Washington state wants to pass a law allowing for human composting?? I’m both mortified and morbidly intrigued. I should probably check and see if this is even legit news.
Katie and I have spent the last couple weeks rewatching all the Twilight films. They’re bad, really bad, and yet we cannot stop watching them. So which are you? #TeamEdward or #TeamJacob?
Is there a threshold number of times that you can check something out of the library before they expect you to buy your own damned copy? Today marks our third checkout of the film Megamind, and that’s not counting renewals of each checkout.
I feel certain my new mortgage company has zero faith in the sanctity of marriage as their security questions include "In what city or town did you meet your first spouse/partner?" Yes, "first." Because in these modern times, we have to be specific.
While I refuse to judge them for doing it, I still get a kick out of how many people I see walking around in public tethered to their music, podcasts, etc., with headphones in or on their ears. I refuse to judge because, well, I’ve been them.
What amazes me most about when people drive like raging assholes is that they reliably do one of two actions while doing so... they either turn away from you so they don’t see you flipping them off or they yell at you like it’s your fault. One thing you almost never see anymore is the apologetic “my bad” hand wave. WTF is wrong with people??